Keira Knightly [2]

Keira Knightley

As part of the marketing of the dire film ”Colette”, Keira Knightley has been giving “”interviews”. Rather than attempt to describe or explain her ludicrous, right-on, politically correct and know-all “opinions”, I will let you read these extracts from “The Guardian” (of course) to see how this untalented example of modern wimminhood is condemned by her own big mouth:

“I’ve never wanted a penis,” she clarifies. “Apart from to piss up a tree. Being able to do that standing up: so convenient. You can just whip it out and whatever. But the idea of something so vulnerable swinging between my legs, I think I’m all right without.”

“Knightley appears on Ellen DeGeneres’s chat show and mentions she has banned her young daughter, Edie from watching the Disney classics “Cinderella” and “A Little Mermaid” because of their dodgy feminist messages.”

The article also refers to “vagina splitting, blood, poo, cracked nipples and incontinence pads” but I gave up in disgust. It was almost as horrible as her insolent, spoiled brat face and non-existent acting ability.

Nominated by FedUpWithWiimminWhiningAboutNothing

The People’s Vote (3)

1. We already had a referendum, I’m sure we did because it’s been scaring the shit out of a load of cunts with a vested interest in the status quo for quite a few months now.

2. It’s called The People’s Vote Which is obviously patronising bullshit and overtly manipulative. Yet not only do some cunts think that nobody will notice.but lots of people seem to fall for it.

3. Loads of cunts want to use it to bind us to a mega-state beaurocracy because they are worried that the price of their Costa and Pret(entious) might go up a bit, even though millions of people that they say they care about (they actually don’t!) who are mostly poorer don’t like the mega-state beaurocracy because it adversely affects their life.

4. Other stuff – it doesn’t matter, where is my latte!

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

Tulip Siddiq

This virtue signalling cunt delayed her baby’s birth to vote against the Government in last night’s Brexit vote even though she has a “high risk” pregnancy and doctors advised that she have a Caesarean on Monday or Tuesday night.

She said: “If my son enters the world even one day later than the doctors advised, but it’s a world with a better chance of a strong relationship between Britain and Europe, then that’s worth fighting for.”

Well, how about if the poor little cunt enters it (Dog forbid) disabled or not-at-all due to your selfishness? Your knew your vote would mean the square root of FUCK ALL in the overall outcome and yet you were willing to go against doctor’s advice just to make a political point.

I’m not so much of a cunt to wish any harm to your son. I sincerely hope he is OK and grows up to remember your actions when it comes to choosing a care home for you.

You selfish cunt.

Nominated by Thirkleby Spunktrumpet

Jeremy Corbyn (15)

Jeremy Corbyn (yet again)

Will this cunt just fuck off!!!

He lost the no confidence vote last night and immediately took his bat home by refusing talks with May unless she rules out a “No deal” exit. How fucking stupid is he?! Doesn’t he realise this option is a vital lever in our negotiations for a BETTER deal?

Now he’s calling for a General Election yet a YouGov poll showed only 20% think he’d be a decent PM. In the same poll, 36% went for May, 41% Didn’t know/care and a 3% told the pollster (quite rightly) to fuck off.

So, he knew he’d lose the no confidence vote, yet he called one. He knows there’s every chance he’d lose an election and yet he’s calling for one.

He’s like some sort of retarded, superannuated Terminator – he just keeps coming!

Fuck off you beardy cunt.

Nominated by Thirkleby Spunktrumpet

Old Cunts In Cars

Old Cunts in Cars (how topical)

So the Dook has mangled a top orf the range Land Rover and got away with it apart from a pool orf Royal shite in his pants – but whichever cunter has him in The Pool, their tender heart must be beating pitter pat…and they are glued to the news. Bit like a sub plot with a cliff hanger ending to revitalise a flagging East Enders. Brexit has gone to shite so lets all focus orn the Dook, end orf.

Meanwhile what is largely going under the radar is the geriatric carnage orf collisions, blood, piss and shit going orn on our roads. Speak as an old cunt meself who has never taken a test but whose method orf driving has never let him doine yet – gun me old Bentley up to max, leave it orn overdrive orn the steering column, all headlamps orn full blast and let the other fuckers get oit the way. Works for me.

Have seen some frighteners over the years, old cunts coming at me orn the wrong side orf the road and hooting me, Yours Truly. Me bumpers get them cunts orf the road double quick. Came oit into the car park orf Waitrose once to find another old cunt repeatedly reversing between a wall bang and other car bang. Mincers at Waitrose – what a fucking shower – not a clue what to do, old cunt refused to stop or get oit so wedged a shopping trolley under his back end. Hauled el cunto oit who was as mad as hell, took his keys and left him aiming kicks at the mincers. His motor stunk like a rancid ladyboy’s jock strap and the foam in the driving seat was squishy with old man’s piss. Lovely. Started the motor up and immediate lurch stall. Tried agin’, same thing then clocked it was an Italian auto box and all was not well. Took all me considerable heft orn the pedal (and YT is not a small man) to shift it and get any sort orf gear and there was no way orf knowing which other than let it lurch backwards or forwards.

El cunto starts yelling at me not to drive it that way but put it in D, forget R and accelerate like the bejusus then jump orn the brake. Bugger me that sort orf worked and eventually got the motor (fucking ancient Fiat) oit the bay and into the road. Old cunt was happy as larry and pissed orf max revs catching a few more motors on his way oit. YT was knackered after all that and I mean knackered, sweating buckets, groin strained and me old hernia popping oit. Bastard. Cap it all me hands were covered in some rancid sweaty cheesey fuck from the steering wheel.

Naturally Old Bill then show up after the event having been called by the mincers and try and do me! Sort that oit double quick but salutary lesson learnt. One old cunt should never get involved in the miserys or misfortunes orf another old cunt. Let them go to fuck. Every man for himself in this life. Oh and many a story on this subject but not got all night cunts.

Nominated by Sir Limply