Womens World Cup

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FUCKING women’s World Cup!!!

Football, rugby, cricket – who fucking cares? Watch them, they’re shit in all three events. Don’t even get me started on tennis where the screaming cunts feel they should be paid the same as a man when they don’t even play the same fucking game. Best of three sets for £1m!!!! CUNTS!!!

As for the cunts that promote this shit all over the press and TV they should be ashamed of themselves. Stick to netball and hockey which are WOMEN’S sports or at a push golf where at least the women can compete to some degree with the men!!!

Nominated by: Cunty Cunterson

Apparently there’s a BIG GAME tonight? Not sure what because as far as I can see it’s just some cunts kicking a ball.

Literally.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Cunts on bikes

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If it’s not bad enough having cunts with footballs, now we have cunts on bikes. Literally.

Today we are blessed with the Women’s Tour fucking up our town. It was a pain on the arse last year, and it’s going to be a pain in the arse again this year. Mind you, I might be persuaded to take a gander if they were more like the picture rather than a load of over muscled sporty tarts in lycra. Lycra. On bikes. Never a good look when the bird in question has legs like a weightlifter.

Thankfully I’m on holiday so I’ll miss the whole shooting match. Excellent. Must make a note to go away the same time next year as well!

Nominate by: Dioclese

Chelsea FC

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Chelsea FC are cunts.

Has there ever been a more dull and boring title win during the Premier League era? This is like Celtic winning the SPL without any threat or competition.

Chelsea are the most boring league champions since George Graham’s Arsenal and their offside trap (I remember that classic VHS: ‘Arsenal – 100 Great 0-0 Draws’). I know my lot aren’t up to much at the moment, but I am glad Mourinho never came to Old Trafford. The football would have been negative as fuck.

The antithesis of Busby and The Doc. Mourinho would just have been a more arrogant Dave Sexton…

Nominated by: Norman

Lance Armstrong

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Lance Armstrong Is A Cunt

Sliding out of the twat of a gullible woman who either forgets or never knew the name of the demon who spawned this lying, bullying cunt, Lance Armstrong has succeeded in achieving several goals in his whole useless cunting life; giving bored cunts a reason to actually get excited about the world’s second most pathetic sport (after curling), cheating his ass off during seven Tours De France in that country full of arrogant short Napoleonic cunts, bullying poor cunts like Greg LeMonde and Betsy and Frankie Andreu when they told the truth about cheating in cycling and costing them millions in earnings, corrupting cunting cycling officials into busting other two wheel obsessed cunts like Floyd Landis for daring to cheat while on a team other than this evil cunt’s US Postal Service team that named after an dying, irrelevant bureaucracy that employs fat, useless cunts who regularly steal shit right from Americans’ mail, using Sheryl Crow as his emotional pillar while fighting nut cancer that this cunt gave himself after doping himself up with every performance enhancing drug known to man and beast, neglecting that same washed up cunt when she got cancer of her own, boning one of those emotionally fucked up Olsen twins with his one remaining nut, giving false hope to bald, vomiting kids in cancer wards and then spilling his guts to that overpaid and over-worshipped twat, Oprah Winfrey whose cunt probably looks like my wallet.

Nominated by: TIG

Football [2]

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I’d like to to cunt the “Anyone But United” football “fans”

Now I’m a Liverpool fan, have been since I was a little shite and this may come as a shock to you but I can’t stand all these fucking cunts who cheer when teams they don’t support score against United especially when they seem to cheer them more than they cheer their own fucking team.

I take no pleasure in United losing unless of course it’s Liverpool handing out the beating, I rarely bother with football anymore because of all these tossers, along with the overpaid fannies who now play the game, shite atmosphere at the stadiums and Sky’s constant peddling of the “greatest league in the world”.

Maybe I should just cunt football…

Nominated by: Mr Cunty Pants