Category Archives: Advertising Standards Authority

Tasteless advertising

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I was in the middle of watching Deadliest Catch (crab fishing in the Bering Sea) when the ads. came on. Imagine my genuine horror and disgust when Jenny Eclair appeared up to explain how uncomfortable it was to have a dry and itchy vagina. The shameless harridan then had the gall to recommend Vagiel to ease the symptoms. Fuck me,a picture of Jenny Eclair,ankles round the back of her head,rubbing cream into her (undoubtedly) foul sugar-walls popped into my head…..I’m genuinely traumatised,as are the poor dogs who fled as my roar of pain and anger rattled every window in Fiddler Towers. Spilled my Bushmills and tipped the fucking ashtray in a desperate grab for the fucking remote.

Why put an ad for diseased fannies on during a programme which I can’t imagine appeals to many women? Why have that revolting old hag advertising the muck?…..Gemma Arterton I could have lived with…even enjoyed,but Jenny fucking Eclair?

It’s a bloody disgrace and I plan to complain, in the strongest possible terms,to the Advert Watchdog just as soon as this stomach-churning image has faded from my mind and allowed me to convey to the bastards just how strong my feelings are about this obnoxious episode.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Mad Men

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How-to-start-an-advertising-agency

I’d like to nominate the people who make tv commercials as a bunch of irritating condescending lying cunts.

They aim to appeal to those with the least intelligence because they’re the easiest to manipulate. Either they’re using someone’s voice that I can’t stand, like Brian Blessed, or they choose to play some pop song that I find particularly annoying. For some peculiar reason they’re obsessed with showing close-ups of bare feet, as though this would persuade you to go out and buy whatever it is that they’re advertising. The only thing it makes me want to buy is socks and shoes to cover them up. They have no scruples about telling you about how healthy some food product is, although it tastes like shite and will probably set you on the road to diabetes.

The Advertising Standards Authority proudly proclaims that it is a self-regulatory and non-statutory organisation and cannot interpret or enforce legislation. So what fucking use is it? Cunts.

Nominated by: Allan