Lenny Henry [4]

ROLL UP, ROLL UP

BBC luvvie Sir Lenny Henry will be celebrating his 60th birthday on 29th August.

The corporation have decided to commemorate the occasion with a Sir Lenny Henry 60th Birthday Special. For your diaries it will be shown on Wednesday 22nd August (actually not his birthday) at 8pm.

The comedy extravaganza is to be hosted by racist and former newsreader Sir Trevor McDonald and featuring the unfunny racist one from Tiswas (spot the connection) and the extremely memorable Premier Inn adverts, (as to be honest I am struggling to find anything meaningful he has done in the last 20 years).

They will be joined by special guests we all thought unfunny the first time round, many, many years ago.

Make sure not to miss it, as it promises to be an evening you will never forget and a real fucking treat.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

Comic relief (4)

Be fair… it’s shit isn’t it?

Every year the chuggers wheel out a load a load of puerile, cheap telly courtesy of the BBC. It ain’t funny, it’s just a load of people arsing about to part us from our hard earned cash. Nationalised chugging persuading us to give money to spongers, third world dictators and people in famine and war zones breeding children when they should know better. How do they manage it? Anorexics don’t have children – their bits shut down. So how the fuck do they manage it in these third world shit holes?

Sir Lenny fucking Henry FFS! The only knighthood he should be have would be one to keep his ears warm in bed.

Rant over. Won’t be watching. Won’t be donating. If everybody did the same, we could get shot of this crap once and for all!

Nominated by Dioclese

As if we don’t pay enough in taxes in contributions to the overseas aid budget It’s that time of year again when the biggest bunch of left-on virtue seeking wankers appears on our screens and airways, telling us to part with even more of our hard earned… crowds of nobs drive their cars around with stupid plastic appendages attached to the grill and others dress in fancy dress crap or bake cakes for ‘good causes’. Cunts one and all.

A quick look at the Red Nose Day website shows you those ‘good causes’ there’s a picture of ….lots of little sambos all smiling like heavenly angels for the camera, with a ginger cunt (Cordon?) but you can just see in reality the little peaceful ones are really thinking, I wish my brother mustapha had returned with the AK47 sooner…

The website even have the balls to tell you they are making a difference in the UK and Africa. FFS what is this obsession with helping the lazy good for nothing sand wogs and jungle bunnies. We tried for years – but you can’t help those that don’t help themselves. Why don’t we learn.?

And if that’s not bad enough the Beebistan Broadcasting Caliphate are using our licence fee money to run adverts promoting the whole sordid event every time there is a gap in programmes. The latest I heard on the radio this morning tells me to tune in Friday for hours of comic fun and entertainment. Really??? I’d have More fun pulling me own nasal hair.

The whole advert thing was scripted around ‘Sir Lenny Henry and invites us to enjoy the evening with the likes of Jo fatty Brand, that bird that was once in Doctor Who – Cunthrine Tait the oh ‘so funny’ mincing Grahcunt Nortone and Uber Cunt Russell Bland….

Hell of night that’s gonna be, fat dykes, gay Iorish fellas and a long haired tallentles uber cunt… Think I’ll spend my cash on a whiskey or too, so I can cultivate my own red nose.

Cunts.

Nominated by Leonardo di Cunty

Lenny Henry [3]

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Sir Lenny (fucking racist twat Henry) is about to receive an award from those placating cunt luvvies at BAFTA (Bastard and fucker twat awarders) for his “Contribution to TV”

ummmmm what contribution? Is that the “darkies are underrepresented on TV contribution” or the “Bastardisation of British culture on TV contribution” or even the “Turn on and slag off all the white people who supported his lousy career when he was just the darkie who won new faces or whatever that awful show was he was in” or is it his contribution to “shagging other women behind his idiot leftie wife’s back for years and still convincing people he was a good bloke contribution” because it certainly can’t be his ads for that dreadful motel with “extra comfy beds” that always seem to be situated by the UK’s noisiest and most polluted roads contribution.

Oh but maybe it’s his contribution to that scamming shit Comic Relief who fund arms in Africa and child slave labour with the British public’s hard earned cash. After all he was the co founder along with that other cunt Richard Curtis (don’t get me started on that Cunt)

The award he is being given is in honour of Alan Clark that well known white leftie film director who worked for the BBC for years directing and promoting tripe such as Made in Britain, and who loved to rubbish our troops role in Northern Ireland.

Cunt’s awarding cunts for being cunts. I believe that deserves a major cunting.

Nominated by: Kath

‘Sir’ Lenny Henry [3]

red-nose-copy

Sir Lenny Henry? What has this cunt got this gong for? For being one of the unfunniest men in the world? For being a first class hypocrite? I bet all the right on brigade will pipe up about Henry ‘Encouarging diversity…’ Which basically means that he constantly moans about there not being enough black people (ie: himself) on television.

Nominated by: Norman

Sir Cunt? Shurely not! For services to ‘charity and comedy’. Well maybe the first (at a push) but comedy? Definitely not! He’s one of the most unfunny fuckers around. Even that fat bird he was married to was funnier. Maybe that’s why she buggered off because his ego couldn’t take it?

Anyhow, I thought you weren’t supposed to talk about these things before they were announced officially. But then how could you expect a racist cunt like Sir Delbert Fucking-Wilkins to respect protocol?

It’s ‘crucial’ they withdraw it immediately. That’d fucking teach the cunt!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Comic Relief [3]

Comic Relief shit

FFS! It’s that time of year again! The seriously unfunny cunts are going to subject us to another load of purile shite in the name of charity…

Never mind that they’ve got stacks of dosh from last year they haven’t spent yet, it’s become an annual cuntfest to extract even more dosh from the poor bloody stupid public. Meaningless and, sadly, not even actually funny.

Still, it fills the TV schedules for next to fuck all and displaces some of the even worse shite they call entertainment these days so it can’t be all bad.

They’re still getting fuck all from me though!

Nominated by: Bane the Patroller