Migrant violin players


Migrant violin players are cunts…

Went on a job to Bury the other day: and there’s this dirty looking foreign cunt ‘playing the violin… Was in Manchester yesterday, and I saw three (fucking three!) more of these gyppo fiddler cunts in different parts of the city… Is their some sort of laboratory that’s cloning these bastards?…. They are all the same…. All fat, smelly dirty, greasy gyppo cunts… All ‘no speaky Engleesh’….

All have a ridiculously loud ‘backing track’ (ie: a Mantovani CD) that they ‘play along’ and/or mime to…. All ‘play’ the same tunes (‘My Way’ Strangers In The Night), isn’t it amazing how they all ‘sound’ identical?…. And all are irritating, noisy, benefits fiddling, begging w@g cunts….

Nominated by Norman

SMAM


Here’s a cunt who emerges every summer….the SMAM (Sunday Morning Action Man).

This wanker gets up at the crack of dawn….let’s DO something in the garden, it’s such a beautiful day. Out comes the fucking noisy lawnmower for the 14th time this month.. Follow that with the fucking strimmer and its high pitched whining. Let’s have a loud conversation with the other SMAM cunt 4 doors down…….”Beautiful morning isn’t it? I’m getting the power saw out in a minute to cut up some fucking wood for no fucking particular reason at all..”

After that there’s silence for about half an hour as SMAM stuffs his fat smug face. Then it’s out with the power sander followed by about 2 fucking hours of randomly hammering nails into wood.

Is there any thought for poor old Freddie trying to sleep off his Saturday night excesses? NO….fuck that cunt. And don’t get me started on fucking barbecues. Listen SMAM you fucking noisy cunt……..shut the fuck up you BASTARD!

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

Gary Lineker (6)


Gary Lineker is a monumental cunt…
He said this about the French Presidential Elections: ‘Huge disappointment, resentment and bitterness amongst some of UK’s fascists this morning. She lost (comfortably). Get over it.’

But when somebody replied to him, ‘So, why can’t you get over Brexit?’ Fanny Lineker responded, ‘Missing such an obvious joke is a blocking offence i’m afraid.’

This snotty cunt can’t even answer a civil question and ‘blocks’ anyone who disagrees with him?… And the smear of shite has the audacity to talk about fascists?!?…. Hope he falls off a fucking big cliff…

Nominated by Norman

I can’t abide that rectum of rectitude, Lineker.

A pious, jug-eared wankspangle sums him up nicely.

His only and modest talent lies with advertising crisps.

No wonder his Mrs ferked off. He was probably up in his private study, spanking himself over the Brexit referendum every night. Leaving her to play solo gusset typing.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

Hell will freeze over before another Walker’s crisp passes between my lips. I might write to them and tell them that…..but I will relent if they sack the bastard. Does anyone know where I can buy “fascist” crisps?

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

Emoji


Emoji’s is a cunt.

I’ve been on here for a fairly long time now and like to think of myself as part of the furniture, but I am getting concerned with certain behaviour.

The Emoji, what’s wrong with good old fashioned letters and numbers? I come on here to have a whinge about some cunt or cunts, the last thing I want to put is an Emoji. It reminds me of the early text message days when some cunts would write in some shortened way that only a fellow cunt could understand. Anyways before anyone calls me an old cunt I’m 38 and I refuse to use the Emoji.

Emoji’s fall in the same category as Twatter, Cuntbook, queuing outside an Apple store for the new iPhone, and high fives.

What a piece of cunt. (is there an Emoji for that).

Nominated by Black and White Cunt

Obesity


“Slow metabolism” “Big bones” “Need support”. No you fucking cunts, you are fat because you are weak. It is your fault and your fault alone. Society didn’t make you fat, McPukeburger didn’t make you fat, Glegg’s nasty pasties didn’t make you fat, you made you fat by eating the fucking shit.

And you can stick your fad diets up your fat arses because all you need to do is consume fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. Nothing more complicated than that, just plain old thermodynamics. Unless you are trying to tell me that the laws of thermodynamics do not apply in the tiny corner of the universe you inhabit?

You should be fucking ashamed of yourself you fat cunts, you are a drain on society and a fucking disgrace.

But so long as you have a big pair of knockers you’re on.

Nominated by Skidmark Eggfart