Lynx Deodorant


I can’t bear to breathe in this shite. Every time I smell it, I feel as if my nose has been viciously assaulted. It makes me heave. Anyone over the age of 15 who wears this needs to be sectioned and attended to by the men in white coats. Why would anyone want to smell like a sweaty year 8 boy’s changing room anyway? The adverts depict a daft bloke intensely spraying himself in this shite while he is surrounded by a load of wimmin all clucking round him. What a load of cobblers. This shite may as well be called ‘human repellent’ because when one chooses to wear it, they won’t have anyone within a five mile radius of them. Lynx is an abomination and whoever continues to produce it is a cunt.

Nominated by, Jayniño


Womens tennis

I don’t know if Womens tennis has been cunted before and if it hasn’t it’s about fucking time it was.

I like to watch a good MENS tennis match but what the women serve up is absolute fucking dross. Thankfully Gigantor Serena Uppity Williams got a kicking in the final by the Kraut Kerber. Get this tho, 1 hour and five fucking minutes!!! Fortunately for the punters who no doubt had shelled a kings ransom for the privilege of watching the winner pick up £2.25 million notes and runner-up £1.25 same as the men got to see Djokovic and Nadal finish of from the night before.

Not only that but the first semi between Anderson and Isner went on for 6 and half fucking hours. Love it or loathe it you have to admit that is some going. So what about tarts tennis then, I’ve no doubt that any of them would struggle to face up to a game against a low ranked man or even a good wheel chaired man.

The money they get is fucking embarrassing and if they have got to continue to pay this stupid money they should at least make them help tidy up the place afterwards and help with doing the fucking dishes or something. Robbing cunts.

Nominated by Kendo Nag

Computer Game Addicts

If you have an unhealthy interest in computer games, you are not an addict. No, you’re an oxygen-stealing, waste of DNA cunt. Switch off your console, talk to people, get a girlfriend and get a job. If you want to get battlefield experience, join the Armed Forces. That said, they tend not to employ cunts.

Games developers are also cunts. These people are undoubtedly talented, but if they are diverted their energies into curing cancer or solving the world’s ills, we’d all be happier.

That computer gaming is now classified as an addiction is another sign of how snowflake cunts are dragging society down the pan.


Nominated by Sgt Maj Cunt

Key fobs.

I am going to nominate a key fob

Now I was given a key fob by an acquaintance. we all like to please and use the gift given.
I took my car down the car wash big mistake, next thing you know it’s tumbleweed time, they all fucked off leaving partially washed cars and yours truly high and dry with a dirty car.
However I must admit I did this on purpose after the first reaction at my local kebab shop.
Pulled up went in ordered my food , the guy at the counter spoke to the cook popped out the back for a fag and 15 minutes later no kebab and no staff.
The reason as far as I can tell would be my key fob.

It says “home office border agency” they are available on e-bay (item number listed below)<

However don’t buy one unless you are willing to wash your own car, have a barbeque and don’t like curry!

Nominated by Lord Benny

Gladstone Brookes ad

That menacing cunt who tells you to call Gladstone Brookes…..NOW…to see if you are owed some PPI money as a refund.

“Why” he asks in a hectoring tone “have you not contacted Gladstone Brookes?”

“Don’t you know there’s a time limit?” the cunt asks in his best ‘talking to the peasants’ who know fuck all voice.

Fuck off you smarmy cunt!

Nominated by ATTILA THE CUNT