Sergeant Pepper

Apparently, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is the album that “changed music forever”

What a load of pretentious marketing speak drivel! Like fuck it did. The Sex Pistols did more to change the face of music than the Beatles ever did. The Fab Four were a pop band that got lucky because Epstein was a brilliant marketing man.

If you want to hear a half decent Beatles album you won’t find it in Sergeant Pepper. After Revolver it was all downhill as McCuntney & Co climbed further and further up their own backsides.

Want proof it’s all bollocks? Look no further than Amazon who are selling an anniversary copy of the album for £109 with previously unreleased material. Basically five or six preproduction or remixed versions of the same songs. There’s a reason they’ve never been released before. It’s because they weren’t fit for purpose. Beef that up with a book and a couple of DVDs with old documentaries on them. Bingo! Loadsa money…!

No, if you want to hear Beatles music then listen to The Rutles who took their stuff and improved it.

“Changed music forever”? Don’t be a cunt…!

Nominated by Dioclese.

Ed Sheeran (2)

Ed Sheeran is a cunt…

Apparently what drives him is that he ‘wasn’t the most popular kid in the school’…
And now he is ‘the most popular kid in the school’ (err… didn’t he leave school years ago?!) he ‘takes it too far’ (ie: he’s a walking ego of a cunt)… So, because he was called ginger bollocks by his classmates, he still wants to ‘show them all’ decades later and rule the fucking world?… What a pure mardarse… And his ‘Prince Ludwig The Indestuctable’ mode didn’t stop there… He had this to say about a new album:

“In a 100m sprint to get a number one album I just know I’m going to win…
I don’t care who’s doing what. I just know I’m going to win…. I’m going to make sure I come first….”

Nice to know he’s doing it for the love of music, isn’t it?… I bet he throws a fit when he doesn’t get the right end of the Christmas Cracker… Fuck me…

Nominated by Norman.

Music critics


Don’t get me wrong – I actually like the Arctic Monkeys – but what the fuck is the matter with all these music critic cunts? Especially the wankers at the Brit Awards?

Apparently the Monkeys are not only the ‘best British band’, but their latest album ‘AM’ is being fawned over by the aforementioned cunts as ‘Mastercard Best Album of the Year’ FFS! I have all their albums. This latest one is bland, boring, tuneless, hugely disappointing, pretentious shit completely lacking in any semblance of originality.

Thank God these cunts would rate my stuff as crap. That’s got to mean I’m onto something!

Nominated by: ChasCMusic