The Modern Man at the Bar

Modern man at the bar

Took the mrs out last night to see some stand up and went for a post gig drink. There was a cunto (the collective noun for a group of men with sleeve tattoos and wanky haircuts) at the bar in front of me. No problem a quick order of five scoops and the cunto will be out of my way. But no one by one each of these twats ordered one beer for themselves and paid for it by card. Get a fucking round in you wankers. You are supposed to be mates but this behaviour just left me shaking my head. Left in disgust, went to another nearby pub, saw a middle aged colleague at the bar who just asked without hesitation what you having? He bought the mrs one as well. I of course returned the favour and we move on. Modern man at the bar get a fucking grip, get your cash out and buy a fucking round for your so called mates. They may then just do the same for you.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Simone O’Brion

A major cunting for Simone O’Broin, a supposed lawyer who went into a drunken rant on a flight from Mumbai to London, swearing and threatening the cabin crew because they would not give her more wine. The silly slag was arrested at Heathrow, not sure what’s happened since. Google it and see for yourself.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Dominic Grieve MP [4]

Dominic Grieve M.P.

A Blair-sized cunting fit for a queen please for this odious, oleaginous slimy heap of shit Dominic Charles Roberts Grieve, QC , aged 62 but with the body of a man of 95, and the truculent mind of a 12 year old girl.

Dom – or may I call him Charlie (and why *Robert* in the plural? – if it was Richard, then two dicks would be appropriate). Anyway Charlie, former Solicitor General (and no doubt pissed off his career has since sunk without trace thank god, has, poisonous toad that he is, made it impossible to get a No Deal Brexit, and has ingratiated himself so well with the remoaners even pansy Labour members are quite happy to lick his arse.

Beaconsfield Conservative Party should tell the inept old cunt to fuck off out of parliament, get his wig out again and go and suck the dicks of the High Court judges where his ugy face won’t have to be seen daily in the papers and TV. What a motherfucker this senile old fool is.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Richard Scudamore and the Premier League

Scudamore & the Premier League

I’ve just seen on Al-beebra that outgoing PL Executive Chairman Richard Scudamore could be in line for an eye-watering 5mill. farewell bonus, paid for by the 20 PL clubs.

Mr ’39th Game’ Scuntamore is reportedly on 2.5mill. a year, and no doubt will have a fat pension lined up to boot. Nevertheless his pal Bruce Fuck (sorry Buck) of Chelsea FC is asking clubs to stump up 250k apiece to bankroll the cunt’s mink-lined retirement plan.

This comes at a time when many lower league clubs struggle to survive financially. At a time when PL clubs regularly maintain that budgets are planned well in advance, and that there’s little surplus cash around from telly rights deals, the most recent bringing in the paltry sum of just 5.14bill. Supporters seem unimpressed. Fans are continually pissed about by fixture changes to suit the said deal, and are said to be ‘strongly opposed’ that clubs might contribute to line an already wealthy cunt’s pockets.

During my working life my ‘reward’ from my employers was my salary. That was it as far as they were concerned. Upon retirement I got a card and some gifts paid for by my colleagues. Scuntamore has been very well paid over the years,so why a fat farewell payoff as well? To my way of thinking, this is a classic case of a bunch of rich cunts looking after one of their own.

Scuntamore has played a large part in turning the beautiful game into the stinking loadsamoney pig trough we know and love today. Of course, he might play the white man and donate the cash to aid development of grassroots football, or perhaps to MacMillan Cancer Support, in which case I’ll be the first to shout ‘well done’ and applaud. I’ll wait until I see it. If he trousers it, I’ll organise another whipround myself via IsAC. There’s just one problem. I’ve got a large box but no dog. Will someone be able to provide a very large and rancid dog turd?

Nominated by Ron Knee

(It took me three attempts to create this post. Thanks shit WiFi!)

Emile Ratelband

Emile Ratelband. You may have heard his name recently as the old cunt wanted to legally change his age from 69 to 49 because he can’t get a date on tinder.

This guy is the epitomy of cunt, he is a ‘positivity trainer’ and says doctors have told him he has the body of someone in their 40’s. And that if he could be 49 instead of 69, with a face like his (his own words), he’d be in a ‘luxurious position’.

Thankfully, a court told him to get fucked as there would be serious legal ramifications if people could just change their age. Which, Mr positive thinks is discrimination.

I myself has always fancied becoming a bear. Sleep through the winter, eat lots of salmon, live a predominantly secluded life, wonder if I can legally change my species to bear? On the grounds of this clown and other LGBT cunts, if you don’t let me, you’re bearist.

Nominated by elboobio