Mens Fragrance advertising

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I wish to nominate those poxy ‘Mens Fragrance ‘ ads.

For fucks sake come on! Do the the admen who make those fucking irritating things think we are that fuckin stupid. ‘Wear this stuff and you too will become a member of the ’beautiful people’! Errrr, no you won’t – you’ll still be Lee getting up to work your 10 hour shift down the abbatoir. And what’s with those hushed tones? Its just some poxy perfume ffs.

Oh and its also vastly over priced. Thats because its got the word ‘designer ‘ in it innit? There’s not so many of these idiotic ads around at the moment but just watch from late September they’ll be everywhere.

Nominated by: Ozymandias

Rachel Reeves

Rachel Reeves fake

Rachel Reeves is an utter band wagon jumping, uneducated, knee jerk reactionary moron, and soon to be tunnel cunted fuckwit.

You’re a typical ‘I invented motherhood therefore all should yield before me’ stasi politico witch.

And no, you fucking stupid cunt, you can’t represent the people of Leeds west and be mother, so you better step your ass down at the next election. Typical socialist war cry, I want the right to have kids and I demand you pay for and look after them whilst I have my ego trip. Rest assured she will be after the patron sainthood of the too posh to push brigade.

Fucking mendacious cunt.

Nominated by: The Captain

Victoria Beckham, UN Ambassador

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I am convinced that the world runs on irony. First the UN makes Tony Blair a peace envoy, then they give him an award as Philanthropist of the Year (I didn’t even know he collected stamps!). Then the UN takes on Bono as special advisor to Wanky Loon. But now they’ve appointed none other than Victoria Beckham as an ambassador. FFS!

So what do you reckon Victoria? “Well, it’s taken me to get to 40 to realise I have a responsibility as a woman and as a mother.” Amazing! She’s been a woman for 40 years and despite her three kids, she’s just realised she’s a mother.

“For some reason people will listen to me. This is the beginning of an incredible journey for me.” Yep, I can’t explain it either but I sure as hell agree that it’s incredible.

Apparently she missed the opening of her shiny new London store to be there saying she felt her public profile meant she had a duty to do more about woman’s health. Bollocks! The only thing Victoria Beckham ever gave a flying fuck about was Victoria Beckham and the promotion of Brand Beckham – so this all fits in as a nice little profile raiser and money earner.

I should know. I’m married to the cunt!

Nominated by: David Beckham

The Beckhams

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I see the Beckhams are at it again. They’ve got a new TV show to tie in with The World Cup: It’s called “David Beckham – Into The Unknown”

Into the unknown,eh? Well if it involves those two media whore cunts being jettisoned into outer space, then I will watch it. If not then they can sod off… Bloody hell, it’s been over ten years since he left United (backstabbing little fucker!). Yet he and his horrendous wife still fascinate and infest every corner of the media. Will they ever fuck off and leave us in peace?

( Probably not, Norman! Ed. )

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside