Pudsey [3]

knitted rudolp

knitted chugger cunt

Yes it’s time to welcome the Prince of Chuggers, the legalised Robin Hood of BBC TV, the cunt of cunts – Pudsey the fucking bear!

Every year the Beeb roll out their pre-Christmas ‘charitee’ bash to raise millions from gormless pricks who donate money to watch the mind bogglingly tedious load of absolute shite that is Children in Need.

When my wife was deserted by her ex and left with a 18 month old child they were definitely in need. Nobody gave them fuck all for nothing and she had to work her arse off in some totally shitty jobs to put food on the table. That’s life. If you can’t support your kids, you shouldn’t be a parent – but then why bother when cunts like Pudsey give you money for fuck all – after deducting expenses of course.

I was once stopped going into work by a bloke with a bucket who said I couldn’t go in until I give Pudsey some of my hard earned. He needed to borrow that fucking eye bandage shortly afterwards…

Fuck Pudsey. Fuck Children in Need. Fuck the BBC. Put some decent programmes on, you lazy parasitic cunts!

Still, this year it’s on Friday 13th so with a bit of luck something will drop on Pudsey from a great height and rid us of the little turd!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Kanye West

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If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Kanye West, I would shoot Kanye West twice…

Funny to see all them wankstains at Glastonbury: all those white English folk singing along to Kanye Kunt’s set, and then all the furtive looks and awkwardness when it came to the ‘N’ word….

Nominated by: Norman

The Eurovision Song Contest

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Eurovision should be cunted… I should have a put a bet on the one legged bearded lesbian to win it though… Bucks Fizz were cunts, but Jay Aston looked as naughty as fuck… Bardot, from a year later in 1982, were even bigger cunts… And that hippy chick from 1983… A German singing ‘A Little Peace?’ Was she taking the piss?

Three thoughts on Eurovision:
1. That pile of crap almost makes me long for World War III…
2. A shame Russia didn’t win… Imagine Putin’s face when all those gays turned up…
3. If Nigella had got her tits out, the UK would have walked it…

And David De Gea’s bird is in this year’s Eurovision… No wonder he might fuck back off to Espana if he’s giving that one…

Nominated by: Norman

If they’d used my Eurovision song, they’d have pissed it!

Nominated by: Chas C

The usual crap offering from the UK, followed by the sycophantic voting for your neighbours, followed by the ritual humiliation of GB (because nobody in Europe likes us).

All presented by that sausage bandit Graham Norton..

Nominated by: Lez

Jungle Cunts

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FFS! 13 fucking series of this mind numbing shite and it’s still going! I give you “I’m a non-entity – get the fuck outta here!”

Rebeccan Addlington, Olympic swimming cunt; Steve Davis, has been snooker cunt; Kian Egan, has been Westlife singer cunt; David Emmanuel, Princess Di’s dress designing cunt; Joey Essex, who the fuck is this cunt? cunt; Annabel Giles, little known TV presenter cunt; Mo Harris, fat twat Eastenders cunt – what the fuck is her real name anyway?; Lucy Pargeter, kicked out of Emmerdale on her arse cunt; Alfonso Ribiero, unknown American actor cunt looking for a job; Vincent Simone, poncy dancing cunt; Amy Willerton, a cunt with big tits; Mathew Wright, daytime chat show cunt.

All a bunch of cunts trying to revitalise their flagging careers by making cunts of themselves by undergoing purile self inflicted humiliation in a cheap, crappy TV show.

Cunts in the jungle with Ant and Dec – two more cunts.

Who the fuck watches this shit anyway? They’ve gotta be brain dead or high as a kite to settle down to this shite every night and believe it’s entertainment! We’ve got to be the biggest cunts for watching it in the first place!

Nominated by: Dioclese