Danny Dire

Danny Dire
We’ve all become familiar with The Great Shamima Begum Debate of late. Begum notoriously wants to return to the UK after fleeing to Syria at the age of 15 to become a jihadi bride.
‘A’ list celebrity and heavyweight political commentator Danny Dire is the latest intellectual to offer his opinion on the subject to the Great British Public. Speaking on ‘Good Morning Britain’, Dire was asked if he thought that Begum should be allowed to return. ‘Yeh ah do’, replied the Oscar winning actor and PhD in International Affairs. ‘Being radicalised and jumpin’ on a plane to Syria, I don’t understand what’s goin’ on there…’.
Well let me explain what’s gone on, Danny. She, er, jumped on a plane and flew off to become a jihadi bride. When in Syria, she conceived three times, has just given birth in a refugee camp, and wants the sprog to get proper care. She now thinks that she should be allowed to come ‘home’ on the basis that ‘a lot of people should have sympathy for me’. Mmm. Sympathy for the woman who told Sky News that she was aware of ISIS carrying out beheadings, and that she ‘was ok with it’? She’s also reported to have said that the Manchester Arena bombing was ‘in retaliation’ and ‘justified’.  I don’t think that the country will buy the idea of her coming back. She supported a terrorist organisation and to date has shown no remorse for her actions. A real solid citizen, this girl.
Here’s the thing then, Danny. If you’re so keen, you can keep and house her, and be responsible for her actions if she comes back. Just remember to sleep with one eye open. Or maybe it would be better if you stuck to acting, if what you do can actually be dignified by the use of that word. As it is, you just look and sound like another gobby, opinionated celebrity who doesn’t have much of an idea what he’s on about. Shut yer maaff mah san, and fack off back dahn ‘The Queen Vic’. As the saying goes, it’s better to remain silent and be thought a cunt than to speak and remove all doubt.


Nominated by Ron Knee


Danny Effin-Blinding Fuckin’ Dyuhh.
Why has this cunt jumped on the treacherous radicalised unrepentant vicious jihadi Shamima “schoolgirl”, I-fucked-a-murdering-convert-cunt-and-shat-on-my-country Begum?

Why is this toilet-mouthed Kockney Kunt defending someone who by her own admission, “wasn’t fazed by a beheaded head in a bin”? Why does this steaming pile of festering wank want someone who by her own admission supports “some” British values. Which one’s, historical Jew Hatred?, Capitulation to her fucking religion?, Free benefits for unrepentant parasitic scum?, Tolerance of the 7th century death cult in our midst?

What is it with wealthy lefty meejah luvvie cunts that from their secure gated communities are oh so tolerant of importing & imposing these cancers into our midst? Plus on so many occasions the same meejah and “celebrity” cunts turn up at some “Palestinian” flag waving, West/Jew/America/Israel/Capitalism “we are all Hamas”, IRA lauding leftist circle-wank-fest, rubbing shoulders with rabid Corbynista Momentum Brownshirts and their allied Postal Vote New Hansharr SS Divisions.

If Shamima the schoolgirl, lover of jihad, slavery, rape, murder and devastation, had been a bushy bearded male cunt, rather than a 19yr old female who can turn on the waterworks, I don’t think this utter utter pile of shit would give a fuck.

He should stick to what he does best, annoy the fuck out of us to the point we switch him off or change channels.

Rather than foist the Begum cancer and sprog on us, housed and paid out of my fucking TAX, perhaps Effin-Blinding Dyer can do the decent thing, convert to Islam and marry her, paying for it with his own fucking money.

Bloody hell, these festering luvvie CUNTS make me puke my guts up and by the smell, much boiling of piss from others overheated bladders.

Danny Dyer, Nobel CUNT Prize.

Nominated by Sheikh Anvakh

Ipswich Borough Council

I would like to nominate Ipswich Borough Council (and all councils that waste local taxpayers’ money)

I feel almost duty bound to post a local story which has left me feeling stunned and angered for many months for a decision made by our local council.

Despite being approximately £8m in deficit and closing many necessary local services our local council has in its infinite wisdom decided to prioritise and spend £3.6 million pounds ripping up and replacing Ipswich’s Cornhill.

It was an extremely lengthy process, due to the fact that some of the stones laid were the wrong sort of stones (unsuitable for wheelchair users) which then had to be lifted and the correct stones ordered and relaid.

Whilst the work was undertaken the local market traders were moved to a different location and they along with several businesses complained bitterly as to the effects this had on footfall. Also businesses from outside the area were given permission to trade in addition to existing market traders.

Now that the development has been completed I went to take a look. To be honest it looks cheap, uninspiring and totally impractical. Some of the structures have already been vandalised with graffiti. Cannot see how the constructors can justify the cost and in my opinion a complete fucking misuse and waste of local taxpayers’ money.

In addition, due to the many different slopes and steps there have already been seven serious accidents and last week a death of an 83 year old man who slipped on the steps. The story from our local rag has been included below.

A man has died after falling down steps in a town square just weeks after new groundwork was laid in a major revamp.

“John Stow, 83, slipped in the Cornhill in Ipswich while shopping on Saturday, and died from his injuries on Sunday.

His sister Vivien Pryke said the family would be looking for answers from the town’s borough council.

New paving and steps were unveiled in November. The council said it was “deeply saddened” and was investigating.

Since a 10-month programme costing £3.6m was completed at the Cornhill, seven incidents have been reported to the council.

In addition to the pointless spending of £3.6m on a pointless new town square, I suspect there will need to be very expensive amendments made to the existing layout, followed by several compensation claims paid out.

Total cost almost certainly in excess of £5m, and for what? Something that looks worse than it did before, several people seriously injured and the death of a pensioner.

Well done Ipswich Borough Council.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

Retailer Stickers

This is a bit of a weird one and no doubt stupid and irrelevant to most, but I need to cunt stickers…
Why do manufacturing or retail cunts feel the need to stick fucking paper stickers (that don’t peel off) onto everything I fucking buy? It’s boiling my piss.

I recently moved into a new place. As I’d just lived in house shares down south, I only had my bedroom to worry about, so when I moved in I had to buy a house load of stuff.
Everything I bought had (and in many cases still has) stickers in stupid places that don’t peel off…

I bought furniture … stickers on the drawers and the top. After lots of swearing and huffing I ended up with loads of bits of ripped paper and sticky gum on my new stuff.
Cutlery … stickers.
Plates, cups, table lamps, washing machine, fridge … stickers. (wm and fridge did peel off to be fair).
Sofas and armchairs… stickers.
There was even one on the front of the fucking kettle. It came in a fucking box for fucks sake. Why the fuck is there a sticker on the front? Apparently 1.7 litres is the maximum that the kettle will hold. IT HAS THAT PRINTED ON THE FUCKING THING ALREADY YOU CUNTS.
I even bought a lemon sqeezer, like a garlic mincer but for lemons. It has some small holes in it to let the juice out. Some cunt stuck a paper sticker over the holes. Fucking thing wouldn’t peel off, just ripped, and when I did finally get the paper part off, the thing was still covered in sticky gum that won’t come off … even with a fucking scourer.

No doubt when they bury me some cunt will stick a fucking sticker on the front of my coffin and the grave stone will obviously need a paper sticker with a fucking bar code on it.


Nominated by Deploy The Sausage

Fat Soldiers

“We ain’t half fat, Mum!”

Another cunting for fatties. This time for fat cunts in the army.
I was shocked when I read this story:


Now I know how these media twats like to exaggerate everything. I’m sure that 1 in 5 of our soldiers aren’t “obese”. I suspect most of us that don’t live on lettuce and dress in stupid lycra costumes and run and cycle every morning will be classed as obese, but I’m somewhat disturbed by the notion that ANY soldier in the British army is not healthy and fighting fit.

How the fuck can they be expected to run across no man’s land or yomp across the Falklands if the fat cunt can’t even walk to the fucking shops.
What, they just going to let the rest of the soldiers do the marching, fighting and heavy work while the fatties plod up the rear, wheezing and sweating.

Apparently the fat cunts are even giving dietary advice to other soldiers…
Yea coz we’re all gonna take advice about responsible drinking from an alcoholic or advice on how to treat women from a fucking rapist.
Nutrition advice from a fucking sweating, wheezing, wobbling, mound of blubber…
Fuck off.

I guess I can’t slag em off too much. It’d be a bit too much of pot & kettle, I’m getting a bit podgy (especially round the gut), but I’m not a soldier.
The freedom of our country doesn’t rest on my shoulders (lucky for all of us).
Our security, prosperity, freedom and entire way of life relies on our soldiers being the best in the world. The best trained, the best armed and the fittest. How the fuck can top brass allow any soldier to get to TWENTY FIVE FUCKING STONE?!
How can a soldier even reach that weight?
I’ve never been in the forces so maybe I’m being ignorant but aren’t soldiers required to do physical training every day?
Isn’t the food they eat supplied by the army?
Aren’t higher ranks required to be as fit or more fit than their subordinates?
I’m confused.

I do worry about our armed forces, as well as our entire society. In fact our entire civilization.
First crying, hugging, praying, taking orders from the Muslim council, trannys and wimminz on the front lines, and now fatties…..
Am I missing something here?

I think a change in leadership is called for.

Nominated by Deploy The Sausage

Greedy Billionaire Businessmen

GREEDY BILLIONAIRE BUSINESSMEN (or women, but it is usally men, the fuckers)

I have just made the mistake of reading yet another Brexit-based story, which has wound me the hell up, big style.

Some cunt named Jim Ratcliffe, who is apparently Britain’s richest man and a ‘prominent Brexiteer’ is planning to leave the UK in order to put more money in his ever-so-dwindling coffers. He is apparently set to move to Monaco in order to avoid the taxman, which will land him and two other greedy ‘Senior Executive’ motherfuckers at his chemical company, between £1bn and £10bn of tax-free cash.

Let’s not worry about the great unwashed struggling to pay bills yet still paying their full share of taxes. Let’s not worry about denying billions that could go towards the struggling shitfest that is the NHS. Let’s not worry about social care for the elderly so they can remain in their own homes which they grafted years to buy.

Let’s just worry about the fact that a £45bn turnover a year company owner and his faithful, arse-licking hangers-on may be a wee bit short in money and not be able to afford their next yacht, so will have to feather their own nests and fuck off to the land of milk and honey.

This Northern twat has quite obviously become so far removed from his roots as a joiner’s son, who reportedly grew up in a council estate, that his concept of the word ‘hardship’ has escaped him. What rubs even more salt into the wound is that he SUPPORTED the leave campaign (but only mentioning how terribly the EU’s green taxes and labour and energy laws are choking chemical companies) and now here he is FUCKING OFF OUT OF THE UK to save himself money and cut off much needed revenue.

Hypocrisy is not a big enough word for this grabbing shitbag.

Another perfect example of sheer greed is James Dyson, he of the posh hoovers that you need to take out a fucking second mortgage to purchase, who also announced recently he is relocating his Head Office to the Far East to make ends meet as he is just a tad bit down on his luck with a net worth of only £5bn.

The icing on the cake is that both of these fuckers have been KNIGHTED of course. It is truly laughable, if it didn’t make you actually want to fucking scream that is.


Nominated by Nurse Cunty