Tom Watson

Emergency cunting for lard boy Watson. I know it’s pretty much a given that if you’re going to Glastonbury you have to dress like a cunt, but Watson has really plumbed new depths of sartorial cuntitude as the photo above bears witness. Look at the ludicrous three-quarter length jeans with the exceptionally low-slung crotch (I’m guessing the inside leg measurement can only be around 9 inches), the slip-on casual shoes that look like they’ve been ordered from those little catalogues that fall out of Sunday newspapers, and the flattering powder blue short-sleeved polo shirt: surely only a monumental cunt would be seen in public dressed like this. But for me, it’s the choice of hat that screams “NO ONE IS A BIGGER, FATTER CUNT THAN ME” – didn’t The Beverley Sisters wear caps like this in the 1960s? And as MailOnline might say, “The Deputy Labour Leader flaunts his flab by daring to go bra-less at Glastonbury”…

Nominated by Fred West.

Matthew Wright

I would like to nominate rubber-faced Golum tribute act and born-again liberal ex-hack Matthew Wright for a monumental cunting.

This fuck-faced fucker continues to chug along on his shitty C5 show, playing the infuriating devil’s advocate like only an ex-journo cunt can. I caught part of his show on Monday, obviously straight after the London Bridge terrorist attacks. One of the phone-ins was about, inevitably, terrorism and whether Treeza’s ‘enough is enough’ speech was justified. One caller – Sarah I think – rightly stating that security of UK nationals comes first, ISIS and associated hate the free West… you know, actual common sense.

But Matthew Wright, cuntlord that he is, justifies these fuckers wanting to blow us up because of Libya. Except, you fucking hideously malformed eunuch, ‘peacefuls’ were blowing us up before that. And there is always an excuse. The truth is these fuckers want to see the destruction of anything not adhering to their warped book of fairytales and associated fuckery.

Aside from all that, Matthew Wright has built up a solid list of cuntship over the years. From wrongly outing John Leslie (himself a cunt, but nevermind) as Ulrika Johnson’s rapist, to asking his backward studio audience whether they would ‘do’ Amanda Knox (right after the death of Meredith Kercher), to joking about dead teenagers (Liam Aitchison) – notwithstanding his daily spiel on his PoS show, pretty much anything he utters from his malformed fucking mouth is worthy of a cunting. Surrounding himself with subserviant fucktards like ex-Emmerdale actors, John Barnes and Janet Ellis, this jug-eared abomination is truly a cunt for the ages.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

[What do you mean “wrongly” outing John Leslie?? – Ed]

Dead Pool [61]

We have a winner!

Congratulations to Dioclese for correctly predicting that Peter Sallis would be next to depart.

So the slate is wiped clean and nominations are now open for Dead Pool 61.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open in this thread only.

Good luck!

 

Fred West’s Nominations:

Clive James

Denis Norden

Liz Dawn

Leslie Philips

George A. Cooper

Paddy Ashdown

Emergency cunting for political has-been Paddy Ashdown who has been telling audiences at the Hay Festival that he is “horrified by parallels between post-Brexit UK and 1930’s Germany”. Never one to steer clear of ludicrous hyperbole, the cunt Ashdown also referred to the “£350m a week to the NHS” lie/pledge/suggestion on the side of the Brexit Bus as something that “Goebbels might have dreamt up”. This is the political equivalent of that emotive (and equally fallacious) criticism that anything someone wants to dismiss as morally indefensible is “like rape”: just as that kind of cuntish remark trivialises the experience of genuine rape victims, I’m sure there are plenty of residents of 1930’s Germany who would beg to differ with Ashdown’s crass, manipulative and knowingly false comparison. Hasn’t he got a secretary to shag…?

Nominated by Fred West.

Dead Pool [60]

We have a winner!

Congratulations to Bastard Well Bastard for correctly predicting that John Noakes would be joining Shep in that great Blue Peter Garden in the sky.

So the slate is wiped clean and nominations are now open for Dead Pool 60..

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. Good luck.

 

Fred West’s Nominations:

Clive James

Denis Norden

Liz Dawn

Leslie Philips

George A. Cooper