I nominate Tik Tok, the new platform for complete cunts.

Anybody seen this crap?

They are all there. All the talentless, tattooed twats who dance around in their house or garden miming to hip-hop “songs” or doing duets of ‘you’re the one that I want’ with other fuckwits.

You don’t need to be able to sing or play an instrument or make up a funny story.

No, you just move about in your chav clothes, poking your fat tongue out, pulling stupid expressions and adding ‘special effects’ in a pathetic attempt to make the whole yawningly boring episode seem interesting.

Fucking show-off cunts.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

Right, I have to nominate Tiktok adverts. More specifically, that one with the really annoying dark key called Shem and his mother. I swear, every third YouTube video I see has this advert either beforehand or as a midroll. I won’t share it here so as to spare the piss of my fellow cunters from completely evaporating, but it is so ear-splittingly awful that it makes me want to put my phone through the fucking wall.

Everything about it – from the mock Jamaican accents to the faux-childlike voices – enrages me like no other advert, including the ones featuring those bastard meerkats, possibly can. Fuck you Tiktok – selling your users’ data to the Chink government is bad enough but this advert is a new low

Nominated by General Tso’s Chiggun

Luvvies please stand in front of your makeup mirrors – the ones with the lights all round them – to cheer that hoity-toity-upper-class-twit-of-the-year- pansy , your fellow thespian, Hugh Mavis Grant

Hughie-duckie obviously has designs to follow fellow nancy Eddie Izzard into the oh-so-super world of politics, by sharing his thoughts, such as they are, on the Coronavirus epidemic. I agree not every action the government has taken would have been what I would have suggested, but they are there to govern. Grant is merely there to prove what an arsehole he is.

He might be a minimally talented actor laddie, but I am sure his fellow nob-polishers will assure him “darling, you were wonderful” (years ago perhaps). Now he just looks like Kweer Charmer’s slightly raddled sister.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

apologies to our esteemed contributors for the technical error which was temporarily missed due to a fine Sunday dinner with five bottles of red. Thanks must go to the rightly esteemed honourable member, SIR D.Fiddler, for pointing out this atrocious lapse in administerial duty. The sixth bottle shall be toasted to your wonderful hounds good sir.

Please carry on Cunting, good sirs.

Trump Dissenters:

I’m perplexed as to why so many British people are obsessed with Donald Trump. These social commentators need an ‘extra-large cunting of apple pie’ cunting.

I find President Trump mildly amusing and struggle to understand why so many Brits genuinely hate him. Surely, there are worthier targets than him, by way of Country leader.

Kim Jong No! Our favourite “Rocket man” is shunned, sanctioned and constantly jibed about his looks, height, fanny parted hair and his crappy excuse of a Country. Constantly talking bollocks, Britain at best pretends not to notice him and at worst extends pity where detestation should be, as he improves the daily odds of nuclear Armageddon.

Let us consider “Mugabe-esque” President Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea who took power in a violent coup d’état in 1979. His cunt of a son is in line to succeed him and blows millions in government funds on a celebrity lifestyle whilst 1 in 5 children die before their fifth birthday. The surviving 80% of kids have no access to medicines, education or even clean drinking water.

What about Vladimir? Flying his retro 1960’s ‘cold war’ bombers near our airspace. Popping over to blighty to kill his ex KGB comrades whenever the fancy takes oh, and having small beady shark like eyes like ‘The Predator’. (The film not Sir Jimmy Wilson Vincent of Savil) puts Putin above Trump for a merited loathing surely?

King Mswati of Swaziland – Who? Sub-Saharan Africa’s last absolute monarch presides over a country which has one of the world’s lowest life expectancy at 33 years. All riddled with Aids apparently. The majority of people live on under a pound a day and unemployment tracks at 40%. King Mswati uses his kingdom’s treasury to fund expensive tastes in German cars, first-class global travel and on his eight wives.

Mention the C word, and their recent contribution to global mortality rates and you are classed as racist. I guess the British public will continue swiping at Trump, in the knowledge it is unaffecting US sentiment and he that probably doesn’t give a fuck anyway! CUNTS!

Nominated by Daz

Jair Bolsonaro
There is no doubt that Brazilian president Bolsonaro is the most pathetic leader in the history of the world. He is a cunt of volcanic dimensions and deserves to be trampled by a samba group into a smear of blood and flesh on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. That is, if there is ever another Carnival. At the rate Brazilians are dying this looks unlikely.

When asked to comment on 700 deaths in a single day his reply was “So what?”. He proceeded to show his sympathy for the victims and their families when the death toll hit 10,000 by going water skiing.

Oh and incidentally he forced his health minister to resign because he did not agree with Bolsonaro´s description of the coronavirus as “little flu”. He followed this by then forcing his justice minister – Sergio Moro, the judge who put the previous president Lula in jail on corruption charges – to resign as well. It just happened that Moro was overseeing an investigation into corruptions by one of Bolso´s freeloading sons.

Nominated by Mr Polly

also guilty of this:  https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2019/02/10/brazilian-president-jair-bolsonaro-erase-lgbt-content-schools/

COFFEE DRINKERS:-

An ooh-get-the-madam pretentious? – moi? cunting please for the new trendy snobs – “serious” coffee drinkers. At one time wine connossieurs were considered the most asinine pretentious motherfuckers in the world, but the post Maxwell House soy boys have managed to outdo them, even garnering serious articles in the City AM newspaper:

How to make the perfect cup of coffee at home

Of course, pansy “City boy” poseurs have always tried to make an easy job hard, their way of appearing macho in a soft as shit world – half an hours hard exercise in a Bishopsgate gym, before applying the “discreet” makeup to cycle the 500 yards back to the office (a final dusting of powder after removing the cycle helmet – can’t have a shiny nose when arsehole crawling to the lady boss).

This article (online only as there is no printed hard copy at the moment), even suggests getting scales to measure out the coffee beans – even the wine lovers didn’t go that far!. Go on lads, go and just get a bottle of Camp coffee and a tin of Ideal Milk like we did in the fifties and stop being so fucking arty-farty.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs