Neil Hamilton


For fuck’s sake what’s the matter with you cunts?!?

I cannot believe that no cunt out there has ever cunted this cunt on “…is a cunt”. And now just to make things worse, his cunt of a mate Farage has finally managed to get the cunt onto UKIP’s NEC. What’s the matter with UKIP? Have the cunts got a death wish?

This cunt is a fucking electoral liability. The rank and file membership think he’s a cunt, I think he’s a cunt and, frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the fragrant Christine thinks he’s a cunt.

Neil Hamilton is cunt amongst cunts; a veritable ubercunt; a cunt so large it could could swallow the Houses of Parliament. Whole. In one gulp. Cunts don’t come more cuntish than that!

Yes, Neil Hamilton IS a cunt – and anyone who disagrees is also a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Sperm Banks


Sperm Banks – where the Wankers meet the Bankers

Blimey O’Reilly more trouble in the banking sector, this time the National Sperm Bank (and apparantly there is one) is running oit orf sperm. Importing sperm from legoland (Denmark cunts) and yankland to make up the deficit. Seems the fillies cannot get enough orf it, rationing ect ect, having to go private and so orn.

All doine to the fillies going self employed. Spot orf the old turkey baster in place orf a genuine bit orf cock. Such times we live in. British manhood spurned. Dyke and poofta couples and single professional women all demanding progeny but not in the time honoured fashion. Ladies, Sir Limply is at your service offering a spot orf vintage spunk at very reasonable rates.

Habitues orf this blog, this is your call to arms, your opportunity to put your wanking to the national good. The Eye alone must produce pints orf the stuff every time he does a spot orf geeking on this site. So cum orn cunters, wipe orf your keypads, suck in your bellies and tickle the old todger. Do some quantative easing and make your donation to the Wank Bank. Your country needs you.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Rolf Harris [3]


This an emergency cunting of Rolf Harris following his conviction on TWELVE counts of kiddy-fiddling.

We all know Harris did “Two Little Boys” in the 1960′s, but now it transpires the cunt also did two little girls in the 1970′s…

Not only a lying nonce, but a fucking Australian to boot. Behead the cunt immediately.

Nominated by : Fred West

Now we all know what his ‘extra leg (diddle diddle diddle dum)’ was… And I dread to think what he wanted to tie a kangaroo down (sport) for….

I always wondered why he made those funny panting noises he was so famous for… Dirty old Aussie cunt!

Nominated by : Norman Whiteside

Now we know what he made his didgerie do…

Nominated by : Dioclese

Internet groomers


I would like to nominated “Mummy” as a cunt. She openly flirts with me on Facebook which was very flattering until I found she started life as a man called Marty and still has a dinklage!

I don’t appreciate having my feelings toyed with by some fucking tranny from Florida…

Nominated by: Adam Paul Cortez

No – I don’t want to meet up with you. Not only that but I don’t want to send you pictures of myself naked in compromising positions, give you my phone number or ‘go-private’ in your internet chat room.

However, if you’d like to give me your details, my daddy is a policeman who would very much like to get to know, you sick cunt!

Nominated by: Rolf

James Stunt


From our society correspondent: Who is he? Reputed billionaire husband of billion pound trustfund beneficiary Petra Ecclestone and son in law of billionaire motor racing Formula 1 johnnie and alleged thieving little git Bernie Ecclestone. This Stunt Cunt is reportedly called a “flash bastard” by that arbiter of good taste Bernie E.

Perhaps Bernie has a point. Mr Cunt is reknowned for being chauffered around London in a fleet of motors and bodyguards with himself tucked up in a 600 grand Rolls Royce Mansory Conquistador model with personalised number plates (Personalised? CUNT 1? Pa-lease).

So how did elcunto get himself rolling? We are informed his rich pater supplied him with readies with which he dabbled in the art market and progressed to flogging English School paintings to the yanks (including a Lely or two which might well have come from me). Then it was the usual stocks and shares thing. Contacts, easy money. Plus involvement in a number of companies which seem to have shared the unfortunate characteristic of going bust.

So what does Petra get for her money? A fake tanned orange skinned cunt with a ’90′s Wall Street city boy slickback barnet.

So what does Petra see in Mr Cunt? Want’s to start a family? Well anyone who is part of the Ecclestone menage is accustomed to seeing little pricks.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke