Bono [14]

Okay, okay, I know it’s a case of ‘been there, done that, bought the tee shirt’, but does this pompous, opinionated gobshite deserve yet another cunting, or what??

Not content with foisting his ponderous dirges on us for years, the short-arsed tax dodger continues to delude himself that he’s a player, a mover and shaker on the world stage, and that everyone outside his privileged little bubble actually gives a flying fuck for his opinions on anything.

Of late, the little turd’s being giving it out on the question of Europe. According to this self-styled visionary, ‘Europe is a grand, inspiring idea… the idea of Europe deserves songs written about it (just no, please no!!), and big, bright blue flags deserve to be waved about’. Yer man has indeed been doing just that at gigs, describing said flag waving as ‘a radical act’.

As further evidence of his progressive, social justice credentials, the wee tosspot dressed in a clown’s outfit at a recent concert in Paris, and called Swedish Democrats ‘Nazis’ (complete with a ‘Sieg Heil’ salute) for having the audacity to question their own country’s extremely liberal immigration policy.

In other news, we learn that the wankstain has recently met with Pope Francis at the Vatican, to discuss, as he told reporters afterwards, ‘themes that include the wild beast that is capitalism’. ‘The wild beast that is capitalism’. What a bunch of totally pretentious, up your own arse wank. Tell you what, Frankie boy, just grant the hypocritical arsehole’s secret wish, and make him Saint Bono immediately.

Recently U2 was forced to abandon a show in Berlin, when Cunto’s voice gave out temporarily. Personally, I would take it as proof positive of the existence of the Almighty were this temporary state to become permanent, and we were spared any more of his tedious, sanctimonious bullshitting.

Meanwhile, all we can do is look on the bright side. Bono; the gift to cunting that just keeps on giving.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Bono [13]

Bono has announced he would be flying the EU flag on stage in the forthcoming U2 tour, because waving it was now “a radical act”. This was momentous for me – it was the 100th time, exactly, since I started making notes in my desk diary, that Bono has done something that made me think ‘Jesus, what a c##t’.

And therefore thinking of starting a movement to make August 30, from now on, official World ‘Bono Is A Cunt’ Day.

People can mark this in different ways, according to their own personal experience of the Irish dwarven gobshite’s unbearable sanctimoniousness, balcony-playing liberalism and eye watering hypocrisy. You may for example like to pin banknotes to your shirt, in reference some of those comments on people needing to pay tax to help the poor, whilst Bono himself was maintaining offshore tax haven accounts for all the royalties from his whining, recycled-Radio 2-rock sales to clueless local authority traffic office workers and regional double glazing sales managers. Or you might carry the flag of any of the half arsed Third World regimes that the cunt in question has come out in support of, over the years, usually just before they started arresting their opponents. Or you could wear tinted glasses indoors at night. Like an absolute cunt.

I think this could really catch on.

Nominated by Rural Cunt

To add on to Rural Cunt’s excellent first cunting, Bono is a monumental Mount Rushmore monolithic cunt…

If that tax dodging pontificating hypocritical Paddywood and Potatoland gobshite, Bonio, says one more thing about Brexit and Britain leaving the EU… Doesn’t the multimillionaire bogtrotting gnome cunt realise, it is a British matter?… That the British people voted for it?… It is nothing to do ‘wid Oi-urlund’ and even less to do with ivory tower tax dodging celebrity areslicking gobshites like him… So I suggest old dog biscuit and his horrendous mastiff-esque wife fuck off to one of their tax havens (Amsterdam and Monte Carlo being just two of them) and leave British business to British people… Savvy, you bogtrotting cunt?…

Nominated by Norman

Bono & U2

Now there’s so much to say about Bono and the rest of his band…

We could look at the fact that ‘Bono’ basically means ‘good voice’, but I find that quite modest for a man who prances about like a walking incarnation of God. We could also look at how Bono brags about being such a humanitarian hero, while being too selfish to pay his taxes to the country he thinks he owns. But, the other week he and the rest of U2 topped all that. They went to record in Abbey Road studios, and only went and fucking stood on the abbey road crossing.

Bono thinks he can stand where John Lennon stood? And some cunt who calls himself ‘The Edge’ in George Harrison’s place? These egotistical cunts are barely worthy of breathing the same air the Beatles breathed, never mind replicating their iconic album cover. Bono probably thinks they’re already bigger than the Beatles to be honest. After all, a band fronted by God himself is a pretty rare fucking sight to behold. Plus, it’s not like John Lennon ever did anything to help people, right..?

Bono is truly one of a kind. And then there’s the guilt-inducing ‘thank God it’s them instead of you’ from Band Aid, from a man who looks down upon everyone else, and spends the money he should pay as taxes, on making out like he’s changing the world. Also the irony in God himself telling people to ‘thank God’ is quite something.

In summary, Bono is a cunt. ‘The Edge’ is a cunt. U2 are cunts.

Nominated by LG1994

And lest we forget this classic moment :

Musical bog trotters

I see those bogtrotting hypocrites, Slob Geldof and U2 are at it again… Apparently the smelly one and the taxdodging dadrockers have condemned Aung San Suu Kyi for having the nerve to deal with the peaceful cunts in Burma… Someone should tell these thick village idiots that the Burmese don’t want any rapes, murders, or terrorism from these parasites in their own backyard… Simple as that… Mind you, I don’t even think these Irish cunts would even be arsed if the muslamists committed an atrocity in Dublin… They’d either be too busy appeasing the murderers or living it up in their tax havens… Cunts…

And, of course, Bono and his cunts have bigged up Aung San Suu Kyi for years… She was their ‘virtue signaling mascot’ for a long tine… But now she’s committed the heinous (to celebricunts) crime of daring to stand up to the peaceful cunts, Bonio and his pals have chucked the toys out of the Amnesty International pram… Cunts…

Nominated by Norman

My cuntometer went off the scale today, triggered by that cunt Bob Geldof. It was as though his tired, stroppy rebel act wasn’t wearing enough or the spectacle of he and his cunty tosser rich pals hurling puerile abuse at British fishermen from a boat on the Thames last year. Then just today, he managed once again make my blood boil in a way not seen since his dull as dishwasher one hit in the 1980s where he whined tastelessly about some school shooting or other. The cunt is “protesting” the Burmese president by handing back his Freedom of the City of Dublin award. Gee Bob, the Burmese president is quaking in her Gucci shoes at your bravery. Hey Bob, you cunt of cunts, why not put your ill gotten gains where your mouth is. Cunt!

Nominated by Slack Alice

Bono [12]

Bono is a premium cunt…
We all know about the immense legacy of cuntitude this buffoon has behind him:

Giving speeches on green issues, then having a hat (a fucking hat!) flown across the world first class on a Jumbo Jet….

Using his vast wealth to pursue and ruin former employees in the high court over a pair of trousers….

Going on about ‘Make Poverty History’ and all that finger clicking shite, then blowing 250 grand on a ‘party’…

Appearing at every UK political party conference during General Election campaigns, when he’s Irish and UK politics has fuck all to do with him…

Pontificating about Brexit and how ‘wrong’ it is (again, fuck all to do with rich Bogtrotters)…

Tells the ‘riff-raff’ to dig deep for those lost cause Africans, when he has luxury houses in Dublin, New York, Barbados, Malibu, Amsterdam, and Monte Carlo…

And now the piss de resistance… After years of telling the ordinary working man and woman what to do with their hard earned cash, this cunt has been rumbled for tax dodging and ‘investing’ in a Lithuanian Arndale Centre… The whole thing smells worse than a Pakistani wrestler’s jockstrap fried in two week old chip fat…

He really is the Crème de la cunt…

Nominated by Norman