TFI Friday

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Just when you thought TV was taking a turn for the better with axing ‘The Voice’ some gormless cunt decides to bring back ‘Oh Fuck It’s Friday’…

Chris Evans – a cunt who has been sacked more times by the BBC than Clarkson and that’s saying something – is clearly running short of dosh and not content with bolloxing up Top Gear, he’s going to subject us to more of this mindless fucking drivel. Christ help us!

Yes, all the old shit is there – including Freak or Unique and Baby Left, Baby Right and It’s Your Letters. The only good thing about this tripe is that Evans insists it’s the last time he’ll do it – he’s so busy with Top Gear and the BBC Breakfast Show (from which he was sacked twice for not showing up). And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything!

Is there anybody out there who doesn’t think Chris Evans is a solid gold, weapons grade, self centred, carrot topped, egotistical, good for nothing piece of ubershit? If so, you’re a cunt too!

Nominated by: Dioclese

John Prescott [5]

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This self-described “Proud Welshman” who has spent most of his life in England feels free to comment on how England should be governed, despite his insistence that “there is no such thing as English nationality”. Prescott, throughout his time in government and since then has been a leading advocate of devolution for the “regions” i.e. the effective abolition of one of Europe’s historic nations – England.

So despite not being born here he feels free to dictate how my nation is governed, and yet despite having made his life (and money) in England he is one of the most rabid Anglophobes in the land. In short, “Thumper” Prescott is a typical Celtic hypocrite – keen enough to leach off England when it suits, yet has a deep sense of loathing to the nation that has enriched him.

So my message to Prescott – and all of you Welsh, Scots and Irish living in my country – is to fuck the hell out of England. And if you do wish to continue living here, you keep your damn mouths shut and your heads down, you fucking Celtic Anglophobe cunts.

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Glen Frey

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Glen Frey is a super cunt…

Now I’ve always heard that Frey (and Don Henley) aren’t the pleasantest of men, but that ‘History Of The Eagles’ documentary puts the tin hat on it. Henley comes across as a bit of an arse (with some good points), but Frey is a cunt of the highest order. Doing his acting like a 10 year old “I’ll get you after school routine” on Don Felder, and treating Felder like dirt and firing him. Telling Joe Walsh and Timothy . B. Schmit not to speak to Felder any more (or they’re fired too!). Claiming he should have a bigger slice of the Eagles financial pie than Walsh, Felder etc because his solo career was more successful than any of theirs.

Solo career? “The Heat Is On”? Absolutely laughable: it’s shite and it’s a track that is too naff even for Alan Partridge. Yep. Frey is a bully, a moneygrabbing twat who rides on the talent of Henley and Walsh (and Felder), and he’s a dictator and a total cunt!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Germaine Greer

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Germaine Greer is going off on one again, rambling on about how with online porn and internet trolls women have never had it so bad…

Yes, the silly dried out old cunt thinks women, with their longer lifespans, better education, superior healthcare and reduced likelihood to suffer violence have it worse now than they did 100 years ago! This daft old cunt thinks the advent of internet porn (the old cunt should be pleased men have another outlet instead of real cunts…) and twitter trolls (aww, did the nasty man call you a bad name? Cunt) the web has become a “forum for the loathing of women”.

No Mzzzz Greer, I don’t loathe women, I loathe saggy, cunty old hypocrites like you, who will label all men as raging child rapists yet will publish a book extolling the “beauty of the pre-adolescent male” (check out Germaine Greer’s The Beautiful Boy if you don’t believe me, a book that, in Greer’s own words is “full of pictures of ‘ravishing’ pre-adult boys with hairless chests, wide-apart legs and slim waists”.)

So if you don’t mind, shut your mouth, keep your head down, and go back to your gardening you bitter, stupid, withered old cunt.

And for fuck’s sake put some makeup on…

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

( …and some clothes FFS! Ed. )