Guy Fawkes [3]

It’s that time of the year when we celebrate heroic failure – November 5th. “Remember, remember the fifth of November – Gunpowder treason and plot” and all that shit.

Why oh why do we celebrate this??? Fast forward 400 years and we see that ol’ Guido was a bit of a cunt. A man who had the right idea you might argue. A man ahead of his time perhaps?

Now I’m not advocating that we blow up the Palace of Westminster with all our honourable members and Lorded peers inside it. That would be illegal. And anyway the Peaceful Ones have already tried and failed. Just like ol’ Guido. Perhaps he was working for ISIS? I think we should be told…

However, you can see where he’s coming from can’t you? So perhaps at this auspicious time of year I can suggest that our Lords and Masters reflect and consider how they should be best advised to represent the wishes of their electorate rather than acting like a load of self serving two faced cunts?

Soubry & Co take note. However we have to let Lord Adonis off on the basis that that particular cunt was never elected in the first place.

Meanwhile they’re having a Diwali party down the road so I’m off for a free curry and fireworks…

Nominated by Dioclese

Guy Fawkes [2]


Guy Fawkes was a right dozy cunt!

Not only does the useless git fail to blow up the Houses of Parliament, but he’s inflicted nights of misery on us where we piss loadsa money up the wall on fireworks to scare dogs and young children.

And to make it worse, our friendly immigrant multicunturals have highjacked to for Divhali. The fucking banging and crashing goes on to fucking days.

Fawkes needs a great big Saturn V sized rocket up his arse, the cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Guy Fawkes


“Remember, remember the fifth of November…”

What a fuck up. Where are the heroes when you need them?

Maybe old Guido was a Jihadist? Maybe they’re not all bad? Just a thought…

Nominated by: Dioclese

It’s that merry time of year again when a minority of selfish, narrow minded cunts turn your average suburb into downtown Beirut. From sunset to sunrise, we can look forward to bangs, pops and whistles as their fucking fireworks off, and tough shit if you have to get up for work in the morning. Try going round to their shit-hole residence and ask them to keep quiet, and all you get is a load of bollocks about “its only fun”, “just five more minutes” or “fuck off, wanker”.

Only upside is you could blast the cunts with a shotgun and no one would be any wiser on the noise. That’d fuck them.

I get a real urge to burn these fuck-wits houses to the ground and stab any fucking cunt trying to flee the inferno.

Nominated by: KiwiCunt