Non-Smokers

Advice-for-non-smokers

Non smokers are joyless, self-righteous cunts.

During the winter, thanks to our stupid anti-smoking laws, I have to stand outside in the snow and pissing rain to pursue my favourite pastime.

As soon as the weather improves, these cunts are in the beer garden with their spoilt, screaming brats and they assume they have some kind of right to complain as soon as I light up.Well, they can all fuck off because they’re cunts.

As soon as they can shut up their ill-mannered, selfish, noisy cunt offspring, I’ll put my ciggie out, but until then, they can fuck off and find somebody who might give a flying fuck about what they think. Cunts

Nominated by: little lord cuntleroy

Chris Spivey [2]

A monkey wearing a Chris Spivey T-shirt

A monkey wearing a Chris Spivey T-shirt

Chris spivey deserves a massive re-cunting as the fat ignorant conspiracy theorist cunt is claiming, predictably, that the Tunisian massacre didn’t happen and was staged by “crisis actors”…

Nominated by: Fred West

A cunt out of his own mouth :

your own common sense should leave you laughing at events such as this latest crock of horseshit coming out of Tunisia

Lying British crisis actors more commonly known as Pondlife Traitor Arse-wipe Shitheads make up some hysteria inducing old bollocks after being trapped in their own tiny fucking minds and given a strict mandate to work non-existent Terrapins hurling FUCK ALL at anybody into their fantasy

The gunman who was later shot dead was named as Seifeddine Rezgui, 23 – in other words, an unpronounceable name commonly given over to nonexistent terrapins by the woefully inadequate, government sponsored false flag, scriptwriters

15 Britons were among the 38 who were mercilessly killed in the massacre yesterday and that number ‘may well rise’, Tunisia’s Foreign Minister Tobias Ellwood has said. Yeah, Tobias will be waiting on a phone call from the Cunt Cameron to tell him whether to increase the number of British dead or not.

7/7 was a false flag attack too although that was carried out on British soil. Are the Monkey-Boyz saying that this false flag in Tunisia was carried out on the orders of the British Government? Or did ISIS telephone the Cunt Cameron and tell him that this was an attack specifically targeting the British.

I apologize most sincerely for inflicting this piece of disrespectful, egotistical, sadly deluded piece of pond life on the public. I shall immediately commit suicide to asuage my guilt, realising that Chris will probably say that Cameron had me bumped orf in a false flag attack.

Nominated by: Chris Spivey’s Mum

People Persons

prometheus-people-person

I’d like to formally cunt “People Persons”. You know the type. “Hey, I consider myself a real PEOPLE person!” Yeah. Right.

These awful cunts are usually found attempting to edge their way up the corporate/ religious/ charidee/ political ladder whilst genuinely believing themselves to be inspirational and motivating types who brighten the lives of lesser individuals. Often seen herding their reluctant office underlings into the paintball area of your local wood/swamp/marsh for some “Team Building” (Eurgh!!) or leading a bunch of naïve inexperienced adventurer types into the mountains for a (hopefully) doomed sleepover at Camp Hypothermia. And he’ll have a secondhand guitar which will be twanged tunelessly around the campfire while he urges his freezing companions to sing along about their “ging gang fucking goolies” or suchlike.

Invariably obsessed with slogans such as “wake up and smell the coffee”, “there’s no “I” in “Team”, “get with the program” and the perennial 80’s cunt catchphrase “go for it!” (AAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!) this turd in vaguely human form considers himself/herself a charismatic natural leader of men when actually they are a grating, obnoxious pain in everyone around them’s arse. Tragically they are also often utterly well intentioned into the bargain with the result that their kind hearted colleagues and friends (if they’ve got any) can’t bring themselves to bring them down to earth by informing them that they actually possess less charisma than a half empty tube of Anusol abandoned in a bedsit bathroom cabinet. In Wales.

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

…and here’s a little musical take on the problem as well..

Kanye West

2485568_kanyewest5

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Kanye West, I would shoot Kanye West twice…

Funny to see all them wankstains at Glastonbury: all those white English folk singing along to Kanye Kunt’s set, and then all the furtive looks and awkwardness when it came to the ‘N’ word….

Nominated by: Norman

Chris Spivey

holojoke

Chris Spivey is a cunt. A gargantuan cunt. A pig-ignorant, barely literate, inarticulate conspiracy theorist cunt with a website on which he posits his ridiculous theories that pretty much every major national disaster and/or world tragedy is a hoax staged by “crisis actors” sponsored and arranged by the government of whichever country the event takes place in.Spivey is a typical under-achiever with nothing to show for his life but his tattoos and therefore has only his hilarious insights and idiosyncratic notion of “the truth” left to bequeath to posterity. His website is littered with self-dramatising crap about his arrests and lack of support at court appearances, how he won’t go to hospital in case he’s murdered by the establishment, and photos of his pets and infant grandson presumably designed to elicit sympathy (or “illicit sympathy” as Spivey would surely write).

9/11? Inside job.
Australian coffee shop? Faked.
Lee Rigby? Didn’t happen (in fact Spivey alleges that one of the “killers” was in fact the boyfriend of a Bristol-based “crisis actor” who took the role of the female Australian lawyer “killed” in the Sydney coffee shop).
ISIS hostage beheading videos? Hoaxes.
Glasgow bin lorry crash? Staged (and the motive for that would be what, Chris? You’re slightly sketchy on this…).

Tell all the above to the families of the allegedly fictitious victims – or are they crisis actors too? And presumably that means their friends and neighbours, extended families and everyone they work with and went to school with must be crisis actors also? Fuck me, being a crisis actor sounds like a job for life – where can I apply?

And now the cunt is even suggesting that the mugging of disabled pensioner and Tony Robinson-lookalike Alan Barnes (the crime that prompted that recent massive whipround) was a huge con. According to medical expert Dr Spivey, Barnes is not a pensioner at all, just a young guy with a progressive ageing disease and the so-called mugger was, presumably, a crisis actor (once again, no credible motive offered).

Egged on by a tiny band of fucktard believers, each one a cunt in his or her own right of course, Spivey frequently points to “anomalies” in tabloid news reports as “evidence” of his laughable theories.

Just like thecolemanexperience (cunted previously) who often links to the Daily Mail (of all places!) for his “evidence”, the Cunt Spivey either fails to realise or conveniently ignores the fact that tabloid journalists deliberately fabricate, embellish and distort their stories to make them more sensational – so of course the truth and the facts won’t ever bear much relationship to what you find in the tabloids, but there’s no conspiracy – it’s just that tabloid journalists are lazy, unethical, unprofessional cunts, as has been demonstrated time and time again over the last few years.

Likewise, as any fule kno, reporters on 24-hour rolling news channels routinely present ill-informed conjecture and speculation instead of verified facts – but they are not trying to mislead, they simply don’t have the full story and are just desperate to fill airtime so they waffle on regardless.

Anyone who sees anomalies or inaccuracies in tabloid news stories or 24-hour rolling news reports as “proof” of so-called “false flag operations” is a monumental cunt who urgently needs their fucking head examined. And that’s all Spivey’s “revelations” essentially consist of – Spivey insisting “it couldn’t have happened the way The Sun/Mirror say it did because…” – and that’s true, Chris, very often what appears in the tabloids beggars belief – but only because tabloid hacks unashamedly make the stuff up, you silly cunt! Once you realise that tabloid owners are in it to sell papers by entertaining readers, not by reporting the truth, maybe your hilarious paranoia will subside a little?

Undoubtedly there have been a lot of historical establishment cover-ups (paedophilia and murder at Dolphin Square, Elm Guest House, Cyril Smith, etc), but the problem with cunts like Spivey and thecolemanexperience is that by presenting serious, credible issues like these within the same context (ie on the same websites) as all their ludicrous “false flag” bullshit, they only serve to damage the plausibility of those cases which truly do merit investigation.

The only “inside job” I want to see is the one where the fucking delusional cunt Spivey tops himself.

Nominated by: Fred West