Peter Gabriel and Sting

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Peter gabriel and Sting are a couple of cunts!

The thick as a brick cunts are at it again but this time the bellends are gonna tour together for some easy money. The last thing people want to hear is Gabriel’s “Biko” we all know anti-apartheid is a huge lie cause Africa is worse then ever under black rule. Plus only chavs and poofs want to hear Sting’s “Desert Rose” for the thousandth time.

Peter Gabriel’s WOMAD festival is the dumbest piece of shite that he’s ever done and proves Gabriel has turned into a world music cuckold. Stop being a bloody bellend Peter and reform Genesis! at best you got 10 decent solo songs the rest is dog shit that no one wants to hear.

Also, Sting, apologise to your band members from Police. You’re not the genius you think you are your solo work is also shite. I hope the Rock Paper Scissors Tour is a huge failure and you both fall off the stage!

Nominated by: Titslapper

Adele [3]

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Adele! Adele! Adele! I am sick to to death of this fucking cunt…

First I am tortured by her squawking crap on the radio where I work…

If it isn’t ‘Hello’ (yet another ‘a bloke has dumped me because I am a fat whining cunt’ song) then it’s ‘When We Were Young’ (aka ‘Before I was dumped’) or that pile of shite ‘The Rumour Has it’…Will somebody tell this pig ignorant tart that it’s ‘rumour has it…’ There is no fucking ‘The….’

And if she is not caterwauling, the silly cow is on telly going on about how she ‘bursts into tears spontaneously’ because her microphone failed or something…. The stupid chav got lucky hag wants to to try some real work or problems… And if that’s not enough, Adele is now on the front of every newspaper in Britain, blubbering a the Brit Awards and looking like a cross between Mick Miller (The Comedians) and a baboon wearing lipstick….

Adele is a cunt…

Nominated by: Norman

I keep hearing about Adele being so fucking great that I relented and downloaded (not bought mind you) her 25 album. I gave it a good listening – mainly to see if I could get to understand a word she was singing because her east end diction is fucking dreadful!

I’ve deleted now. Sadly I’ll never get those 45 odd minutes of my life back again and I really regret that…

And if Adele and Coldplay are the height of British music achievement then this country really has not got any talent any more. We’re fucked!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Kanye West [2]

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Kayne west professional at being a untalented cunt and utter bellend wants more money but not just from anybody. He wants it from Mark Zuckerberg Mr.facebook cunt, Zuckerberg is famous for stealing the idea for FB from two university students. Begging for money from a unscrupulous cunt like Zuckerberg?.

Fucking comedy gold quotes like “Also for anyone that has money they know the first rule is to use other people’s money.(Blimey unbelievable), “Mark Zuckerberg invest 1 billion dollars into Kanye West ideas”(he talks in 3rd person BTW) and “Yes I am personally rich and I can buy furs and houses for my family but I need access to more money in order to bring more beautiful ideas to the world.” (Furs and houses for my fambly?!)

Lol oh fuck I can’t breathe from laughing so hard by the way what beautiful ideas has this cunt brought to the world? The cunt has a billion dollar supermodel wife sells his shoes & MOCO music to nigger chav bellends and he still needs more money. Slavery was abolished for this?

Nominated by: Titslapper

The Brit Awards

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I’d like to nominate tonight’s Brit Awards for a cunting. Whilst I’m delighted that it won’t be hosted by James “Tubby McFatFuck” Corden or Davina “I’d literally kill a baby to stay on TV” McCall, I also don’t care as I won’t be watching it.

Featuring performances from Adele, Coldplay, Little Mix, Justin Bieber, James Bay and Rihanna – sooooo….. I wonder what the numerous commercial breaks will be advertising (apart from plenty of plugs for bloody sport relief – another celebrity love-in)?

It’s live of course, so we live in hope that at least one of the above will fall (or be dragged) off the stage, leave a tit on display or… hopefully… be taken out by a secret TV studio assassin (my dream job). But as I said, I don’t care as I won’t be watching it.

In between their predictably turgid, lip-synced performances, there will of course be the awards themselves – a thousand daggers sent to the stage with each smile of those who didn’t win as they clap dutifully. Meanwhile those who do win will gush through their acceptance speeches with all the genuine emotion of Hal 9000 whilst occassionally attempting some wit that would make David Brent look positively erudite. But as I said, I don’t care as I won’t be watching it.

Well it’s going to be an ego-fest alright – no doubt more than a few will try to make some kind of political statement, but given that our politicians struggle with this task, I don’t hold out much hope for anything sensible from a bunch of overpaid cabaret cunts.

Did I mention that I won’t be watching it?

Nominated by: Nickleby

Mark Ronson

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Why the fuck has Mark Ronson not been cunted before?

This rich privileged talentless fucker has a stranglehold on the music biz simply because he can pull off a half decent cover. Fuck me , the words original, talented, creative or even ‘can write a basic tune with three chords’ will never ever be applied to this rich cunt.

On the other hand he could pull off a very good wedding band playing everyones favourites. CUNT.

Nominated by: Vermin Cunt Spotter