Fake watches

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Anyone who wears a fake watch is a cunt. Any one who knows anything about watches can tell a fake from 100m so by wearing one you are announcing to the world “I’m a faking cunt” Just be honest and wear a Tag instead.

Rolex are prone to this. Any Rolex, genuine or fake is assumed to be fake. And even if they are not fake they say “CUNT” as clear as day. We call them clitoris watches, i.e every cunt has one.

The cunts who have a Rolex are the same sorts of cunt who think Bang and Olufsen make good hifi, Harley Davidson make good motorbikes and Hugo Boss make good suits. Cunts.

Nominated by: Fat Rich

( I’ve got a fake Rolex. Ed. >

Pamela Anderson

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Pamela Anderson is a cunt…

Apart from being at least 90% plastic/silicone/Fibreglass and having the dignity of a blubottle on a turd, this silly old cow is still flaunting herself in lad’s mags… I went in the paper shop for a (Manchester) Evening News and the daft bitch is on the cover of FHM… First off, FHM must be hard up for dolly birds if this is the best they get these days… That Tulisa cumbucket was bad enough, but a plastic granny?!

Also, isn’t it pathetic that, 20 years later, the old tart is still getting her kit off to get noticed or paid? And the face on it? It’s surgery gone mad/wrong on par with Michael Jackson…

It’s like that other (well overused) cunt, Madonna: dressing like a prossie when she’s pushing 60… Where’s the class or self respect? Give it up. grandmamas…

Nominated by: Norman

Halloween

Halloween

Yes, it’s Halloween time again. I’d explain what it’s all about but I can’t be arsed to repeat meself, so if you’re really that interested, then read what I wrote here.

Basically it’s a medieval religious fuckfest that’s been bastardised by the Yanks and converted into a merchandising opportunity and, thanks to the morons who run the EU/Britain into a night when you can light up a kiddywinkle. Why? Well because the cheapjack shite costumes they foist on the little darlings are classed as toys not clothing and don’t have to meet the same fire safety standards FFS!

So, want to celebrate Halloween? Why not fire up a kiddie?

On the other hand just print out this poster, stick it in your window and the cunts to fuck the fuck off!

Nominated by: Dioclese

The Apprentice

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They will no doubt be deserving of individual cuntings, but I’d like to kick things off with a pre-emptive strike by saying that all 18 of them will, undoubtedly, be appalling cunts.

Vain, self-important, egotistical, brown-nosing, back-stabbing, money-grubbing, talentless cunts.

If I was in charge off the BBC then (apart from being a colossal cunt) I would apply the following format to the show:

Each time one of the cunts gets fired by Lord Cunt, when he says “you’re fired” instead of pointing at them with his pudgy little digit, he actually pulls out a gun and, holding it sideways like a real badass, double-taps the cunt in the face.

Then after Sugar has wasted 17 of the cunts, the final cunt gets “hired” and breathes a massive sigh of relief… just before Karren Brady pops up and garrotes them from behind using her own G-string.

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!!!

Nominated by: Nickleby

BARONESS Karen Brady! What the fuck did she get a peerage for other than sucking up to LORD fucking Sugar? Whatever next? A knighthood for the winner?!?

The honours system is a fucking joke – but at least Brown and Blair didn’t get a gong. Maybe that’s because they weren’t on The Apprentice? Just a thought…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Misandrist advertising

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The ads that I particularly hate are the ones that imply that all woman are geniuses and men are as thick as pig shit. Fuck right off you bunch of misandrist slags.

Just because advert’s 30/40/50 years ago were somewhat sexist, doesn’t mean you have to get ‘revenge’ by turning it around. It comes across as immature, unimaginative, and pathetic. A sexist prick, is a sexist prick, regardless of gender.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw