Toilet Paper Hoarders

For my cunting debut, I nominate people who hoard toilet paper.

I just hit the last unit in an eight-roll package of toilet paper I bought during the Great Paper Goods Panic of early March, when the local grocery stores could not keep toilet paper (I believe you call it “bog roll”), paper towels, and facial tissues in stock.

The American public will sit placidly while their civil liberties are revoked and they are forced into a sort of neo-feudalist system, enforced by rampaging gangs of leftist twats.

All they ask is that a) they get a good cell phone signal and/or free wi-fi and b) that they don’t have to wipe their butts with their hands. (They need the cell phone to work so they can post pix of the giant supply of toilet paper, right after the pic of the corn muffin they are about to eat.)

Never mind the pandemic. These runs on basic supplies occur every time a moderately strong series of thunderstorms roll into the Northeast from Saskatchewan.

Adding insult to injury, when I purchased the eight-pack of Scott brand toilet paper (because it was the smallest option available) I felt like a cunt.

I don’t like feeling like a cunt.

So I issue a hearty cunting to all those bozos who fly into a blind panic when faced with the prospect of having to make alternative and temporary arrangements in the personal hygiene department.

Nominated by: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Cunt

IPSA (2)

IPSA very much deserve a nomination. After displaying their cuntery by giving MP’s yet another massive pay rise for doing even less than usual, IPSA are now telling MP’s that it’s ok for them to claim for Remembrance Day poppy wreaths on expenses. Well, I’m hear to tell MP’s that it no, it so fucking NOT OK!

Poppy’s and poppy wreaths are worn and laid at memorials as a sign of remembrance and thanks for all those who gave their lives in service of the UK. If you’re a highly paid, elected official who feels it’s entirely appropriate to have the taxpayer fund your act of virtue signalling (which is what it is with these cunts. If they actually cared about the armed forces, we’d be better paid, housed, fed and have all the equipment we need), then you do not deserve to be in office.

The wearing of a poppy is entirely voluntary. Nobody is forced to wear one. And along with the wreaths and wooden crosses, they don’t cost much. Especially if you’re an MP. It also doesn’t take much to show a little respect to the people we owe our freedom too (not that we’ve had much lately). To be fair, a lot of MP’s are criticising IPSA over this, and Labour bosses are telling MP’s that it would be a very bad idea to listen to IPSA. But in my opinion, IPSA needs serious, top down reform, because they are out of control, and I doubt they’re as independent as they like to say they are.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw 

Lewis Hamilton – The Musical (12)

Who needs a laugh in these dark dark times, uba cunt extraordinaire Lewis the cunt Hamilton world champion of cunts has decided to bless us all with with the ear fucking of a life time.

This fucking bell end of a cunt has decided to take a foray into the music industry and is on the verge of a debut album to torcher us all with, if watching the wanker making a cunt of himself regularly we now have to here all the bullshit that he is about to elaculate into the airwaves.

Strongly suspect its just going to be rehashed bollocks with slightly different lyrics [if you can call them that] the that cunt with the woolly bullet on his head Craig David, it was the only good thing Bo Selecta ever did was use that talentless prick for piss taking material.

Anyway i’m sure Lewis the cunt wont disappoint if piss taking material is required……he is the Formula 1 of cunts

Nominated by: Fuglyucker 

Cunts wearing masks

(Matt Suckcock forgets his mask and his own rules – DA)

Yep those ‘like being ordered what to do cunts’ are surrendering cunts and have the potential to switch sides in a war.

Crossing the road is risky and so is not wearing a mask some say…I say uncertainty and risk makes us feel truly alive and life is to be lived. So c’mon cunters live a little amd absorb some of my spirit of adventure and take some risks and don’t wear a mask.

If Covid 19 gets me at least the fans won’t remember me being aaaht and abaaaaaht with a damn mask on my face, no they’ll remember me as a cunt who would not be told what to do.

I’ve been to a few events etc lately and all these social distancing, mask wearing etc measures they are asking customers etc are a farce.

Live a little cunters…who wants to die as a careful cunt.

PS If you die of Covid 19 after my advice…I knew naffink abaaaaaht it.

Go fuck yourselves.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt 

Anneliese Dodds (2)

A hand-me-my-rubber-gloves-while-I-clean-behind-Steptoe’s-fridge cunting please for this raddled old trollop, simply because her whining voice, the shit that comes out of her mouth, and the sheer grimy look of the old bag really upsets my sensibilities.

There is a great collection of pictures of her on this BBC piece, which shows the sheer horror of this alleged woman:

Where to begin? The hair which looks as if it hasn’t seen comb or shampoo since childhood, the piggy little eyes, the big hooter, from which you can imagine candlesticks drooping down the nostrils, the thin-lipped mean looking mouth, which hides God knows how many dental catastrophes, black broken molars, and the passageway to appalling halitosis, the skinny neck looking like it has been filched from a 90 year old granny, smaller tits than Tom Daley, which doubtless droop thanks to her poor little kids having at one time having to put their mouths to the rancid organs. It is best not to dwell on the piss-stained knickers which doubtless reek of rancid quim juice, and round the back the numerous skidmarks. Like the old cunt herself, they get washed on an annual basis whether they need it or not.

This “woman”(?) – a former PPE student at Hilda College, Oxford, is only 42, and is profoundly disgusting to see. She ought to be ashamed of herself looking so antique. She has no sense of dress, cleanliness or pride. She is a hag. She looks like the end of the world. Even Mother Theresa looked in better nick when they lowered him into the coffin.

When you look at the old fucker, you can understand why some men are homosexual. The idea of fucking this rust-bucket incites nausea. It makes you wonder at the lack of standards of her “partner” (and what he looks like – nothing on earth I imagine)

How dare she and Dame Kweer have the arrogance to inflict this human turd on us.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs