Sergeant Pepper

Apparently, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is the album that “changed music forever”

What a load of pretentious marketing speak drivel! Like fuck it did. The Sex Pistols did more to change the face of music than the Beatles ever did. The Fab Four were a pop band that got lucky because Epstein was a brilliant marketing man.

If you want to hear a half decent Beatles album you won’t find it in Sergeant Pepper. After Revolver it was all downhill as McCuntney & Co climbed further and further up their own backsides.

Want proof it’s all bollocks? Look no further than Amazon who are selling an anniversary copy of the album for £109 with previously unreleased material. Basically five or six preproduction or remixed versions of the same songs. There’s a reason they’ve never been released before. It’s because they weren’t fit for purpose. Beef that up with a book and a couple of DVDs with old documentaries on them. Bingo! Loadsa money…!

No, if you want to hear Beatles music then listen to The Rutles who took their stuff and improved it.

“Changed music forever”? Don’t be a cunt…!

Nominated by Dioclese.

U2 (2)

U2 are cunts…

The cuntitude of their frontman is legendary… But this latest stunt really is taking the piss…In 2007 their ‘Joshua Tree’ album was reissued as a ’20th Anniversary Deluxe Edition’… This contained unreleased and rare tracks, DVDs etc and was reasonably priced.

Fast forward to 2017: and a ’30th Anniversary Deluxe Edition’ is coming out… It’s the same as the 2007 one (without the DVD and some new flash packaging) with (it says) ’25 unreleased tracks’… 18 of the tracks are from a live concert recorded in 1987, and the other 7 are ‘new remixes’ of Joshua Tree tracks… And the price for this ‘new’ set borders on the obscene… For a live CD and a few pointless remixes… Cunts….

Nominated by Norman.

That Jo Cox ‘Tribute single’

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Anyone involved in the ‘charity single’ done as a ‘Jo Cox Tribute’ is a monumental ginormous Saturn sized cunt and should be drowned in a vat of liquid shit… The fact that they are using the Stones classic ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ (ABKCO, you cunts!) is sickening enough…

But to make a record about a murder victim is griefjacking and Dianafication at its gruesome apex…

Whoever is involved with this mawkish, almost Scouse-like shite is up there with Gina Miller and Lily Mong for cunt of the year… Wouldn’t surprise me if the musical mong was on it….

All those who eulogise Cox should remember her priority was never the working people of Britain… She cared more about ‘migrants’ and her precious EU than any ordinary working family in the UK… So bollocks to this ‘tribute’…

Nominated by: Norman

The Beatles

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Well it seems the Beatles haven’t been cunted before, and seeing that they’ve been cunts since the early sixties, I’d say it’s long overdue.. A few years ago I heard some Yank girl on the radio saying “I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like the Beatles.” I wanted to hold my hand out and say “Hello, my name’s Allan.”

I thought they were rubbish from the start and I can honestly say I’ve never heard a Beatles song that I’ve liked. I was listening to bands like the Pretty Things and the Nashville Teens, and I couldn’t understand how these scouse cunts had become so popular.

Years later I saw McCartney and Wings (?) on the tv, his band were all glowering at the camera and he was pulling silly faces, he looked so pleased with himself that I felt the urge to do him some damage. Smug bastard.

The rest of them were no better, Lennon was shagging that horror show exhibit from Japan and Starr’s best work was in the film Candy.

Overrated bunch of cunts who got lucky.

Nominated by: Allan

The Beatles are cunts. I like that song “Oh No” by Zappa and the mothers of invention which was a throwback to the Beatles “all you need is love”. I find it ironic that Lennon wrote it considering he abused his wife hated his children, took any drug given to him, was a asshole to anybody and everybody, and supported IRA and black panthers .

My favorite songs of the beatles are Here comes the sun and My guitar gently weeps(Harrison), Rain, Benefit of Mr.Kite,A day in the Life,Strawberry Fields Foever(Lennon) Yesterday and Helter Skelter (McCartney) Sorry Ringo nothing from you haha but yes your right they were cunts and they used their ego to be musical saviours when in reality they were just abunch of bitter douchebags who hated each other.

Nominated by: Titslapper

The Beatles, what a load of fucking thieving scallies, one day they may be as big as Oasis, another bunch of thieving northern monkeys

Music has been shit since 1980, same old digital shite compressed/processed and time-stretched to the point listening to it makes your ears bleed, in a bad way. Bring back vinyl, it was the source of my best chat up line that does not work anymore : “Hey love, I’m a DJ, want to come back to mine and play with my 12 inches?”

And it actually worked once, but that was when condoms were pretentious and I got a fucking dose of crabs off the slag – happy days

Nominated by: Sebastian Cod Roe

Jonathan King

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Jonathan King, the King of novelty pop records and paedophilia has, surprisingly, never been cunted here. So it’s time he was cunted and viciously so…

His biggest crime against music was “everyone’s gone to the moon”. Which frankly, I wish he had. Note that this convicted Child molester has been invited to take part in a documentary of the band Genesis. No surprises there then, only the BBC would invite such a nonce to discuss the careers of a bunch of self-indulgent prog rockers.

King was put tn charge of the Brit Awards in the early 90s. People asked King why there were no black or female acts on the bill that year? King replied: “Because I don’t like blacks and I don’t like women.”

We all know what he does like though.. King likes white boys and young arses.

Apart from his noncery, King should be cunted/shot for Una Paloma Blanca alone.

Nominated by: Fred West, Lez and Norman