Baby on board stickers

Another thing which riles my shit are these cunting stupid “Baby on Board” stickers in car windows. Loosely translated it means “I’m the only woman in the world to have a child…My other half is a limp wristed hipster cunt who keeps his bollocks in my handbag and my child is the centre of the solar system and you WILL move out of the way”. Cuntish behaviour illustrated.

I put it to people like that, that I don’t give a well-rounded first wank if there’s a “Baby on Board”. What cuntish difference will that make to me? Bugger all. What’s next? “Second Cousin Thrice Removed Inbred Weirdo Shit-Slurping Mong Farrier on Board”. What a load of Generation Snowflake, Entitlement-Era mule shit.

Nominated by: TwatVarnish

Famous, Rich and Homeless

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Why on earth do we need Willy Thorne to tell us that the homeless have got it fairly tough? Have we all been taken in that they’re living the high life but choose to drink White Lightning due to the recession?

Don’t get me wrong, I have quite harsh ideas on the homeless and think a percentage of them are stupid/selfish cunts, but I’m not blind to their hardships. Waste of fucking time and a poor excuse for a programme.

Bet them cunts are getting paid too.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

Apparently this was all done for Sport Relief (another load of fucking overhyped pointless cherriteee crap!).

Apart from yobs ( e.g. skinhead football fans from the Shed end ) going round the street playing ‘kick a vagrant’ can anyone explain to me what the fuck this has to do with sport?

Another amazingly pointless and bad taste program from and an increasingly pointless BBC…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

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Maharishi Mahesh Yogi – what a cunt!

I don’t trust those indian guru cunts and a lot of them fiddle small boys. That whole Transcendental Meditation sounds like a load of shite. I’m surprised the beatles bought into it, especially George. BTW I think the Beatles best music came from drug use that’s more or less a fact. Although I agree with the inflated egos and peace loving crap that part ruined it for me. Also hogging the spotlight and being dumb cunts.

Nominated by: Titslapper

Adam Henson

Two cocks for the price of one!

Two cocks for the price of one!

Adam Henson of Adam’s Farm/Countryfile IS A CUNT!

Not because he’s ginger I hasten to add, but that does nothing to help his cuntishness. It’s his incredible ability to bore the living arse off every man, beast, fowl and insect in every square meter of countryside. His irritating energy and enthusiasm, dressed in what looks like Man At C& A- Autumn wear circa 1985. His annoying habit of continually chattering as he hurls straw bales about for no other reason other than it probably makes him feel more rugged.

Smacking the arse of one of his Hereford Bullocks with an ‘Isn’t she a beauty’, and then carting her off to be slaughtered, the sandy skin toned callous bastard’s unrelenting eagerness never wanes. I swear that in one edition of Countryfile I saw one of his prize bullocks look at him as if to say ‘YOU GINGER TOSSER!’

Of course I am ignorant being a city dweller, and I know nothing about farming. I am sure Mr Henson would give me a good dressing down if he were to read this post. But I still think he’s a bit of a cunt! And I trust there will be plenty who would agree with me. Despite him being labelled the ‘Nation’s Favourite Farmer’.

Nominated by: Chris McMillan

Fifty Shades Of Grey

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Fifty Shades Of Grey (the film, the book, the crabby old minger who wrote it, and anything else connected with it) deserves a monumental cunting…

How this load of sick shite has become a phenomenon and ‘news’ shows how much of a backward shithole Britain has become. And the silly slags who are into it: how is a sadistic pervert and rapist sexy and heroic? And since when was it acceptable to abuse women in mainstream culture?

What makes me laugh is the silly bitches who read it and wet their bloomers over the film will doubtless complain endlessly about how their husbands, boyfriends and other men are ‘Bastards’ and ‘Pigs’. Yet they’ll do a Kit Kat Shuffle over some fictional sadist. Do they also get off on how female prisoners were treated in Nazi concentration camps too?

I tell you, lads: some women really are the dark side of the fucking moon…

Nominated by: Norman

…and let’s not forget the sequel

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