“Slow metabolism” “Big bones” “Need support”. No you fucking cunts, you are fat because you are weak. It is your fault and your fault alone. Society didn’t make you fat, McPukeburger didn’t make you fat, Glegg’s nasty pasties didn’t make you fat, you made you fat by eating the fucking shit.

And you can stick your fad diets up your fat arses because all you need to do is consume fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. Nothing more complicated than that, just plain old thermodynamics. Unless you are trying to tell me that the laws of thermodynamics do not apply in the tiny corner of the universe you inhabit?

You should be fucking ashamed of yourself you fat cunts, you are a drain on society and a fucking disgrace.

But so long as you have a big pair of knockers you’re on.

Nominated by Skidmark Eggfart

Barbra Streisand

Fat people are cunts. Especially celebrity fat people.

That silly fat cunt Barbra Streisand just came out and said: “Donald Trump is making me gain weight. I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!”

So let me get this right. Donald Trump comes round your house and forces you to buy some pancakes and maple syrup. He then forces you to stuff them into your fat ugly fucking face. …Surely that’s illegal! ….why haven’t you called the police?
Maybe it’s because he isn’t making you do anything. More likely it’s because you are a fat greedy cunt and you should stop stuffing your face.

I can’t really say anything. I’ve been stuffing my fat face with all kinds of junk lately but at least I admit that no one is making me.
It’s not advertising, cheap pricing or Donald fucking Trump.
It’s just because I’m a greedy fat cunt.
Same as Barbra cunting Streisand.

Nominated by DeploytheSausage

Body Positive Movement

Any chance of a cunting for the body positive movement or BOPO as its known to idiots who cant handle full words.

Its a campaign to make it acceptable for women (not men, funny that) to be obese land whales and that society should not judge them because they are beautiful etc etc , but fail to mention that it costs around 50 billion a yr to the NHS to sort the blubbering arseholes health problems out , which the campaign does not mention.

I smoke, not heavily, but do enjoy a nice hand made fag and I am lambasted everywhere for not being allowed to smoke indoors anymore, overly taxed for my pleasure and to top it all off the bloody fag packets have no design anymore and are just a blackened lung or a dead baby .

Why do I bring this up? Well the cost that smokers bring to the NHS is only 5 billion, monumentally less then the amount the lard arses cost all of us and not a single word said about it in case of hurting feelings. Fuck off, you pussy minded twats, its not BOPO , its called diabetes,cronic heart congestion, and being glued to a mobility scooter cos your legs cant take your enormous bulk anymore, cunt.

Nominated by The sheriff of Cuntingham

Jamie Oliver [5]


This cunt is currently all over the media because he has introduced a 10p ‘tax’ on sugary drinks in his restaurant, Hang on, since when did Jamie Oliver become the Chancellor Of The Exchequer? How is he possibly able to introduce a ‘tax’?

He has put up his prices, that is all.

And as we all know, the tax on cigarettes, alcohol & petrol has made fuck all difference even though it increases more than inflation every year.

It appears the fat Essex toad-faced cunt cannot get a TV series commissioned, so he dreams up this altruistic idea to make him look like a good guy, when all he has done is increase his fucking prices.

What a monumental fat, speech impaired, anorexic fucking, greasy cunt.

Nominated by: Boaby

His restaurants are shite. Crap food with shite service. I speak from some experience.

And his ‘Jamies Cafe’ at Gatwick is a joke. Burnt bacon, cold eggs. A sausage sandwich with no sausage in one side and what tasted like minge in the other.

I shall not be returning to your vile outlets Mr Oliver. You are a crap food serving, fat tongued, pretend cockney ponce. And a massive cunt to boot.

Nominated by: Fleaboy



Break out the Gin and Razors, Adele has come out from a four year hibernation.

She has plastered herself on BBC, X factor (Should be cunted for that alone) and no doubt will go on more, stating she finds Fame and Stardom so hard to live with.

I would have thought the best advice for this bint therefore is not to further participate. Any right minded person would not go back into the spotlight if they then want to moan and leave it.

Do us all a favour and fuck off to where it was you were lying down for the last 4 years and harden up you cunt.

Nominated by: King Cunt

Adele is a piss poor Alison Moyet and a chav cunt got lucky… No doubt her new album will be a bout being dumped, hating her ex-boyfriend, being dumped, anguish at failed relationships, and … err… being dumped….

That ‘Rolling In The Deep’ is one of the worst songs in history… How can anyone roll in deep water? Surely they would fucking drown?! Stupid fat bitch…

Nominated by: Norman