Internet Porn


Internet Porn deserves a damn cunting, I am old enough to remember the days when finding Porn on the Internet took all evening, 3 hours spent finding and downloading a video for free which looked half wank-worthy.

Even just browsing pictures took forever, waiting for the picture to display pixel by pixel!
Fast forward to today, fucking porn everywhere, petabytes of it in every deranged form you can imagine.

There’s a niche for everyone:

Looking for hairy Latina girls in glasses being bummed by Mexican immigrants? – You got it! sign-up today

Enjoy watching a woman crap honey out of her arse whilst dressed as Lois from Family Guy? – You got it! sign-up today

Can you only get off to lesbians masturbating for money whilst complaining about womens rights? – You got it! sign-up today

Fucking Internet Porn, it all blends in to one sea of shit and thus, deserves a cunting

Nominated by : Boaby

Nicki Minaj


Nicki Minaj is a stupid stunned cunt with no talent and a fake arse.

The only reason she got a record contract is because she probably blew 20 guys probably executives and managers so she could infect shite music to the masses. I assure you her Muzak propaganda is worse than opium.

Supposedly her music sounds really good on MDMA though. (Just joking it still sounds like shite!)

Nominated by: Titslapper

Lord Sewel


Well bugger me butler. Back to the good old days me dears. A bit orf proper sleaze again at last. Hoise orf Lords, establishment, Labour Peer, snorting cocaine whilst consorting with prozzies and getting filmed. Swinging sixties never went away.

John Sewel (otherwise known as Lord Coke) has been caught at it and had to resign. Waiting for the commie espionage connection to emerge for this former Blair brown noser. Happy days!

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Neil Hamilton


For fuck’s sake what’s the matter with you cunts?!?

I cannot believe that no cunt out there has ever cunted this cunt on “…is a cunt”. And now just to make things worse, his cunt of a mate Farage has finally managed to get the cunt onto UKIP’s NEC. What’s the matter with UKIP? Have the cunts got a death wish?

This cunt is a fucking electoral liability. The rank and file membership think he’s a cunt, I think he’s a cunt and, frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the fragrant Christine thinks he’s a cunt.

Neil Hamilton is cunt amongst cunts; a veritable ubercunt; a cunt so large it could could swallow the Houses of Parliament. Whole. In one gulp. Cunts don’t come more cuntish than that!

Yes, Neil Hamilton IS a cunt – and anyone who disagrees is also a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Sperm Banks


Sperm Banks – where the Wankers meet the Bankers

Blimey O’Reilly more trouble in the banking sector, this time the National Sperm Bank (and apparantly there is one) is running oit orf sperm. Importing sperm from legoland (Denmark cunts) and yankland to make up the deficit. Seems the fillies cannot get enough orf it, rationing ect ect, having to go private and so orn.

All doine to the fillies going self employed. Spot orf the old turkey baster in place orf a genuine bit orf cock. Such times we live in. British manhood spurned. Dyke and poofta couples and single professional women all demanding progeny but not in the time honoured fashion. Ladies, Sir Limply is at your service offering a spot orf vintage spunk at very reasonable rates.

Habitues orf this blog, this is your call to arms, your opportunity to put your wanking to the national good. The Eye alone must produce pints orf the stuff every time he does a spot orf geeking on this site. So cum orn cunters, wipe orf your keypads, suck in your bellies and tickle the old todger. Do some quantative easing and make your donation to the Wank Bank. Your country needs you.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke