Hand car wash

Hand Car Washers are cunts, aren’t they.

Is there anybody in society (other than the police) who ISN’T aware that 100% of these dingy havens are drug dealerships? How do these cockroach-infested hovels not get raided every hour of every day?

They are choc-a-fucking-bloc full of scuzzy, tax-dodging Iron Curtains. Barely Entry 1 Level English, probably claiming housing and unemployment benefits, all topped-up with a nightime smack-selling bonus. Either that or they’ve been smuggled in via a lorry earning decent moolah and devoid of any legal status; free to rape or burgle and totally off the grid.

These pop-up scams are bursting with rapey, scrofulous peasants from Romania, Poland, Bulgaria, Hungary, Ukraine, Macafuckingdonia, Albania and every other former communist shitehole. We’ve been well and truly invaded.

Coming to a neighbourhood (after dark) near you, soon.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous


Me Too [2]

Fuck guys, just when we thought this #metoo shite had ended, more cunts crawl out of the woodwork seeking their 5 minutes of sympathy and their victim of the week medal.

Spotify have now stopped promoting R Kelly on their platform coz some cunt on Twitter complained about him. Obviously the twitch fork mob came out in force to impose their mob justice on everyone that’d listen, and Spotify, like most weak cunts these days, have thrown up the white flag and capitulated unconditionally.

Now I’m not a fan of R Kelly, in fact I despise the cunt and his shite music, but he has strongly denied any wrongdoing and until found guilty by due process he is deemed INNOCENT. … or at least that’s the fundamental foundation of our justice and law based society.

This is what Spotify said:
“We don’t censor content because of an artist’s or creator’s behavior, but we want our editorial decisions – what we choose to programme – to reflect our values.

“When an artist or creator does something that is especially harmful or hateful, it may affect the ways we work with or support that artist or creator.”

This is what Spotify meant:
“We DO censor content because of an artist’s or creator’s behavior (PROVEN OR OTHERWISE), but we want our editorial decisions – what we choose to programme – to reflect our values (EVEN THOUGH WE DON’T HAVE ANY VALUES OUTSIDE OF THE ACQUISITION OF WEALTH).

“When CUNTS ON TWITTER CLAIM THAT an artist or creator does something that is especially harmful or hateful, it may affect the ways we work with or support that artist or creator.”

They’re also now introducing on their platform, the means to report “hate speech” or “hate content”.

More mob justice and more pathetic capitulation.

Weak cunts.

Nominated by deploythesausage


The race card

Libfucks who constantly play the racist card are cunts….
Doesn’t matter what the issue is (I’d say ‘discussion’, but snowflakes are incapable of discussion), but leftist turds always use the race card against absolutely anyone who disagrees with them on anything… Don’t want a black James Bond? Racist! Want the police to get tougher on London’s gangscum? Racist! Think those shitty sandfilth grooming gangs have it far too easy? Racist! Don’t want your local town becoming like some ex-Soviet or Eastern Bloc shithole? Racist! Want out of the EU snakepit? Racist! Don’t agree with Lily Mong? Racist! Think Lammy is a colossal cunt? Racist! Know Abbott is a useless fat cunt? Racist!Don’t like Obama? Racist! Had white mice as pets when you were a kid? Racist! Prefer fruit salad sweets to black jacks? Racist! Think Beyonce’s singing is shit? Racist! Want to bring standing back at football matches? Racist! Seriously, there are now lickarse fuckcunts who are trying to scupper the standing at Premier League games campaign because they say if people stand up it will trigger ‘racism’… Some cunt of an MP told the Commons he has ‘reservations’ about safe standing because there could be a ‘real danger of racist abuse’… Trouble with these cunts is they think when they squeal ‘racist’ or ‘racism’ people or groups will either shut up, back down, or apologise… Well, fuck that and fuck them… Let’s hope the football supporters who want standing back at top level games refuse to budge and give these snowflake SJW fannies the (online, of course) kicking that they so richly deserve…

Nominated By Norman

The humble tea bag

PG Tips and Tetley are both utterly idiotic, lefty cunts.

I’ve just had to remake my cup of tea 4 times and boil the kettle twice just to make 1 cup.
Coz the fuckin bags keep splitting.

I just thought I had a bad batch but on further investigation I found out that the stupid deranged lefty cunts have removed all plastic from their bags and replaced it with (non waterproof) biodegradable tissue paper.

Has it not occurred to them that the plastic was in there for a fucking reason?

Well it was you cunts and now your tea bags are shite!

Pg tips is owned by unilever – Dutch cunts.
Tetley is owned by Tata – the shittest CAR company in the world. It’s fuckin Indian for crying out loud … the cunts can’t even DRIVE a car, let alone MAKE one …
And what the fuck is a CAR company doing trying to make fucking tea?!

The Americunts bought up our prestigious chocolate company, Cadburys … the inventors of chocolate … and then proceeded to fuck up all the recipes.
Apparently the Americans weren’t too keen on the taste and wanted it more like theirs.
If you don’t like it fuck off and make your own and stay away from our shit you cunts …
…. I digress.
(Sorry about that, this tea is weak so I’m getting stressed).



Why don’t you just do the world a favour and go kill yourselves.
Some things piss me off.
Some things boil my piss.

*deep breath deep breath*

I’m switching to Yorkshire tea.
…though no doubt some Americunt or white flag waving fucking frog will come and buy that too.


I need another cuppa but I don’t have the patience …

On further investigation I’ve just found out that all of this shit was started by a cunt called Michael Armitage, a CUNT … Sorry, GARDENER … from Wrexham.
Apparently they don’t biodegrade when you throw them on the compost heap …

230,000 cunts signed his petition ….

Unilever’s solution?
Non waterproof tea bags.

Seems the whole world is full to brim with cunts……….

Nominated by Deploy the sausage.


Boris’s Barnet


As the old crimper’s gag goes:

“ ‘Ere now I gotta wear a pair of knickers on me barnet”
“You’ve cut it like a cunt”

Thus hairstyle maketh the man. Point is this cozening cunt deliberately scruffs up his barnet for the camera. Must think it makes him look like a man orf the people, not the over privileged spawn orf Eton that he in fact is. However nothing can mask the beaky nose and the greedy rapacious eyes. “Me me first” Boris.

Blighty has a Foreign Secretary that looks like a shambling pervert and a demented hunch back Prime Minister from the Brothers Grimm, the Downing Street House of Horrors. Write your own cast list. Who needs Gun Boats when we have Boris to frighten the natives. Trouble is these days the natives just tell the dosser cunt to fuck off and do your flies up. As a diplomat (first requirement on the job description) he is a disaster and is rightly regarded as an international joke.

Recall those heady days after Cameron fucked himself for the leadership and Johnson and Gove knifed each other in the back to let May through. Much talk orf Johnson’s debating skills and speech making prowess. Transpires the cunt literally sounds like he is talking out of his arse – “Pop pop flubber flubber fluster oh shit yahoo raspberry”.

Puffing posturing cunt courts the media until one orf his regular cock-ups obliges him to hide his cowardly arse. Then he allegedly indulges in “extramarital adulterous liaisons”(quote courtesy the Appeal Court), love child ect ect until the all clear sounds. Perfect credentials to hold one orf the highest offices of state.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke