Life Coachs

Life coach’s are cunts, aren’t they?

If your life isn’t going well and you expect to be richer/sexier/more complete, why not try a life coach?  They’ll give meaning to your life.  They won’t just spout hackneyed gibberish like “Leave your comfort zone”, they’ll insist they have ” the secret” and will claim they know how to “harness your inner power”.  Not at all tired, condescending cliches.

This is another, wretched Yank import like Black Friday, the intense commercialisation of Halloween, fast food and awful spelling.  There are courses to take, workshops to attend, books to buy, these leeches will find a way to extract your money and you’ll consent to it.

This has to be one of the best scams of the 21st Century.  ” Take a journey to yourself” read one hollow, quasi-religious nonsensical headline.  All these smarmy parasites have done is had expensive haircuts, bleached their grinders until they shine, then casually googled a few Buddhist quotes.  They aren’t saviors, they’re frauds who feed on the depressed, the weak, and the insecure.

Captain Magnanimous advises, “Take a journey to fuck yourself, you parasitic cunts”.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous