Philippa Gregory

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Philippa Gregory is a prize cunt…

She claims to be a ‘historian’, but all she does is write pulp crap like Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper. Only Gregory uses real historical figures, because the lazy bitch can’t think of any characters of her own… This old hag will also put in any historical fabrication or myth (no matter how cheap or nasty it is!): like Anne Boleyn shagging her brother was put into one of her novels…

It is widely accepted now that there was no incest by Boleyn and that it was a slur started by Thomas Cromwell in order to discredit her and to have her put to death… But Gregory still uses it as it makes her ‘story’ more saucy and sensationalist, and so it will be bought by all those silly mares who read shite like Fifty Shades Of Grey…

Nominated by: Norman

Neil Hamilton

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For fuck’s sake what’s the matter with you cunts?!?

I cannot believe that no cunt out there has ever cunted this cunt on “…is a cunt”. And now just to make things worse, his cunt of a mate Farage has finally managed to get the cunt onto UKIP’s NEC. What’s the matter with UKIP? Have the cunts got a death wish?

This cunt is a fucking electoral liability. The rank and file membership think he’s a cunt, I think he’s a cunt and, frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the fragrant Christine thinks he’s a cunt.

Neil Hamilton is cunt amongst cunts; a veritable ubercunt; a cunt so large it could could swallow the Houses of Parliament. Whole. In one gulp. Cunts don’t come more cuntish than that!

Yes, Neil Hamilton IS a cunt – and anyone who disagrees is also a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Warwick Davis

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Why is this bumptious little midget cunt popping up everywhere presenting game shows and the like? Biggest part orf the deformed dwarf is his ego. Oh yes, his arse might skim the pavement and he clearly has no discernable talent other than he’s the perfect size to clean the shite and sanitary pads out orf a blocked khazi from the inside but this does not stop the little cunt giving it more rabbit than Sainsburys. The tiny tosser reckons himself more than somewhat and no other cunt has the moxi to break pc taboo and tell this little cunt to fuck orf and go back to his day job in a dwarf tossing circus.

Calls himself “an actor who just happens to be short” when he means “a midget who just happens to think he’s an actor”. A three star cunt. Married to another midget and guess what? All his kids are deformed midgets as well. Nice one daddy. Think he’s worth another two stars for that. Five star cunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Fuck me! The desperate TV Johnnies have revived Celebrity Squares! What the fuck for? It was total shite the first time round! But no – wait a mo! It’s got worse…

There’s some hopeless short-arsed cunt fronting it!

Isn’t this the same cunt that played Marvin the Paranoid Android? He was much better at that…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Schooldays spakkers

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I want to nominate ‘spakkers’. Not the full blown variety, like cunts in wheel chairs or mongers. I’m referring to the ‘tards’ I went to school with. All the cunts in stream 5 at the local secondary modern.

Johnny Sausage with the thick pebble glasses. The cunt with the accessory nipple who was always taking his shirt off to show to the girl with the gammy eye. The kid who would always shout out the same word in class and think it was funny and then wank off and wipe is jiz on Johny Sausage’s blazer. The poor kid who would always put his hand up for a second helping of free school dinners.

Where are these cunts now?

Nominated by: Flaxen Saxon

Britannia Building Society

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The Britannia Building Society are a bunch of totally, utterly, completely useless cunts.

Don’t believe me? Try walking into a branch with a cheque for 40 grand in your hand to open an account.

“Sorry. We’ve nobody available at the moment. Could you make an appointment and come back next week?”

No. I can’t. Fuck you. Cunts. Total cunts. No wonder the banking system is in such shit.

Nominated by: Dioclese