Ant & Dec [2]

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I hate unfunny spackmo keith Lemon, i’d love to twat the cunt in the face with big bat with nails on it, then feed him Ant and Dec (also known as cunt and dick) then Lemon can shat out Ant and Dec, THEN use stupid unfunny cunt Lee Francis (aka Lemon) head as a shitty stick to poke Ant and Dic down the fucking skiddy toilet

Unfunny talentless cunts, only famous by being at the right place at the right time, i’d like a hungry lion to be released Live during ‘I’m a so-called Celebrity get me out of here’ and watch the lion rip out Ant and Decs fucking throats and rip off limps etc, yep, you guessed it, I FUCKING HATE THEM and the Ant and Dec overkill on TV

Nominated by: I hate Ant & Dec

Chris Spivey

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Chris Spivey is a cunt. A gargantuan cunt. A pig-ignorant, barely literate, inarticulate conspiracy theorist cunt with a website on which he posits his ridiculous theories that pretty much every major national disaster and/or world tragedy is a hoax staged by “crisis actors” sponsored and arranged by the government of whichever country the event takes place in.Spivey is a typical under-achiever with nothing to show for his life but his tattoos and therefore has only his hilarious insights and idiosyncratic notion of “the truth” left to bequeath to posterity. His website is littered with self-dramatising crap about his arrests and lack of support at court appearances, how he won’t go to hospital in case he’s murdered by the establishment, and photos of his pets and infant grandson presumably designed to elicit sympathy (or “illicit sympathy” as Spivey would surely write).

9/11? Inside job.
Australian coffee shop? Faked.
Lee Rigby? Didn’t happen (in fact Spivey alleges that one of the “killers” was in fact the boyfriend of a Bristol-based “crisis actor” who took the role of the female Australian lawyer “killed” in the Sydney coffee shop).
ISIS hostage beheading videos? Hoaxes.
Glasgow bin lorry crash? Staged (and the motive for that would be what, Chris? You’re slightly sketchy on this…).

Tell all the above to the families of the allegedly fictitious victims – or are they crisis actors too? And presumably that means their friends and neighbours, extended families and everyone they work with and went to school with must be crisis actors also? Fuck me, being a crisis actor sounds like a job for life – where can I apply?

And now the cunt is even suggesting that the mugging of disabled pensioner and Tony Robinson-lookalike Alan Barnes (the crime that prompted that recent massive whipround) was a huge con. According to medical expert Dr Spivey, Barnes is not a pensioner at all, just a young guy with a progressive ageing disease and the so-called mugger was, presumably, a crisis actor (once again, no credible motive offered).

Egged on by a tiny band of fucktard believers, each one a cunt in his or her own right of course, Spivey frequently points to “anomalies” in tabloid news reports as “evidence” of his laughable theories.

Just like thecolemanexperience (cunted previously) who often links to the Daily Mail (of all places!) for his “evidence”, the Cunt Spivey either fails to realise or conveniently ignores the fact that tabloid journalists deliberately fabricate, embellish and distort their stories to make them more sensational – so of course the truth and the facts won’t ever bear much relationship to what you find in the tabloids, but there’s no conspiracy – it’s just that tabloid journalists are lazy, unethical, unprofessional cunts, as has been demonstrated time and time again over the last few years.

Likewise, as any fule kno, reporters on 24-hour rolling news channels routinely present ill-informed conjecture and speculation instead of verified facts – but they are not trying to mislead, they simply don’t have the full story and are just desperate to fill airtime so they waffle on regardless.

Anyone who sees anomalies or inaccuracies in tabloid news stories or 24-hour rolling news reports as “proof” of so-called “false flag operations” is a monumental cunt who urgently needs their fucking head examined. And that’s all Spivey’s “revelations” essentially consist of – Spivey insisting “it couldn’t have happened the way The Sun/Mirror say it did because…” – and that’s true, Chris, very often what appears in the tabloids beggars belief – but only because tabloid hacks unashamedly make the stuff up, you silly cunt! Once you realise that tabloid owners are in it to sell papers by entertaining readers, not by reporting the truth, maybe your hilarious paranoia will subside a little?

Undoubtedly there have been a lot of historical establishment cover-ups (paedophilia and murder at Dolphin Square, Elm Guest House, Cyril Smith, etc), but the problem with cunts like Spivey and thecolemanexperience is that by presenting serious, credible issues like these within the same context (ie on the same websites) as all their ludicrous “false flag” bullshit, they only serve to damage the plausibility of those cases which truly do merit investigation.

The only “inside job” I want to see is the one where the fucking delusional cunt Spivey tops himself.

Nominated by: Fred West

Cheryl Cole [4]

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I’d like to nominate cheryl (I love my new sir name Fernandez-Versini) for another cunting.

Cheryl’s angry because X factor warm up man Ian Royce allegedly called her Chery Cole and she’s upset when her name is written as plain old Cheryl and she has called the general public ignorant for not being able to pronounce her name properly. She said “It’s not that hard to pronounce my name phonetically…Fernandez-Versini.” Which is a bit rich coming from some one who can’t pronounce a lot of English words properly.

I suggest Chezza stops buying tattoos for her arse and spends her money on eloqution lessons instead. Singing lessons wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

Eeee Chezza ye’r a reet thick geordie cunt !

Nominated by: Cuntface

Neil Hamilton

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For fuck’s sake what’s the matter with you cunts?!?

I cannot believe that no cunt out there has ever cunted this cunt on “…is a cunt”. And now just to make things worse, his cunt of a mate Farage has finally managed to get the cunt onto UKIP’s NEC. What’s the matter with UKIP? Have the cunts got a death wish?

This cunt is a fucking electoral liability. The rank and file membership think he’s a cunt, I think he’s a cunt and, frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the fragrant Christine thinks he’s a cunt.

Neil Hamilton is cunt amongst cunts; a veritable ubercunt; a cunt so large it could could swallow the Houses of Parliament. Whole. In one gulp. Cunts don’t come more cuntish than that!

Yes, Neil Hamilton IS a cunt – and anyone who disagrees is also a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Brooks Newmark

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+ The naked selfie of this cunt +
+ has been removed because the +
+ cunt got Carter-Fuck to threaten +
+ legal action if we left it up +
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Mr Brooks Newmark, Minister for Civil Society (Resigned)

What can one say about the tawdry little tosser? The name is a gift sounding like it’s lifted from a third rate old actor/manager fallen on hard times and playing minor character parts in bad 1950s B movies or a headline from the News of the World circa 1962. Only difference between the Tory sex scandals orf the 60s and today is there are no dodgy prossies and Russian KGB pimps involved. We knew how to rock the establishment in those days.

Come lately to prominence for sexting and emailing snaps orf his decrepit little cock to sad slappers on social sites various. Not really my field but doubtless The Eye can enlighten us. Allegedly at least a dozen photos and more in assorted porno poses. A source told the Sun on Sunday: “He asked her to send an explicit picture back but she refused. The woman had no idea he was married and was horrified when she discovered the truth.”

The victim orf a classic newspaper sting, the horny little cunt was duped into online flirtatious chats and photo exchanges, and sent a graphic snap exposing himself while wearing a pair of paisley pyjamas. After an undercover reporter sent him an explicit picture supposedly of “Sophie”, Newmark then asked for a more explicit picture “Without your hands in the way and legs parted”. He then said: “I’ll send you something in return….”

Caught with his pants down and plastered all over the internet what has a pervie little cunt left to do but to pull a sickie. “I will be beginning residential psychiatric treatment for the next few weeks in the hope that professional help will enable me to salvage my life and my family.”

Mr Brooks Newmark has since resigned his post as Minister for Civil Society, a job that apparantly involved enhancing the exposure orf wimmen in Government circles. Some success surely. He has indicated to the Prime Minister that he will not fight the next erection.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke