Cunt of the Year 2015

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Well the votes are in and the panel of adjudicators has carefully considered all the candidates for the prestigious title of “Cunt of the Year 2015”.

It was a close run thing and we were tempted to award the title to Islam after adding together all the votes for the religion, jihadists, Islamic State leaders and extremists but we thought that would be unfair because if we did that, then the title would have gone to the Conservative Party. Interestingly, however, David Cameron did not receive a single vote!

The Royal cunt was Prince Charles. Entertainment went unsurprisingly to Bono. Special mention must be made for Chris Spivey who was disqualified for only pretending to be a cunt and for ‘too much effort’.

In fact the title was a dead heat between Dianne Abbott and Jeremy Corbyn who received equal votes. In the end we decided that Abbott should get the award as the real cunts were the people who voted for Corbyn rather than the man himself…

So congratulations to Dianne Abbott who receives the award of a bar of COTY soap which, if the rumours are to be believed, she is desperately in need of.