David Beckham [3]

David-Beckham

David Beckham needs to fuck off now. Sick of seeing the grinning cunt everywhere, when he is not grinning he’s pulling the ‘mean look’ on his Fragrance adverts.

I bet he couldn’t drink two shots of his Whisky without getting pissed. Has been a cunt since he wore that Sarong. We will been bombarded by the Beckhams for decades now. I don’t even reckon David fucks Posh anymore, he’s been caught cheating before (silly man, getting caught) and I think it’s the money they can make being a couple which keeps them together.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny

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It’s New Year’s Eve and yet again we are going to be subjected to the talentless putile shit that is Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny.

It’s enough to drive you to drink – but that’s OK as it’s New Year’s Eve.

Personally, putting shit like this on to see the new year in is all the convincing I need to go to bed and sleep through it.

Bring back Andy Stewart.

Or anything…

Nominated by: Dioclese

The McDonald’s Christmas Ad

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Speaking of Christmas adverts, that fucking McDonalds advert. Jesus Christ! What a family of irritating cunts.

“Dad, why are you so grumpy?!” squeals one of little shits in the back of the car. If that was me I would pull the car over, grip the wheel tighter than my Mrs’ arsehole and calmly explain ” I’m grumpy because I’ve created the worst domestic unit known to man. You shits and your mother are such a disappointment to me that I’ve been spending most of my evenings indulging in smack and having sex with the local street walkers. I hate every fiber of your beings”.

I would then systematically shoot each one of them in the face. Leaving that fucking little fuck pig-boy till last so I could see the despair that the child locks had put onto his chubby shitty face, then delicately kiss him on the forehead and whisper in his ear “Like Wizard do you, you camp cunt?”, then put the twats brains over the back window.

Well, that would be what I would do anyway. Merry Christmas.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

Community speed watch

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Now if anyone deserves a cunting it has to be those kind people with nothing better to do than harass the working community.

Lets take the most recent fatalities in my area, these were in fact Grey on Grey actions by the over 70’s in motor vehicles and did not involve speed just a blatant disregard for other road users, yet these are the same people who club together “for the good of the community” and stand by the road taking plates and sending out shity letters.

Cunts! We pay the police to do that shit!. More to the point we pay your pensions so fucking stop it! If you want to do something useful start litter picking expeditions or form euthanasia clubs and any way if you were so “up for it” where are you when it rains? Exactly half hearted busy bodies!

Nominated by: Lord Benny

I got a letter from one of these cunts. It went straight in the bin, although I did contemplate wiping my arse with it and sending it back!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Nick Grimshaw

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NICK GRIMSHAW. I DON’T CARE HOW MANY TIMES YOU CUNTED HIM, THERE IS NO BIGGER CUNT WHO HAS EVER LIVED, IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY. IF YOU DON’T CUNT (OR RECUNT) HIM THEN THIS WEBSITE ISN’T AUTHENTIC CUNT. ENJOY MY CAPS LOCK YE CANT YE

IN FACT NOT JUST IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY, IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE, IN THE HISTORY OF MATTER, SINCE THE BIG BANG. HE’S SO BIG A CUNT HE PROBABLY CAUSED THE BIG BANG FROM ONE MASSIVE FANNY FART FROM HIS QUIFFY CUNT LIPS. HOW HAS THIS CUNT GOT ON THE RADIO AND NOW THE TV

Nominated by: Curly Cuntington