Big Brother

With the changing of the seasons comes the latest incarnation shitshow, one of the founding members of the accursed reality TV movement. Like some kind of hideous fucking zombie, almost light years past its sell-by date, this abomination keeps being resurrected to cater for the absolute detritis of society. Avid viewers and cuntestants alike are amongst the most extreme examples of look-at-me fame-hungry shitcunts you will ever see.

The accompanying post-goatfuck analysis show (BB/CBBotS) is fronted by ubiquitous shirtlifter celebrity-worshipper in-chief, Rylan ‘2 by 4 Veneers’ Clark-Neal, who as a fame whore and former winner, neatly encapsulates the utterly appalling vacuity and superficial idiocy which has gripped the West in a seemingly never-ending radioactive cunt-fallout, caused by the colliding nuclear warheads of both Reality TV and Social Media. The resulting barren, post-apocalyptic cunt landscape is now filled with people who believe they are 24/7 on some personal audition for Big fucking Brother.

Only Channel 5 could so enthusiastically get behind a played-out, asanine bag of fermenting excrement such as this. Even amongst the infinite, nightmarish expanse of such bollocks television, BB/CBB stands out as being probably the most cancerously vapid example. And all this without even mentioning the fucking monumental wankstain who has spent the last 18 years embelishing his Geordie accent on the programme’s voiceovers.

One of my all time fantasies involves a BB ‘challenge’ where a Siberian Tiger, suffering from both malnutrition and advanced stages of Rabies, is let loose in the house to gorge, maul and maim the fucking simpletons inside. Perchance to fucking dream, friends…

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back