Still Open All Hours

STILL OPEN ALL HOURS is complete load of fucking shit, it’s Last of the Summer Wine reincarnated – I want to rip my fuckin eyes out and fill my eye sockets with shit. All I can think is old cunt David Jason has a arrangements with a big Wig at the BBC to give him a programme to keep his pension topped up… It’s utter SHIT!!!!!!!

Nominated by Harry Balls

Andy Murray [11]


Andy Murray is DEFINATELY a cunt of the highest order. Is there, or has there ever been a more boring cunt in the history of sport?

I personally would rather watch the grass in my back garden grow than listen to that monotone fucking shitcunt drone on.

Nominated by: Mike Hunt



Modern porn is a cunt.

All plastic fuck bunnies with little regard for their own safety of self esteem. Who can forget the days of adventure, discovery and enlightenment of finding the old man’s stash of Mayfair at the bottom of the wardrobe when searching for your Christmas presents?

Even the arrival of the Gratham’s catalogue was only a swift hand shandy away from heaven.

Happy days…

Nominated by: Fat Rich

Internet Porn


Internet Porn deserves a damn cunting, I am old enough to remember the days when finding Porn on the Internet took all evening, 3 hours spent finding and downloading a video for free which looked half wank-worthy.

Even just browsing pictures took forever, waiting for the picture to display pixel by pixel!
Fast forward to today, fucking porn everywhere, petabytes of it in every deranged form you can imagine.

There’s a niche for everyone:

Looking for hairy Latina girls in glasses being bummed by Mexican immigrants? – You got it! sign-up today

Enjoy watching a woman crap honey out of her arse whilst dressed as Lois from Family Guy? – You got it! sign-up today

Can you only get off to lesbians masturbating for money whilst complaining about womens rights? – You got it! sign-up today

Fucking Internet Porn, it all blends in to one sea of shit and thus, deserves a cunting

Nominated by : Boaby


Anne-Marie Duff (Violet) and Carey Mulligan (Maud) in SUFFRAGETTE

That’s all we’ve had on telly for weeks now. “Suffragette” this and “Suffragette” fucking that, endless free-cinema-ticket-grabbing poncey critics fawning and raving about it, that and Daniel “Mega Cunt” Craig’s latest emasculated, warmed up leftovers Bond borefest which finally lurched drunkenly into theatres.

“Ooooh! Look how troubled and gloomy he looks, how intelligent and progressive this film is”. Yawn.

Thankfully Mrs B has expressed absolutely no interest in going to see Suffragette, maybe there is a God after all. There is however a disquieting rumour of a Downton Abbey movie (shudder!)…..

Nominated by: Mr Bastard