Watership Down protesters

ad_201167361-e1459157625265

Parents who have complained about Watership Down being broadcast on Easter Sunday need to cunted into the stratosphere.

Fucking limp cunts, grow up.

Nominated by : Cunt O’MaCunto

Here’s a few gemettes from the Twitter twatterati —

Screen Shot 2016-03-29 at 12.56.41

Dan, your’re a cunt!
Emily, you’re a cunt!
Lucy, you’re a cunt!
Maddie, you’re a cunt, too!

In fact, you’re all cunts…

Nominated by: Dioclese

The Pope

15360-1xosesz

That shit for brains Pope said 4 million migrants isn’t enough. We “need 450,000 more” The reason is because migrants pay your pensions(don’t ask it’s a stupid liberal mong answer) and..
and because the holocaust happened! What a fucking load of shite!

We need them because Jesus says so – but don’t convert them they are fine as they are as wife beating child marrying bellends!

Nominated by: Titslapper

The Pope lives in the Vatican City.

The same Vatican city that has the fucking massive walls around it.

Those same fucking massive walls that were built to keep Muslim shitbags out.

If the gobshite dago cunt wants some extra migrants, he is more than welcome to keep all of them. And when I say keep all of them, I mean keep all of them locked in.

Preferably giving Catholic priests, Bishops and Cardinals a taste of their own rogering…
(Sorry. Meant medicine!)

Nominated by : Odin’s Balls

Muzzie knobheads

Asad_Shah_3601092b

As it’s Easter, time for a good cunting for those muzzie knobheads…

Apparently we can’t call that choccy egg thing an Easter egg anymore… In case it offends somebody who prays to a paedophile three times a day….

Can you imagine the carnage if Islam was a genocidal death cult and not the Religion of Peace? There would be regular attacks around the world…. (who said sarcasm was dead?)

The very same people who didn’t condemn Rotherham and Rochdale Muslim sex gangs were gagging to hear the Adam Johnson sentence,so they could say it was not enough…

As Islamists slaughter innocents in Brussels, the EU based in Brussels imports millions more Muslims… Don’t those EU cunts get it yet?

Germany and that frumpy cunt, Merkel, invited and continue to invite this cave dwelling filth into Europe. We need to get the fuck out of the EU shitheap now…

Fucking cunts… Fuck them…

Nominated by: Norman

As it’s Easter let’s spare a thought for Asad Shah, the shopkeeper in Glasgow knifed in a ‘religiously prejudiced attack’ by a knife wielding member of the religion of peace.

Shah tweeted ‘Good Friday and a very Happy Easter, especially to my beloved Christian nation. Let’s follow the real footstep of beloved holy Jesus Christ and get the real success in both worlds.’

Naively trying to prove that not all Muslims are cunts, he was knifed to death by one of the many who actually are. I would say ‘Christ help us!’ but I might be accused of being racially provocative…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Middle Lane Hoggers

2.17338555

It probably comes as no suprise to most that some middle-lane hogging cunt has been quite literally shunted out of it by a lorry on the M1, the driver of which was probably fed up with these fucking muggles who clog up the motorways on a daily basis. Lorry driver will obviously be demonised in the Daily Fail, lose his job, etc…

Predictably, the middle-lane moron had dashcams fitted and the whole thing is on camera.
Okay, so perhaps the lorry driver could have just carried on up the inside and undertook him whilst extending the universally accepted wanker gesture. But judging by the overtake seen on the footage – the dickhead in the car was pootling along at about 50mph in the middle lane so no wonder at least one person has lost thier cool. He says the lorry flashed him and drove to close and was ‘intimidating’ him – well that’s probably just a strong indication that you’re in the wrong fucking lane at the wrong fucking speed so move the fuck over! Instead, he obviously felt so ‘intimidated’ that he though the best thing to do was stay right there… cunt.

It’s these fucking imbeciles who cause most of the congestion on the roads, make everybody late, piss everybody right off and make me wish that the Mad Max world is real.

Lorries can sometimes piss me off a bit with the old 5 mile uphill overtake manoeuvre (but in fairness everybody on the road pisses me off at some point), not but half as much as the brain-dead fuckwits that struggle with the mental challenge of breathing in and out, let alone negotiating a busy motorway, plus I always try to remember that lorry drivers are people physically ‘at work’ trying to do their jobs and stick to delivery deadlines.

So I have no sympathy whatsoever for this dashcam douchebag, and I also have no doubt that he’ll soon be coining it in from some solicitor weasel for all the ‘sleepless nights’ he’s about to have. It wasn’t ‘your life’ that flashed before you mate – it was the headlights of the pissed off driver in your rearview mirror (that thing top-centre of your windscreen). And you can bet he’ll be back in that fucking middle lane in no time. (ps – since he recorded it on his twat-cam, shouldn’t the old bill be tapping him up for wee middle-lane hogging fine…?)

Middle-lane hoggers are cunts.

Nominated by: Nickleby

Footie experts

Ian Wright robbery

I am impelled to cunt the anglo-centric, sycophantic, foreigner hating, British punditry displayed by football ‘experts’ in the media. There has never been a more openly xenophobic collection of people than the ex-footballers and managers who get away with calling any professional who isn’t from these shores every stereotypical insult you can imagine.

Some rank-average, overpaid cunt from Gillingham can be as lazy as he fucking likes, display no skill, not show any interest, get torn apart by his opposition and these wankers are completely petrified to throw DESERVED abuse at him just in case they bump into each other on the golf course the next day. “He’s clearly out of from Jeff”, “He’ll come good Steve, class always shines through in the end”, “When you join a new club you have to allow some time for settling in Alan”. I would say “He is fucking useless, get the lazy cunt off and sell him to some Conference team for a Dairy-lea triangle. The fucking prick.”
Some fella from the hills of the Andes whose supporting about 60 of his extended family, has perfectly learnt a completely foreign language, acts like a total professional and treats all the staff and fans with respect has a dip in form for a fortnight or struggles to come to terms with a massively different pressure of expectation, and all of a sudden these fucking has-beens, and more than likely, never-have-beens spout shit like ‘He’s not up to it at this level’, ‘He’s only picking up the pay-cheque’, ‘Lads not interested’, ‘They’ve not got the mental toughness for the Premier League’. Fuck off you racist cunts and make yourselves busy by trying to finger the female presenters on Sky Sports News whilst regaling them with tales of the japes you had in Corfu one year with Dave Beasant.

United got their arses handed to them the other week by Arsenal, and rightly so, they were shit. Two fullbacks were on show that day, Ashley fucking young and Matteo Darmian. They were both awful. Darmian got pulled to pieces by the likes of Redknob, Shitty Neville and that droning cunt Shearer. ‘He wasnt good enough’ and all that shit. ‘Needs to come to terms with the pace of the league.’ ‘Has a lot to learn if he wants to succeed at United.’ Young, on the other hand, whose plied his trade in the English game his entire life, and for 70% of that time been absolute fucking dog shit, with only one foot, was handed every possible excuse by his bum-buddies back in the studios. Eventually his dire display was put down to the fact that one of the best players in the world and a World Cup Winning captain (Schweinsteiger) wasnt helping him enough. No, he was shit because he’s shit, that day and practically every other day of his career, but I’m sure your expert opinions will ensure a Christmas card from Ashley this year and the chance of a tit pic from his wife on Facebook if you’re lucky.

Last night I had to listen to one of the stupidest cunts to ever grace a football field (Ian Wright) aimlessly and without any real point defend the ability of the most over-rated sack of shit to pull on a United shirt, ever (Wayne Rooney).Some scholar had rung up to point out that Rooney has been dreadful for about 5 years, not once pulling a performance out against a team of any note whilst holding the biggest club in England to ransom and handing in a number of transfer requests. Wright was aghast that a Englishman could question Waynes quality, ignoring the facts that he’s had more opportunities than Jimmy Saville and relies on spot kicks for most of his goals. It was blind, patriotic shit that held no water when put under scrutiny, but this nonsensical arse-licking is rife from TV to radio to the Press.

The only people who should be allowed to comment on football in this country are Gullit, Souness, Dietmar Hamann and myself. The rest can fuck off to after dinner speeches.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto