Selective amnesia

I would like to nominate amnesia for a proper cunting, as it seems that if you are a woman born any time in the last 50 years or so you suffer from a rather debilitating version of selective amnesia in which you all of a sudden remember hideous sexual abuse and harassment when your memory is remarkably jogged by either an Al-BBC reporter or a lawyer.

It seems that 67% of women have suffered some form of sexual harassment and then “got on with their lives” completely oblivious to the fact that it actually was abuse until the witch hunter comes a knocking, at which point, sometimes many years later, they suddenly remember the trauma and abuse and start blubbing and claiming a ruined life for something they previously hadn’t given much thought about, the poor souls.

There was a time when we used to be able to say anything to each other in the pursuit of chasing the opposite sex, flirting it used to be called. It was innocent and both ladies and men used to do it in the hope of having it off with someone eventually. Now it seems any kind of historical chat up lines can be brought to bear as harassment and sexual abuse. Amazing that something only matters when its given a label and a price tag.

With flirting and sex now off the table it appears the human race is doomed to die out, good fucking riddance i say, cos a world without paying compliments, flirting and, gulp, sex isnt worth saving.

My overriding worry in all this is that in primary school in 1977 me and Mary Smith played “you show me yours and ill show you mine”, so its only a mater of time now…..

Nominated by Detective Sergeant Cuntstubble.

Daytime TV

Daytime TV needs a good cunting in my opinion.

Using up some holiday and I have to say what a fucking horror show daytime TV is.

Endless repeats of ancient Top Gear, Police Interceptors and Can’t pay, We Won’t Take It Away are the HIGHLIGHTS. When you did deeper the torture that can be found is amazing.

Move To the Country is a fine example, insufferably smug middle age cunts selling their 700k townhouse and sniffing at a huge country mansion, cunts. There’s also a version where the cunts are buying holiday homes in shitholes like Spain and Portugal where they’re not sure if it’s “quite right”….it’s Spain you thick as shit cunts, stray dogs and more dog shit on the streets than you can shake a stick at combined with British pensioners and chavs smelling of cheap perfume and chip vinegar.

Then you can move onto the ultimate terror…..daytime advertising, it comes on like every thirty seconds and all channels show adverts at the same time so there’s no escape.

I don’t have PPI so fuck off cunts.

I’m not injured so you can all fuck the fuck off too.

I’m not stupid enough for utter dross like the “Postcode Lottery” where council house mongs leer at you from the screen with their oversize novelty cheques.

The very worst though are those fucking Clear Score ads where the cunt continually checks his credit score and talks bollocks to his dog while his wife looks and speaks like she’s taken a massive does of Ketamine. Look you cunt, there’s no such thing as a credit score in the UK so take your dog, junkie wife and your shitty website and shove it up your arse.

No wonder there’s so many untaken days holiday if this slack jawed dross is all you have to watch.

New Cars

Regarding Mike’s earlier connection with ‘sleb’ culture and its link with moronic consumerism,

May I please cunt people with absolutely brand new cars, especially German ones.

Keeping up with the Jones’s (or more probably the Patels or the Abdullah’s) usually marks you as a pretentious cunt. Surely you’d be better off getting a 2-year old car?

Probably half the price and with its inevitable factory recalls mostly sorted, you’ve just saved yourself 15 grand you could invest in something more sensible, you daft clot.

I was driving on the hellish M25 yesterday and looking round at all the 67-plate cars and felt a sense of satisfaction that I was in a £250 22-year old Toyota Carina.

My wife asked when I’m going to replace it (as I can afford to do so) and I enquired if she’s emabarrassed to be seen in it (it’s also the wankest car in a middle class street, by a country mile). She admitted that yes, she is not only embarrassed to be seen in it by her cunt friends, also it’s “an eyesore” on our road apparently as our neighbours have almost new cars.

So I’ll be keeping it long after its economical repair life if it offends that fucking witch!

Is there a name for such a thing as an anti-consumer way of thought?

Nominated by Thomas the Cunt Engine.

The Human Race

I want to nominate the human race for a cunting, or ninety five per cent of them anyway, there are a few nice genuine people in existence but they’re a tiny minority.

Humans are the most revolting worthless species ever to develop on this planet. Animals are far superior and know how to co-exist, they’re content as long as they’ve got a full stomach and they have a lot more sense.

Take something like a wildebeest, it gets born on the African plains and it has about an hour to get up and follow its mother otherwise it’s dead meat. Compare that with teenagers who run straight out of the school gates into the traffic. Fifteen years on the planet and they haven’t got the brains of a gnat. Treat an animal right and it will love you, treat a person right and they’ll likely kick you up the backside. The law of nature used to be the survival of the fittest. That doesn’t apply to humans any more. The ones with intelligence have careers and the ones who don’t stay on council estates, living on benefits that others provide and breeding more fucking idiots who grow up and do the same.

The human race should be exterminated like parasites before they develop space travel and get the chance to infect other planets. They’re a motley collection of lying, cheating, thoughtless, arrogant, thieving, two-faced, selfish, offensive, bloody fucking arseholes.

Ah. I feel better now.

Nominated by Allan.

Human beings are mostly as thick as pig shit. They harbour beliefs in supernatural beings, churn kids out by the billions without a thought how they are going to be supported and find things to fight about that even a three year old wouldn’t bother about. I’d be surprised if this pathetic species is still here in 500 years. Probably wouldn’t be able to reproduce anyway after the pissy fairy wusses have had every fuckers cocks n minges removed so you have to go to a shit n piss removal centre. Gender free of course. Cunts.

Nominated by Kendo Nag

Meaningless surveys

Nomination: Meaningless surveys

What the fuck. Some bunch of cunts just pulled a couple of dozen people off the street and asked them “Where is the best place to live in Britain?”

Answer ? Skipton

Skipton for fucks sake? Skipton? Have you ever been to fucking Skipton? Well, I have and it definitely ain’t the best place to live in Britain. No way.

And where is the friendliest place in Britain? Keswick – probably because no cunt lives there apart from b&b owners and shopkeepers selling walking gear and tacky tourist trash.

And apparently the best place to live in London is Peckham. Even their Labour MP – one Harriet Harman – lives in Herne Hill which last time I looked wasn’t in Peckham.

What is the fucking point of these surveys other than to fill newspapers with meaningless bollocks?

Nominated by Dioclese.