Formula One

Since we’re on the subject of sport, I’ve been watching the f1 testing this week. Looks like Mercedes are going to walk away with it. AGAIN!

Can’t tell just from the testing but f1 needs a cunting anyway.

FORMULA ONE

How does this sound?

We’re going to get some of the best minds on the planet to build the fastest possible cars.

We’ll spend billions to build purpose built race tracks all around the world that will test the drivers and machines to the very edge of their capabilities.

We’ll take the very best drivers in the world and have them race each other at over 200mph!

Sounds exciting doesn’t it!

Well it isn’t.

What cunts.

Nominated by DeploytheSausage

Bernie Ecclestone [3]

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Bernie Ecclestone pays a German Court $100m to end a trial at which he faced charges of bribery, but “denies wrongdoing”. You couldn’t fucking make it up, could you?

As I recall, the late Michael Jackson paid off a family who accused him of sexually molesting their young son. The sum was around $25m, I believe, and of course Jackson also denied any wrongdoing.

Had funds allowed, I’m sure Myra Hindley is another one who would have liked to write a cheque and deny wrongdoing.

But Ecclestone is elevated to a special league of cuntsmanship by virtue of the enormous sum involved. The shrivelled, scrotal, cunt-haired little dwarf deserves the full Mussolini treatment, as does his rancid chav cumbucket daughter.

Nominated by: Fred West

Bernie Ecclestone [2]

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Bernie Ecclestone. On trial for bribery. His defence is that he paid someone off so they wouldn’t tell HMRC that he evaded 2 billion pounds of taxes. Oh, that’s ok then.

I have to wait 15 days to see if HMRC will restore the extra 3k tax free allowance I am entitled to will get reinstated. If they don’t, I will start my own formula 1 series, that’ll learn them

Nominated by: They’re all at it!

Serial liar, dodgy deal maker and corrupt little cunt, Bernie has been called all of these things and more (little prick, bite sized bastard ect ect.) The truth of these matters pertaining to his involvement in Formula 1 and other tax matters is being decided in a German court. It is alleged that the little cunt has run Formula 1 motor racing as a personal money machine for over forty years. He started as a used car salesman and failed small scale driver and then went on to control every aspect of the “sport”. He couldn’t get it up so he took it over.

Bernie has trousered a vast fortune out of controlling the rights and merchandising of the richest sport in history. Along the way he has accumulated the biggest unpaid tax bill in history, in the region of £2 billion. Way to go little man.

He manages his affairs through a family slapper trust called Bambino although he maintains he has no connection with it and the fact that it sounds like the name of a mafia crime family is purely coincidental. Kind of the trustees then, all of whom are personal associates, to buy a vast mansion in Kensington (and the most expensive house in London) for his wife. Now divorced, he receives £100,000,000 a year from her as part of the divorce settlement. How very civilised.

This poor slandered and misrepresented 5′ 3” mini-cunt with a barnet like an old slag’s fanny is reputed to be worth in excess of £3.8 000,000,000. That’s right, nothing cheap about this blog, we give you all nine zeros for free.

On his way in to court Bernie was observed to be driving himself. He had a racing steering wheel stuck down the front of his trousers. When he turned it to the left he hopped to the left. When he turned it to the right he hopped to the right. However when he got to the court, security roughly pulled it out. Bernie turned to the Kraut judge and said wiping the tears from his eyes, “I thank the court for removing that steering wheel. It was driving me nutz.”

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke