Generation snowflake [3]

OK, for a bit of an ‘outside-the-box’ cunting, how about this for a nomination – my own shitcunt of a nephew. 16 years in and this cunt probably boils my piss more than any real person I know.

I’ve mentioned the cunt a few times in passing. This isn’t some ‘playing up to the crowd’ piece of familial self-flagellation here; this boy is a cunt, and in a few years time is set to become a major leaguer with his vocal, effectively extreme liberal views. No, I do not really ‘love’ him (FFS) – he represents absolutely everything I detest in modern life and neatly encapsulates almost any social issue I have ever cunted within these hallowed pages. In fact this cunting covers many topics which not only boil piss, but make the shit hang sideways in sheer anger to the point where my toilet visits resemble some kind of disgusting David Copperfield illusion show.

A bit of background – sister fucking dearest has spent her entire life ‘getting lucky’. Her serious working life summates to the grand total of 5 years after graduating; thereafter becoming the bugaboo-wielding posh-tart mummy wheeling her kids – thrice – around the suburbs and living off the money of her dentist husband.

The oldest of the three, reared on a new-age parenting diet of naughty steps, safe spaces and fucking hemp, has adequately demonstrated the severe and dangerous deficiencies of proper discipline and boundaries. This cunt got his own way from extremely early on, despite my own protestations and to his credit, even my brother-in-law tried to argue the case many times for less liberalism. But no, sister dearest knew fucking best – don’t shout at him, don’t correct him and don’t stifle him – and in dong so, raised a Frankenstein’s millennial monster cunt of unfathomable proportions.

This fucker champions LGTBXYZ, claims to be a feminist and spent the whole of GE ’17 driving everyone insane with Corbyn pro-propaganda. Never off the fucking phone for a moment, this bastard has that utterly infuriating tendency to talk in that upward inflection, interspersed with the word ‘like’ every three fucking verbs and adds that beyond-the-pale habit of a slight Atlantic twang to what should be a proper fucking whitebread Southwest accent. The cunt is so loud and obnoxious it is untrue. He has applied three times to get on QT and so far failed – it’s about the only possible good thing I can say in favour of the BBC.

It’s my own personal nightmare. Like that episode of Black Mirror where that poor fucker is consigned to spend over 1,440,000 years re-living the scene of his crime with ‘I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day’ playing on loop; just as inhuman is my suffering with the future Owen Jones right in my fucking midst. This probably says more about me than him, but in recent years he has had targeted abuse and aggro from some other kids and I actually sympathise with them instead of him, because I know fine well what he is like. One incident saw kids inscribe on his locker “reserved for a shit”; another saw some irreverent soul just print off and post endless photoshopped images of him standing next to Bungle, Zippy and George with no caption. Each time sister mentions these incidents, I have to leave the room and laugh so fucking hard without making a sound.

It might sound cruel but he irrefutably brings all this upon himself. A superiority complex and and a sense of entitlement fostered all his life to date has molded him into one of Britain’s future all-time cunts. He stands out, even at his posh school full of obnoxious wankers, as tosspot zero. So come one, come all and don’t stand on ceremony to cunt my very own nephew. The fucking cunt.

Nominated by.The Empire Cunts Back

Generation Snowflake [2]

I always find a good cunting hard to pen, I find myself going off topic, overlapping and opening new horizons.

Well generation snowflake is a hot topic, I lay the blame squarely on those of you who have reproduced and can take no blame because I never have nor do I intend to.

So back a couple of month ago I and my Girlfriend undertook on a mission to rescue her off spring from homelessness and financial ruin, extracting him from digs where he was three months in arrears and a course that he had unbeknown to us had not attended for some time in the belief with his working ethic he would be snapped up by an employer and be able to pay his way (something he assured us he had been trying to the best of his ability)

Well reality strikes, after 3 months of fridge pillaging, shitting up the bathroom and general uncooperativeness, he has come up with a cracking idea…..he is not going to pay rent anymore but rent a room in his uni town with some friends in the hope of getting a job there (rewind to earlier in the year) mummy agreed to this insanity, I tactfully shut my mouth.

Well last night was the finale, I normally cook for the “child” but he offered too cook, taken aback I sat and waited for the feast to appear, at 20hrs I gave up and went down the chip shop and fed myself, after said feast I mistakenly opened his bedroom door looked at the filth strewn surroundings that he was wallowing in, the dirty plates, crumpled bedding, all kinds of food wrapper, discarded cups and bottles and I thought about his outspoken stand on global poverty and “old people”

So here my non son I will explain “global poverty and disease are normally caused by ignorance, you are poor because you can’t be fucked to apply yourself in the workplace, you buy shit that wont last 5 minuets and do not save, you like to draw my attention to the diseased starving in other countries, yet you fail to notice we are preparing to fight off a massive rat/cockroach infestation caused by your poor hygiene and possible ecoli outbreak when you mistakenly “snack on” some of your leftovers” and yes “Old People” are cunts because we try to hold you on the straight and narrow, be thankful your mother still puts out, because you my non son need a good slap round the head and a shake to liven up your brain cells, You truly are an ungrateful little cunt.

Bring back National service, so that they may be torn from there mothers breast and learn to fend for themselves and wash.

Nominated by lord benny

Generation snowflake

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Generation snowflake, of which Lily the musical mong is emblematic need a cunting.

The millennial generation have been given their own way first by parents who have spared the rod and a society based upon instant gratification of any and all desires. This has led to a generation who think they can stamp their little feet and shed a few crocodile tears and they will get their own way.

What a pile of cunt.

Nominated by: Skidmark Eggfart