Christopher Biggins


With panto season upon us, who better to cunt than Christopher Biggins?

I mean what the actual fuck is this fat cunt actually famous for? Bit-part in Porridge, bit-part in I Claudius, bit-part (non-speaking) in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Can anyone remember anything else? Thought not.

Now the cunt is wheeled out like a fucking “national treasure” (previously cunted) at every opportunity, famous for being famous rather than for any actual artistic endeavour. Absolutely the worst kind of luvvie who seems to be at parties more often than he’s actually working. Hang the cunt.

Nominated by: Fred West

National Treasures


A cunt by any other name…

I hope everyone realises that the rest of the nation plays ‘Is A Cunt’ but has a different name for it. Everyone else calls it “National Treasures”. Think of all the people routinely referred to as “national treasures” – Stephen Fry, Sandi Toksvig, Miranda Hart, Alan Titchmarsh, even Morrissey, for fuck’s sake.


Nominated by: Fred West

Cliff Richard, “Sir” Elton John, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Clarkson and now that cunt who plays Sherlock (Jeremy Brett is ‘the’ Sherlock Holmes and Tom Baker is ‘the’ Dr. Who, so the BBC can fuck right off!).

Then of course there is there are the national treasures of the arsewipe tabloid press and the riff-raff who read them: The Beckhams, Katie “any which way you can” Price, Simon Cowell, Noel Gallagher (and his cunt of a brother), Peter Kay, Cheryl Cole, Wayne and Coleen Rooney…

The national treasure cunt quota in Britain is now massively high…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

The biggest cunt of a National Treasure of them all : Helen Mirren – a woman so far up her own arse she meets herself coming back the other way!

Nominated by: Dioclese