Manchester United FC

Manchester United FC are cunts…

I know: been a supporter all my life, Newton Heath born and bred… But the soulless scum who are now in charge of this once great club have sinked to a new low, even by their standards…

True United great, Nobby Stiles – who now sadly has dementia – was actually charged for tickets when he recently went to Old Trafford… A Collyhurst lad and a player who lived and breathed United and was part of the rebuilding process after the Munich Air Crash… A man who helped the club win their first European Cup… A man who is near the end of his life and also afflicted by a terrible condition is told by the suits he has to pay to get in… While some toothy yuppie cunts from the US, or some clueless moneygrabbing chinks will get complimentary tickets as part of some Glazer soul selling sponsorship deal….

Saddest thing is it’s not even a surprise… Not these days… I can hear Sir Matt Busby’s grave spinning round… Bastard fucking cunts… And Fergie can fuck off and all…

Nominated by Norman

Football fans

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Football fans who refer to their club as “we”

We’ll challenge for the title, that was the year we did the double, we were unlucky there….

Fuck off with the we, you did fuck all and probably watched 99 percent of that success from your living room on Sky Sports.

Nominated by: Mr Cuntypants

Football fans in general are cunts. They buy overpriced club shirts, bore the tits off anyone stupid enough to listen while they talk about the latest wog that their club has spunked millions of pounds on,witter on about players as if they were “mates” with the cunts, hence the Giggsy, Scholesy, Becks etc. crap,get shit tattooes,and worst of all,give a platform for those cunts Lineker, Shearer and Ian Wright to spout their utter tomcuntery.

Rugby,cricket and horse racing are the only sports worth following.

Nominated by: Dick Fiddler

Sam Allardyce [2]

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Amazed that nobody has cunted that fat, ugly, useless cunt Sam Allardyce.

Seeing that neanderthal grinning like a Cheshire cat on the front pages made me want to refund my dinner. “Hark”, I hear you say, “thou shalt have respect for the new England manager”. Well I don’t and here’s why.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that managing the national football team would require certain basic qualifications. Things like having been a success at the highest club level by actually winning things like league titles and cups. Has Allardyce achieved that? No. Have any of the teams he’s ‘managed’ had consistent qualifying success in European competitions? No. Has he managed any of the recognised big clubs across Europe? No. Has he had a strong track record of managing and coaching any of football’s best players? No.

So what exactly are his qualifications then? On the face of it, he doesn’t have any. So the fact he was offered the position in the first place beggars belief, but the fact he accepted it and didn’t say, “No, I’m completely unqualified, I have neither a winning track record nor mentality and my teams are generally just a bunch of thugs who kick, elbow and foul their way through games” makes him a weapons grade cunt. Absolutely cannot wait for this gargantuan prick to get fired.

Nominated by: Immitation Yank

Danny Simpson

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Danny Simpson needs a definite cunting.

He gives his now ex-girlfriend, and is surprised when he ends up in court over it. He managed to dodge prison, being given 300 hours community service in a charity shop in Eccles instead. You’d think he’d be grateful at being shown such leniency. No. He went to court to get it stopped with 155 hours left, because the media had found out where he was working and were bothering him. Turns out the media had found where he was working, because the overpaid halfwit had been parking his completely unobtrusive LAMBORGHINI CUNTO around the from the shop.

Fortunately for Simpson, he got one of the many limp wristed, loony left, soft ass judges, who don’t actually know what their job is. The judge granted his request to have the community service stopped, much to the disgust of his ex-girlfriend and her family, and instead gave him a curfew of 7pm to 6am, rather than the fine he wanted.

You’d think he’d be grateful at being shown such leniency. No. Simpson went back to court to get the curfew lifted, because he wanted to go out on the piss with his Leicester City team mates, claiming it was a work commitment. Surprisingly, the judge he got today seems to have had some sense. He threw out the request for a fine, saying that it would be meaningless to a multi-millionaire. So he threw out the curfew, and ordered Simpson to wear a tag, complete the 155 hours of community. Apparently, the judge also questioned the wisdom of driving to his community service in his Lamborghini Cunto, and asked why he couldn’t take a cab.

I would imagine that Simpson is a pretty unhappy bunny. His arrogance in believing that people like him should be allowed to get away with committing crimes, has brought him firmly right back to where he was when he was first sentenced. Well let’s face it, footballers don’t get paid for their intelligence. He should be grateful though, he did at least avoid prison.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw