Had occasion to spend a couple orf days in Berlin on business. First to admit I cannot stand the krauts but do like to get slaughtered on a spot orf weiss bier. A simple enough pleasure at my age you may think but not a bit orf it. As soon as the fraulein deposited me tankard orf Goering’s finest I am surrounded by a commando orf mime cunts. White flat caps, white gloves, white face, the whole fucking schmeer.

Bastard kraut cunt shoves his fissog into mine and gives me the old garlic sausage breath so I give him the old double Churchill straight in the mush “Fuck orf cunt”. Problem is, and this will mark your card, the krauts think this kind orf caper is “funnee”. Some fat bint with black buttons on her tits gives me a leaflet. Apparently the whole orf the EU is hosting a festival orf mime, universal language bollocks and crap.

Cunters, stay out orf Europe for your own sanity until these mime cunts crawl up their own arseholes and vanish in a puff orf fart.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Cyril Smith [2]


On the subject of Fat Nonces, whom even an xxxxxxxxxl size would not fit, the Independent Police Commission is FINALLY carrying out an investigation into the misdeeds of that fat pervert Cyril Smith.

Admissions emerging that not were plod ordered to release him when he was first arrested, but then threatened under the official secrets act and made to hand over all evidence that would have sent the fat bastard and his accomplices down for a very long time.

The downfall of one very fat MP of a party which had its fair share of perverts would of course not make headlines for long, so one must assume that there were bigger fish caught in the investigation.

The cunts who ordered the cover up need to be named and shamed

Nominated by: Lez

Leon Brittan


Leon Brittan, now Lord Brittan, Baron of ect ect is back in the news again. This wart faced cunt with a kiddie sniffer conk and former Home Secretary to Margaret Thatcher during the Miners Strike and later Secretary for Trade and Industry (he resigned over his perverse anti British meddling in the Westland Affair) was also a Queen’s Council so should know his arse from his elbow in matters legal. If one was casting a film about paedos this ugly cunt’s boat race alone would take him to the top orf the bally list.

It has been confirmed that he was handed a forty page dossier in 1983 detailing allegations of high level kiddy fumbling activities amongst the denizens of Westminister. To begin with this former top legal eagle was unable to recall this happening (well such a common and unmemorable event me dears) then under media pressure he could remember but could not recollect its contents or any actions taken about it or indeed what happened to the dossier in the end.

I wonder if his brother, Samuel, a leading journalist for The Times, could assist in his recollection. Other sources are popping some names into the frame of allegations including Cyril Smith, Jeremy Thorpe and confirmed batchelor Ted Heath. Not to forget our favourite master of paedo ceremonies, Jimmy Savile.

Old paedo cunts never die, they only wank away.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Rolf Harris [3]


This an emergency cunting of Rolf Harris following his conviction on TWELVE counts of kiddy-fiddling.

We all know Harris did “Two Little Boys” in the 1960′s, but now it transpires the cunt also did two little girls in the 1970′s…

Not only a lying nonce, but a fucking Australian to boot. Behead the cunt immediately.

Nominated by : Fred West

Now we all know what his ‘extra leg (diddle diddle diddle dum)’ was… And I dread to think what he wanted to tie a kangaroo down (sport) for….

I always wondered why he made those funny panting noises he was so famous for… Dirty old Aussie cunt!

Nominated by : Norman Whiteside

Now we know what he made his didgerie do…

Nominated by : Dioclese

Jimmy Savile [2]

Pope John Paul II - St. George's Roman Catholic Cathedral, Southwark

Jimmy Savile – beyond a cunt!

Have to admit a grudging admiration for some of the cuntitude demonstated on this august blog but even I have me limits. The allegation has emerged from the Savile Reports that our Jimmy would slip into the mortuary, hook his old cock out and then Jim Would Fix It up the fanny of some old dead slapper or a little kiddie. And he was not alone.

Bugger me (or not if you are orf the Savile tendency), I may be an old aristo and a trifle laissez faire in me sexual proclivities, but that is hogging it rather. It is alleged that Savile boasted that the stones in his rings were made from the glass eyes of his “friends” in the mortuary. Touching little memento or the kind of thing one heard about Nazi perves in the Death Camps or various assorted psychos principally in the good old US of A?

Forced to pose the question “when is a cunt a cunt” and when do they get promoted to the super league. Savile takes the concept into a whole new realm of degeneration. Calling Savile a cunt gives cunts a bad name.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke