Cinema advertising

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May I offer cinema adverts as a cause worth cunting?

I went to the pictures this afternoon and due to the misleading timing information provided by the good people at Vue, I had to sit through what seemed to be hours of cunting adverts. As I’m guessing that most people fast forward through adverts at home, I feel very irritated at being forced to sit through these before I could see the film I’d paid to watch.

And every advert was fucking wank. Without exception.

Nominated by: Guardian Hater

( Yes! You really can get a rivetting DVD of old Pearl & Dean cinema ads. It’s on my Christmas list! Ed. )

Flies [2]

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I’d Like to cunt flies. Flies are fooking cunts.

I have recently tried to quit smoking(300 times and counting) recently it’s been 36 hours since my last puff then with a fuck of luck a fly enters my bedroom and just starts terrorizing the hell out me buzzing by my face landing on my knee, being itchy because of it. Just being a allround cunt making me wanna light up again so I’m back smoking again hooray for that.

I swear I hope get the bastard alive because gonna dissect the fucker’s wings one by one. Flys are cunts absolute CUNTS!

Nominated by: Titslapper

I can’t stand files. They fucking hang around and always seem to want to fly near you when the cunts have the whole room to fly around in. What pisses me off more is when you are relaxing watching the telly and one starts flying near you, you then have to get up and open the window and try to get the Cunt(s) out and its like they do not want to fuck off, they fly everywhere but out the fucking window.

Horrible little cunts who like shit.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Barbara Windsor [3]

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I know that most people consider Barbara Windsor a ‘national treasure’, but most people are fucking wrong. What she is, is an annoying, talentless, mockney shitbag, with all the charm, wit and charisma of a rotting corpse. She ruined ever Carry On film she was in with her shite acting and her annoying laugh. And will fucking despise the bitch to my dying day because of that. What the fuck did Sid James see in her?

I’ve never watched Eastenders, so she really didn’t get on my nerves during tenure on that show. But she annoys me greatly in those shitty Jackpot Joy adverts. On their own they’re bad enough, but with this ancient harpy in them they take shite down to a whole new level. Since the ridiculous twat shows no signs of pegging out any time soon, I have no choice but to nominate her for a cunting.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

John Hammond

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John Hammond is an annoying little cunt.

This prancing, preening, cocky little twat is being pushed forward (it would seem) as the “face of BBC weather”, being put up to present every feature about the weather on the BBC news. What an ugly little troll of a face it is too, good only for a prolonged spell as a stand-in punchbag. Watching this annoying little cunt, and worse hearing his thin whiny voice is bad enough, but his intonations (“brrrrright and breezy”, “it’ll be a bright, crisssssspp day”) and the annoying way he keeps smacking his lips together before every bloody sentence is the worst.

Add to that his hand movements (creepy in the extreme if you ask me) and the way he almost bounces around as he presents the same boring weather as yesterday and you have a little fanny hole of a annoying little cunt that makes my blood boil every time I see him.

Get that creepy, lisping little cunt off my TV BBC!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Ian Hislop

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Ian hislop is a smug right up his arse know if all annoying twat.

Cunt has more chins than a Hong Kong phone book and a self claimed knowledge base challenged only by Stephen Fry.

I cannot see that or understand why, he has been spared the cunting he deserves.

My news for u? You’re an annoying cunt, Hisplop.

Nominated by: King Cunt

…and the cunt nicks stuff off my blog and doesn’t answer e-mails.

Nominated by: Dioclese