BBC Horrible Histories

The BBC’s decided that it’s not been determined enough in it’s efforts to make people here and abroad hate the nation, so has gone full on anti-British making an indoctrination film for the kids that’s utterly contemptuous of our country and it’s peoples intelligence, loathsome of our achievements, and instead paints us as idiots, thieves, slavers, and all round scumbags (probably more, but I could only stand literally a few seconds of this thing before flying into such a rage, I thought boiling piss might erupt through my eye sockets).

Even BBC’s Andrew Neil has put his head above the parapet, losing all patience and lambasting this rubbish. Conservative commentator Iain Martin sensibly asks, “Is the BBC on a mission to get itself closed down?”

What really fucks me off is these smug twat’s depiction of the British as militantly insular, and so ignorant not to know that tea is Chinese. We are the greatest trading nation in the world, that’s what our Empire was! Opening up worldwide trade was just one of the things other countries have to thank us for. While idiots ignorant of history paint us as thieves, WE recognise we became rich by trade, and are still trying to impress that fact upon places like Africa to stop bleating and asking for handouts and start trading! But nations trading together doesn’t mean you have a right to live in our country, or that controlling borders is xenophobic or anti-trade, you condescending fucking cunts!

Nominated by Agent Double-O Shagga


Stupid Car Names

I propose a hit-and-run cunting for stupid car names. A bit ‘niche’ perhaps, and not a burning subject of our times, but for some reason they just piss me off. Plus I need a break from having a go at Remoaners and various other anti-social cunts.

Back in maaaah day, us motors ‘ad proper, no nonsense names like the Datsun ‘Boring’ or the Fiat ‘Ruster’. Even now, there are plenty of makes about whose names generate a sense of empathy and identity with the model, such as ‘Golf’, ‘Civic’ and ‘Ibiza’. Yet as time has passed, manufacturers have been unable to resist the lure of giving stupid, wanky names to their cars in an attempt to make them seem more individualistic. The marketing suits have taken over, and image is king.

As I’ve observed this phenomenon over time, I detect the development of two distinct trends for those vehicles aimed at the mass market. What do you do if you’re punting a tiny, nought to sixty in fifteen minutes box on wheels? You can hardly hope to sprinkle it with Bondesque allure, so you go for the quirky, trendy, cute angle. Hence the Chevrolet ‘Sparkle’, the Daihatsu ‘Naked’ or the Mitsubishi ‘Winky’; and let’s not forget the latter’s ill-fated ‘Lettuce’. Then if you want to conjure up a grittier, more dashing image for your bog standard saloon, you try to add a bit of edge by sticking another word onto the name, such as the ‘Dart Swinger’, the ‘Cavalier Commander’, or the ‘Fiesta Flame’. For an extra touch of sophistication, put in a letter ‘q’ without a ‘u’ somewhere, as in ‘Qashqai’ and ‘Ioniq’. Developing this theme of the meaningless but esoteric, you can come up with names like ‘Captur’ and ‘Kadjar’. Wow I’m overwhelmed. Got to get me one of them Kadjars. Renault’s an iconic marque if ever there was one.

Then to anyone who really wants to add yet more ‘devil may care’ to their image, I’d say, why not throw caution to the wind and bolt a caravan onto the back of your Satsuma ‘ShitZsu’? There are some really sexy beasts out there, such as the ‘Meteor’, the ‘Conqueror’, and my own personal favourite, the ‘Marauder’.

Ironically, I’d bet that car manufacturers pay a king’s ransom to marketing twats, only for them to come up with ludicrously naff names. I can offer a couple here and now off the top of my head. How about the Audi ‘Rsoul’ for example, or the Mercedes ‘Wankar’? You can have those on the house boys. Sorry BMW, but I’ve already trademarked the ‘Kuntr’, but I’m sure that we could come up with a mutually acceptable financial agreement.

Contact me through IsAC. I’ll be waiting for your call.

Nominated by Ron Knee

The Royal British Legion (2)

Here’s one I never thought I would have to do. The Royal British Legion, or rather, those at the head of the RBL. It’s been announced today that the RBL is closing the four hotels it runs. The clown they just had on North West Tonight, who had obviously never served a day in his life, said it was to help veterans in other areas. A few weeks back though, the excuse was that the four hotels cost £6.5 million per year each to run and the RBL had a deficit of £40 million. However, it’s been revealed that the RBL has somewhere around £270 million sitting in the bank. This thing with the hotels goes back to November last year, and when I asked a guy manning a RBL stall in my local shopping mall, he got shirty and told me that it was only temporary. He then snottily asked if I’d ever served (I was wearing a hoodie that had “Royal Artillery Commando, with a red commando dagger beneath it). I was also wearing my HM Armed Forces badge. Of course I replied that I’d served for over twenty years. I later asked an RBL outreach worker I know, and she told me what was confirmed tonight, that the closures were permanent. So much for the lying cunt at the stall. And think on this, most of the staff at the hotels were volunteers. Some of them had been there years, and now they’re out of a job. And I would point out that I am in no way having a go at ordinary employees.

And the hotels aren’t the only thing the RBL are getting rid of. They’ve also gotten rid of their team of handymen, who were all veterans themselves. Those men did a brilliant job, for free, and now they’re unemployed. Of course, that hasn’t been widely mentioned. The fact is, those hotels provided a welcome break for veterans and their families, who might not necessarily be able to take breaks. More importantly, we were among people we could relate to more easily, other veterans. And in the summer, they opened to serving personnel and their families. Not anymore. Now the RBL has taken that away from us.

It seems to me that the RBL, which was once run by people who had served, has now gone the way of charities like Save the Children, the British Heart Foundation, Water Aid, etc and has been taken over by a bunch of arrogant, clueless pricks, who’ve never served a day in their lives, and whose sole aim is to make money. Well, not from me. Apart from buying a poppy come Remembrance day, they won’t get a single penny out of me. I’ve cancelled my direct debit. And I’m not the only one.

It’s a real shame, because the Legion has done a lot for me, and other veterans over the years. Unfortunately, the upper echelons have now been infested with the kind of middle class, elitist, know better than you types that infest other charities. Those people are cunts.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Grace Blakely

A biblical cunting for new turd on the block,’The New Statesman”s Grace Blakeley.

If any of you have been watching an annoying, white, woke princess on TV recently, it’s a good bet it’s uber cunt and leftie gobshite Blakeley. Although only 26, Blakeley is an expert on absolutely everything, trained in the same debating technique employed by ISAC’s favourite cry baby Owen Jones. When Blakeley talks, you LISTEN!! And when it’s your chance to respond, Blackley talks right over the top of you!!

I just happened to see her performance on GMB hosted by Ben “fuck face” Shephard and Kate (frayed around the edges but you still would) Garraway. The victim was LBC host Iain Dale who I think is a brilliant presenter and talks a lot of sense. Poor Dale was seated between some sand coloured man of the left with an unpronounceable surname and PRINCESS WOKE. It began with a sermon from Blakeley, with the sand man occasionally piping up, with Dale sitting listening to their utter bollocks until he made the fatal error of thinking they actually wanted to debate. Before he could finish a sentence, Blakeley was talking loudly over the top of him. Dale waited and tried again. This time the pig-ignorant cunt Blakeley started pulling faces, eye-rolling and waving her arms about (Owen Jones style) Sand man sprang into action as the two cunts tag teamed Dale!! All the while “fuck face“ Shephard and Garraway just sat back and did absolutely nothing. Realising this was a fucking stitch up, Dale removed his mic and calmly walked off.

GMB should be ashamed of themselves!! Utter cunts!!!

Nominated by Quislings

It’s high time someone cunted Grace Blackley.

How and why the media put this left-wing piece of shit on the television is anyone’s guess, but instead of engaging in reasonable debate, she screams on like some harpy banshee whilst spouting her left-wing bollocks.

This cunt is like listening to fucking Vicky Pollard from ‘Little Britain’ and any debate is as pointless as watching sad has-been Terry Christian.

I just wish this horrible cunt would go away somewhere and die……

Nominated by Jack Jones

Greedy Parents

This Cunt claims that he didn’t know that a company car put him over the 50k threshold for certain benefits. Well, he fucking well should know. However,what really gets me is that someone who earns 50k+ still has the gall to claim child benefit. I thought that benefits were for the “needy”, not for some cunt on a grand a week.

Fair enough, he works for his money and I bet that his enabled him to live a decent lifestyle: nice holidays, clothes, etc, and good luck to him, he’s earned them. But why does he think that his money should be topped up by other taxpayers? He whines that the taxman is hammering “the working man”, as is he with his greedy and fraudulent claim. Other “working men” will be earning less than him and yet he still thinks that they should boost his not inconsiderable wage and contribute to raising HIS children, the fucking nerve of the cunt.

People choose to have children. They should fucking well pay for themselves. I won’t even start on the child-popping Chavs and multi-hued “Enrichers” who see every squalling brat as another few quid in the bank. My dander is already on the point of popping.

Back to the greedy cunt in the story. I hope that the tax-office wring every fucking penny out of him. If he can’t pay, they should send the bailiffs in. I bet the kids all have mobile phones, computers etc. That should raise a couple of quid, plus have the added bonus of teaching them and their cheating parents a lesson.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler