The third runway

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So the government will ‘Study carefully” the recent report into extra airport capacity that recommends a third runway at Heathrow…

No careful study required Mr Cameron. Surely you recall that cast iron promise YOU made three years ago… ”No ifs, no buts, there will be no third runway at Heathrow”…Or is that like the promise the Lib Dems made on tuition fees?

How do you know when a politician is lying?…You can see their lips move.

How do you know if a politician is a cunt?…They’re a politician.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Independence Day

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I just can’t let the 4th of July go by without marking it by cunting the entire nation of the United States of America. It just wouldn’t be right.

Every year, these wankers celebrate the “nations freedom and the brave men who died defending it”. That’d be the brave men who illegally invade foreign countries, stomp all over any nation that disagrees with them, and forces their dogma on the entire world. The biggest bunch of hypocritical bullshitters on the face of the planet.

The nation that “defends freedoms future” by bombing the fuck out of anyone who gets in their way.

The nation that turned up late for two world wars. Britain would would still be waiting now if it wasn’t for Pearl Harbour.

The nation that was populated by the dregs from the gutters of Europe and whose slogan was “No taxation without representation” when the British crown never received a fucking penny in taxes in the first place.

The nation that has laid claim to every invention it never invented and has rewritten history to suit its own ego. Orwell would have been proud.

Basically, a nation of cunts. Happy 4th July, you fuckers!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Politics

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Politics…….what a crock of shit. There is so little between most parties that you may as well just vote by colour these days. They will all say one thing and ultimately do other things once in power as history has shown!!

Polititians…….what a bunt of scheming cunts (then again I always thought I would have made a cracking politician. Prime Minister Mr Cunty Cunterson!!!)

But if you take away politics, politicians and the democratic process where would we be???? We would probably be living in a Europe that resembled the 3rd world crap zone that is the majority of the middle east, every one fighting each other and being told what to do by some crazy, power hungry murderous Muslim (or other religious cult) cunt who would be trying to convince us all that a “spastic book” written thousands of years ago told us to live that way.

Ahhhhh religion………what a crock of shit!!!

Nominated by: Cunty Cunterson

Lance Armstrong

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Lance Armstrong Is A Cunt

Sliding out of the twat of a gullible woman who either forgets or never knew the name of the demon who spawned this lying, bullying cunt, Lance Armstrong has succeeded in achieving several goals in his whole useless cunting life; giving bored cunts a reason to actually get excited about the world’s second most pathetic sport (after curling), cheating his ass off during seven Tours De France in that country full of arrogant short Napoleonic cunts, bullying poor cunts like Greg LeMonde and Betsy and Frankie Andreu when they told the truth about cheating in cycling and costing them millions in earnings, corrupting cunting cycling officials into busting other two wheel obsessed cunts like Floyd Landis for daring to cheat while on a team other than this evil cunt’s US Postal Service team that named after an dying, irrelevant bureaucracy that employs fat, useless cunts who regularly steal shit right from Americans’ mail, using Sheryl Crow as his emotional pillar while fighting nut cancer that this cunt gave himself after doping himself up with every performance enhancing drug known to man and beast, neglecting that same washed up cunt when she got cancer of her own, boning one of those emotionally fucked up Olsen twins with his one remaining nut, giving false hope to bald, vomiting kids in cancer wards and then spilling his guts to that overpaid and over-worshipped twat, Oprah Winfrey whose cunt probably looks like my wallet.

Nominated by: TIG

The Conservative Party

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The Conservative Party are cunts.

In the interests of balance, it’s worth pointing out what unimpressive cunts the current crop of Tories are. Without the twin liability of Chicken Dave and Gideon the Towel-Folder (and Aussie cunt Lynton Crosby pulling the strings behind the scenes), the Tories could – and should – be doing a hell of a lot better. Their rampant scaremongering and barefaced lies don’t seem to be convincing anyone other than die-hard Tories or they would have broken ahead in the polls long before now. It’s no surprise that Chicken Dave’s “Contract Between The Conservative Party and You” that appeared in the Press throughout the 2010 campaign has mysteriously vanished from the Tory website and has been erased from the archive too. Wonder why that could be? Almost every single promise broken perhaps? Take a look above…

Given all the shit that the Tories – aided and abetted by the Mail, Express, Telegraph and Murdoch titles – have been hurling at the hopeless cunt Miliband for months, you’d expect him to have obligingly topped himself by now, not be level-pegging with Chicken Dave at this stage of the game. I mean for fuck’s sake, Miliband is such an easy target on so many levels, yet the cuntly Tories can’t seem to hit him effectively, let alone deliver a knockout blow. In the current political climate maybe it’s impossible for any politician to persuasively claim the moral, intellectual or economic highground. It’s like asking people to choose between Ian Huntley or Ian Brady. Brady is schizophrenic whereas Huntley is a psychopath, but they both murdered children, so in the end it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other.

Perhaps, like me, the general public despises these cunts equally. I’m hoping for a hung parliament – my definition of which sees Cameron, Clegg and Miliband dangling from a noose side by side on a specially adapted gallows built for three.

Nomimated by: Fred West