The Liberal Democrats


A Busy-doing-nothing, deeply sincere and inclusive cunting please for the political party who is to the smack of firm government what Alan Carr is to heavyweight boxing – yes it’s the Lib-Dems, who, in an effort to prove how fucking pointless they are, has decided to put off their “leadership” election for a year (due to Coronavirus, they say, more likely there isn’t anybody good enough to take it up):

The current incumbent, as “acting” leader (though not acting very well) Ed Whatshisname, is up against dimwitted four eyed, EU worshipping fuckwit
Layla Moran (who yesterday whined that the government put “Brexit before breathing” as we wouldn’t subscribe to the EUs ventilator scam). The daft cow couldn’t lead the Monster Raving Looney Party as she is gravitas-free.

When will the sandal wearing, Archers worshipping, knit your own lentils supporters of this pointless party realise just how useless they are?

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Lisa Nandy (3)

A “for the many not the few” cunting please, for Labour leader wannabe, Lisa, she of the bouncing knockers and strangely alluring smile, who has “demanded” Boris “agree with the EU to delay Brexit”:

Lisa, darling, you could give me a soapy tit-wank any day of the week, but does she realise how pathetic and weak she makes herself – and the rest of us in Britain – sound?

Old Barnier has a touch of the lurgy and we have to not only mop his fevered brow (through all the Max Factor he plasters over his decrepit mug), but stop him feeling any more stress by doing what we should have done four years ago. If he is too old and ill to do his job, he should fuck off to retirement.

No doubt Qweer Charmer feels the same way, but he is too cowardly to admit it. Becky probably has no view – she doubtless enjoyed the partying last night before the pubs closed, and is suffering from disco minge this morning. Richard Burgeon or Dawn Butler will lick her clean when they arise from their pits.

I hate to say lovely Lisa is a cunt – but she is, not least for not realising how little relevance her tottering party is to anybody, except the three gurning bleeders who want to lead it (over the cliff if possible)

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga

Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga is a cunt, isn’t he?

God works in mysterious ways.

Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga, Archdiocese of the Catholic cunts in Poland, Chief Poobah of fairy Gobbledeegook, and wearer of ridiculous penguin hats recently said that Catholics should not only continue attending services, but also partake in the communion ritual. That means mingling with other credulous divits whilst also supping and slurping Jesus’s blood from the same, shared cup.

Whaat? How come? Well, because “Christ does not spread germs and viruses”.
Oh Lord, not another load of contaminated, soon-to-be-dead cunts. Yes, but acceptable as they’re Catholics. Let’s see how long those pews are chock-a for, shall we Andrzej?

Meanwhile in Rome, in a rather dramatic move, they’ve closed all the churches. Ah well. At least the kids will be safe.

Catholics: Whether they’re gullible cretins, choirboy-diddlers, ignorant mooks, or kiddie fiddlers, they’re always here to entertain us.

God was not available for comment because he doesn’t exist.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Sir Richard Branson

Now all of us on here know that Richard Branson is a complete cunt. However this time he has gone one step further and made the entire nation realise he is a 110% total CUNT. At this time of crisis, does this bearded bell end dip his hand in his pocket and save the well being of his workers? No, he pleads poverty and asks them to take unpaid leave. He has probably done this while getting a reach around from Lineker or Flabbott on his private Caribbean island.

My advice Dickie, is to get your hands into your pocket, sell your fucking island and pay your hard up staff. Or alternatively, make all of your businesses available to the NHS and key workers. I notice the Neville brothers have done just this and when this is over, you should be stripped of your knighthood and have it placed on the shoulders of the Nevilles, or any key worker who kept going and going to help others.

You are not some self made billionaire (I’ve looked it up. You are a privileged twat) you are mummy and daddy’s little boy and you are an embarrassment to this nation. Do us a favour Rich, if your islands got a 50m cliff, please jump off it at the earliest opportunity, you fucking shit, piss, wank CUNT.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Richard Branson is a bit of a vintage cunt, isn’t he?,He’s gone cap in hand to the government saying pity poor me, my business needs propping up for the price of, wait for it, £7.5 Billion!!!

Where one of the Neville brothers is paying his staff full wages and letting NHS staff stay for free at his hotels, Branson, the cunt who could easily with his vast wealth pay his staff, won’t.

I hope his business fucking flops, his staff find a better employer and he goes and stay on his island, probably staffed by young girls. Epstein was a friend of Branson, wasn’t he?

Nominated by Once a cunt always a cunt

‘Clap for Carers’ – Applause for the NHS

A cunting for those who stand outside clapping on command through peer pressure.

Some people can appreciate the NHS without clapping like a spastic, signalling their virtue like some attention-seeking cunt.

I don’t mind modifying my behaviour for common sense purposes, but that is pathetic.

Worse than the Ice Bucket Challenge. Worse than Pavlov’s dogs.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Whilst the time set aside to applaud the NHS is all very nice, I cannot help but think it is also bollocks in extremis.

Years and years…decades in fact of the NHS being slated, complained about, front line staff being chastised as inefficient and uncaring in a system that is, quite frankly, unworkable (Flo Nightingale would struggle with the fucker) Now, however, Joe Public have suddenly realised that the NHS are worthy of praise in the midst of a pandemic. I actually find it quite ridiculous, as well as deeply hypocritical.

They could have been praising them up until now. Why does it take a global crisis for people to suddenly see the NHS and its staff’s worth? Why the sudden applause? Because they are dealing with sick people? Newsflash: they have always done that. Because they are overrun and over-worked with the sheer number of sick people they are treating and trying to save? They have always done that too. Because they are working in tenuous conditions with limited means, limited staff and limited downtime? Yes, that’s right. they have always done that too.

But let’s now applaud them…..the staff who won’t even be listening to your pathetic clapping as they are too busy trying to save lives and keeping everything crossed that they will not become sick too.


Sorry if I cannot get enthused about this ‘recognition’ of the NHS. It all seems a bit after the fact to me.

Nominated by Nurse Cunty

Mawkish, sentimental, virtue-signalling bollocks. Do we have to keep demonstrating to health sector workers that we don’t despise them? And, of course, it costs nothing which, in my view, makes it worth nothing.

We all appreciate what health workers do, but here’s a thought – how about showing some solidarity with all the hospitality, retail and personal service sector workers who have lost, or are under threat of losing, their livelihoods? I don’t think any doctors or nurses will be losing their jobs over this. I do accept that one or two may lose their lives, like the 76 year old GP in Southend in today’s news, and that they put themselves in danger for our good, but this is part of what they do, as it is with the police, rescue services and military.

We’ll probably be expected to do this regularly in future now, like the obligatory two minutes silences for any newsworthy deaths. I hate attempts to emotionally cajole me into doing something I wouldn’t do of my own volition – Movember, Stoptober, dry Jan, children in need, sports relief, even new year’s resolutions. All a load of old wank.

Nominated by Harry Axwound