Ticketmaster [2]


So all tickets for the Ariana Grande Manchester benefit gig sold oit within minutes orf going orn sale. Ticket agents old friends TicketMaster (Master minds behind London Olympics balls). Endless promises to sort ouit dodgy 3rd world/chinko/mafia ticketing bots. Have to buy ‘em at inflated prices orn Ebay now. Unless our AlKillyer friends have bought the lot as a thank you for their loyal supporters. Cunts too dumb to realise they need a few proper punters there or else not worth going.
Gig should go with a bang either way. And TicketMaster will have made their money whatever. Proves Capitalism is King.

Nominated by Sir Limpy Stoke

Jeremy Corbyn [7]

I’ve read and heard a lot of people have been saying, “Corbyn is a man of principles.” I disagree.

He voted to NOT join the E.E.C. in the 70s; he voted AGAINST Maastricht; however when it came to the big one last year, the dozy bell-end towed the (Tory) party line, consequently both going against his “principles” as well as choosing the wrong side.

Furthermore, where were his “principles” during that whole train debacle? What an embarrassingly monumental turd he looked, despite the fact it was engineered by Richard “Atlantic-sized cunt” Branson.

All politicians are vile, foul, power-seeking liars. I like Mark Twain’s quote about giving the power to the person who wants it the least. Nonetheless, this time I’ll vote to whoever delivers Brexit the fucking quickest.

Nominated by captain Magnanimous