Daytime TV Presenters

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Daytime TV Presenters. Not any old TV presenters, not evening or weekend TV presenters, but weekday daytime TV presenters.

The quantity of cuntage crammed into daytime lifestyle/magazine/quiz/panel shows is truly stupefying. For a start you’ve got all those bitter, menopausal witches on Loose Women, then you’ve got Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby on This Morning (and their seasonal replacements Fatboy Eamonn Holmes and his wife), Martin Roberts (cunted previously) and Lucy “Suzi Quatro” Alexander on Homes Under The Hammer, plus the likes of Matthew Wright, Jeremy Kyle, Alan Titchmarsh, Nick “There isn’t a job I’ll turn down” Knowles, Aled Jones and Jules Hudson (previously cunted) from Escape To The Cuntry, and, on a particularly bad day, you may even get Paul O’Grady on daytime too.

The cunts should be cunted en masse and preferably gassed en masse too. The world would be a brighter place with all Daytime TV Presenters obliterated.

Nominated by: Fred West

National Treasures

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A cunt by any other name…

I hope everyone realises that the rest of the nation plays ‘Is A Cunt’ but has a different name for it. Everyone else calls it “National Treasures”. Think of all the people routinely referred to as “national treasures” – Stephen Fry, Sandi Toksvig, Miranda Hart, Alan Titchmarsh, even Morrissey, for fuck’s sake.

CUNTS! CUNTS! CUNTS!

Nominated by: Fred West

Cliff Richard, “Sir” Elton John, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Clarkson and now that cunt who plays Sherlock (Jeremy Brett is ‘the’ Sherlock Holmes and Tom Baker is ‘the’ Dr. Who, so the BBC can fuck right off!).

Then of course there is there are the national treasures of the arsewipe tabloid press and the riff-raff who read them: The Beckhams, Katie “any which way you can” Price, Simon Cowell, Noel Gallagher (and his cunt of a brother), Peter Kay, Cheryl Cole, Wayne and Coleen Rooney…

The national treasure cunt quota in Britain is now massively high…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

The biggest cunt of a National Treasure of them all : Helen Mirren – a woman so far up her own arse she meets herself coming back the other way!

Nominated by: Dioclese