Paloma Faith

I did catch the news yesterday re the frog-faced, warbling, cockney arsehole bringing her child up gender neutral.

I suspect this all started as a fashion statement amongst the Notting Hill chattering classes and has now been fully endorsed by our beloved politicos who learned of the concept whilst participating at their dinner parties.

Paloma Faith certainly has questionable talent; she hasn’t had much publicity in recent weeks and therefore is running low on celebrity oxygen. Enduring her singing is akin to castration with a cheese grater. I second a merciless and sustained cunting for her.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

Sat next to her once in an Islington reataurant. Loud mouth opinionated slapper.

Nominated by Kravdarth

Jeremy Corbyn [7]

I’ve read and heard a lot of people have been saying, “Corbyn is a man of principles.” I disagree.

He voted to NOT join the E.E.C. in the 70s; he voted AGAINST Maastricht; however when it came to the big one last year, the dozy bell-end towed the (Tory) party line, consequently both going against his “principles” as well as choosing the wrong side.

Furthermore, where were his “principles” during that whole train debacle? What an embarrassingly monumental turd he looked, despite the fact it was engineered by Richard “Atlantic-sized cunt” Branson.

All politicians are vile, foul, power-seeking liars. I like Mark Twain’s quote about giving the power to the person who wants it the least. Nonetheless, this time I’ll vote to whoever delivers Brexit the fucking quickest.

Nominated by captain Magnanimous

David Beckham [3]

David-Beckham

David Beckham needs to fuck off now. Sick of seeing the grinning cunt everywhere, when he is not grinning he’s pulling the ‘mean look’ on his Fragrance adverts.

I bet he couldn’t drink two shots of his Whisky without getting pissed. Has been a cunt since he wore that Sarong. We will been bombarded by the Beckhams for decades now. I don’t even reckon David fucks Posh anymore, he’s been caught cheating before (silly man, getting caught) and I think it’s the money they can make being a couple which keeps them together.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny

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It’s New Year’s Eve and yet again we are going to be subjected to the talentless putile shit that is Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny.

It’s enough to drive you to drink – but that’s OK as it’s New Year’s Eve.

Personally, putting shit like this on to see the new year in is all the convincing I need to go to bed and sleep through it.

Bring back Andy Stewart.

Or anything…

Nominated by: Dioclese

The McDonald’s Christmas Ad

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Speaking of Christmas adverts, that fucking McDonalds advert. Jesus Christ! What a family of irritating cunts.

“Dad, why are you so grumpy?!” squeals one of little shits in the back of the car. If that was me I would pull the car over, grip the wheel tighter than my Mrs’ arsehole and calmly explain ” I’m grumpy because I’ve created the worst domestic unit known to man. You shits and your mother are such a disappointment to me that I’ve been spending most of my evenings indulging in smack and having sex with the local street walkers. I hate every fiber of your beings”.

I would then systematically shoot each one of them in the face. Leaving that fucking little fuck pig-boy till last so I could see the despair that the child locks had put onto his chubby shitty face, then delicately kiss him on the forehead and whisper in his ear “Like Wizard do you, you camp cunt?”, then put the twats brains over the back window.

Well, that would be what I would do anyway. Merry Christmas.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto