BBC Children in Need is just phase one of the charity barrage that signals the start of the Christmas onslaught in earnest. The chuggers are coming, and woe betide you if you tell them to bugger off!

And this year it will be even worse – because we have all those poor unaccompanied ‘refugee children’ like the one in the above picture lurking across the water in France. And we have to help them, don’t we? Well, actually, no we don’t.

Fuck ’em. Let them eat cake. Let them in and their families will miraculously appear to join them and bring even more extremist bomb makers to our shores.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Yes it’s time to welcome the Prince of Chuggers, the legalised Robin Hood of BBC TV, the cunt of cunts – Pudsey the fucking bear!

Every year the Beeb roll out their pre-Christmas ‘charitee’ bash to raise millions from gormless pricks who donate money to watch the mind bogglingly tedious load of absolute shite that is Children in Need.

When my wife was deserted by her ex and left with a 18 month old child they were definitely in need. Nobody gave them fuck all for nothing and she had to work her arse off in some totally shitty jobs to put food on the table. That’s life. If you can’t support your kids, you shouldn’t be a parent – but then why bother when cunts like Pudsey give you money for fuck all – after deducting expenses of course.

I was once stopped going into work by a bloke with a bucket who said I couldn’t go in until I give Pudsey some of my hard earned. He needed to borrow that fucking eye bandage shortly afterwards…

Fuck Pudsey. Fuck Children in Need. Fuck the BBC. Put some decent programmes on, you lazy parasitic cunts!

Still, this year it’s on Friday 13th so with a bit of luck something will drop on Pudsey from a great height and rid us of the little turd!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Children in Need? Fuck ’em. Let ’em eat cake!

My grandchildren are being press ganged into acting like complete twats in order to raise money to piss up the wall on a bunch of overseas dictators and lazy bastards who are too despicable to look after their kids properly.

And the BBC needs to fill out it’s schedules with cheap puerile bullshit that raises their caring, sharing public service image.

Fuck the lot of ’em. They’ll get fuck all out of me like they do every year…

Nominated by: Dioclese

There’s fuck all worth watching on tellie tonight because Pudsey is back…

Now, I know you are going to think that anyone who says that a charity appeal that raises so much for needy cheeldren should be taken off the air just because it’s a load of purile, talentless shite is a fucking miserable bastard, but frankly I don’t give a shit! Because that’s exactly what it is.

As the late Captain Haddock so succinctly put it back in 2011 : “Pudsey .. the begging, one-eyed, parasite .. can fuck off.” Nicely put Cap’n!

Nominated by: Dioclese