I just want to cunt the forthcoming clock changes.

This bollocks wasn’t too bad when I was younger, but now it fucks me up big time.

What is the point or benefit in carrying on with this nonsense in a 24 hour world? (Covid restrictions excepted of course)

The EU have decided that in 2021, that member states have to decide once and for all which time zone they want to permanently adopt. Daylight saving in March or normal time in October. It’s probably the only thing i’ve ever agreed with the cunts on.

I don’t give a toss which is chosen for the UK, but for fuck sake just leave it one way or t’other for good.

Nominated by: BendyDick CùmInYaSnatch

(At time of writing (24/10/20) don’t forget to put your clocks back tonight. (I don’t think this applies to our friends in the States however. 1st November possibly). This means an extra hour in bed with your favourite blow-up doll or greased up left hand thinking of a 3-way with Flabbott & Butler- DA)

72 thoughts on “GMT or BST?

  1. I said to my missus, “Don’t forget that the clocks go back at the weekend.”

    She said, “How the fuck am I supposed to do that..?” I can’t even remember where I bought ’em from.”….

    • J.R. I am insisting if the Carry ON films come back that you are appointed chief scriptwriter. You are Talbot Rothwell and Ken Dodd (the real one not Kweer’s tart) and Eddie Braben rolled into one. I can’t think of a higher compliment

  2. A personal not to be repeated confession: I am a depressed cunt. I have suffered depressio since I retired. My GP thinks I have S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I think that sounds too trendy West Coast psychobabble, but the truth is, I hate to see the evening sun go down. From tomorrow it will be deark in London just after 1600 hrs. Within a few weeks, near to the fucking “festive season” it will be 1500 some days or even earlier on dull days. I dread the fucking winter gloom.

    I admired Harold Wilson back at the end of the 1960s when he instituted a three year experiment of staying in BST, but the fucking hidebound British didn’t like it (especially the sodding Jocks) “Oh kids will go to school in the dark”. Well, fuck it – they come home in the dark, so whats the difference. I would rather have been run over on my way TO school rather than having endured another day of the prison.

    I doubt we will ever change, but it seems so fucking stupid – we are in the 21st century, man has been to the moon, Anal-Ease Dodds has found some sap to fuck her and give her a baby, yet we are still fiddling about with clocks. Fuck em all.

    • I suffer from S.A.D. and I hate this time of year, especially when the clocks go back.

      Not the end of the world of course, but the idea of waking up and going to work in the dark, and going home in the dark do not fill me with any joy at all.

      As for the clocks going back: another pain in the arse, although my array of 7 PCs, 5 MACs, 4 servers, 5 tablets and 3 phones will automatically change. Its all the other bollocks that need to be manually changed, and inevitably there will be one fucker I will have forgotten – car clock or central heating usually.

    • Couldn’t agree more.
      I hate dark nights and winter gloom. Things are bad enough as they are right now without that.
      Cunts who go on about ‘drawing the curtains, settling in front of the fire to watch Corrie’ are loopy.

    • “yet we are still fiddling about with clocks.”
      Seems quite harmless to me compared with the clergy who are still “fiddling about with cocks.”
      The darker nights are a good idea because it means Covid curfew breakers can be shot without too many witnesses or questions being asked.

  3. Maybe I’m overthinking this, but why not adjust half an hour and leave it?
    In any event, It’s Greenwich mean time, so whatever we decide is the standard. Frogs take note, who wanted the prime meridian moved to run through Paris or some such backwater.

    • I’m inclined to just have both all the time and let everybody choose whichever one they want. I can’t imagine things would be any more chaotic than they are now.

  4. Whatever option is chosen by the EU states, the woke community will inevitably find it offends their delicate snowflakery sensibilities, and will label it with a tried and trusted “(fill in the blank)phobic”)

    • Clockphobia?

      BTW – I really understand what you said earlier. I find my “state” gets worse as August ends, I tend to buck up towards the end of January when you can see it staying light till 1700 – which to me is the very earliest time for it to be acceptable to be dark.

      I remember reading that gardening johnny Monty Don in one of his books (I think The Jewel Garden) saying that he gets S.A.D, only in his case it starts in July when he can see the daylight starting to get later – I am often up at that time, but it is the evenings that get me.. I think I will need a day of Havana Hurrican and Ginger Valentine tomorrow!

      • Its when we get past the shortest day (December 21st I think) and the days slowly get lighter that my SAD starts to lift.

        I know it will still be dark in the morning/night but there’s that psychological boost of knowing it will all come to an end by around March April.

  5. I shall listen to Pink Fkoyd for an hour to make up for it.

    Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
    Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
    Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
    Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

  6. I agree with this cunting.
    It was originally done to allow children to attend to their chores on the family farms before school.
    Outdated nonsense.

  7. The bottom line is that in the middle of winter you get 8 hours of daylight if you’re lucky. You can fiddle about with the clocks all you like but you’ll still only get 8 hours of daylight!

    • Exactly. My issue with the concept now that I’m older is that the old body sees no sense in forcing itself to change its eating, sleeping and crapping habits to appease some outdated practice that really benefits nobody. Personally I would rename BST as GMT and leave it where it is now.

  8. @DA

    Actually, we changed time last weekend. My time zone is CST…supposedly Central Standard time. Given my odd sleep pattern it’s more like Cuntster Standard Time…GMT -6.

    (At the time of this posting it will be 6:52AM)

  9. Stick with GMT. There is no need to change the clocks.

    This fucks me up every yearh, because I naturally wake up at 05:00.

    Takes weeks to get back into the correct rhythm.

    • I like it.
      Its says summers dead.
      Although just phoned the lad whos working for me tomorrow,
      He didnt know the clocks went back.
      Phoned tomorrows customer, he didnt know either.
      Its hard when only your on the ball.
      Loads be turning up for work a hour early still,
      Id sack them.
      If your not getting the hang of it by now your a slow learner.
      Fuck off.🖕

      • Afternoon Miserable.,

        Sorry to be a pedantic part of a Nordic god’s genitalia, but summer starts dying on the 21st of June when the days start to get shorter.

        I personally love the 21st of December, when the days start to get longer, although by only a couple of minutes a day. For me, that is the rebirth of the cycle and a reason to celebrate. Usually with a few cases of Danish Christmas beer, which I heartily recommend.

        • Evening Odin!👍
          Yes the winter solstice!
          If im honest I like all seasons,
          Just summer can be a bit to hot for my liking, but everything has its place, a cycle, and I love a really frosty early morning as the suns just coming up!
          You winning mate?

  10. @Tcunt

    In the continuous continental US there are 4. Eastern Standard (EST)…Central Standard (CST)…Mountain Standard (MST) and Pacific (PST).

    Continental Alaska has it’s own time zone…Alaska Standard Time (AKST). While the Aleutian Islands and Hawaii are on Hawaii-Aleutian Standard time (HST).

    There’s 2 others but nobody bothers with them. In the Pacific Territory of American Samoa there is Samoa Standard (UTC).

    And for a real mind blower there is Wake Island Time Zone and Chamorro Time Zone (Guam). Both of these are on the other side of the Date LIne and are GMT +12 and +15.

    With regard to Daylight Savings Time this gets fucked up because everything changes from Standard to Daylight, so EST becomes EDT.

    With regard to who observes it, I think there are only two states who do not. Hawaii and Arizona (I think.) But time can get confusing as times zones sometimes run through the middle of the state.

    For example I grew up in Northwest Indiana which is considered part of the Chicago Metropolitan area. We were on Central time as was Illinois. Almost all of the rest of the state of Indiana was on Eastern time.

    I’m not sure about which US Territories may or may not observe Daylight Savings Time but I don’t think many do. (i.e. Puerto Rico and the American Virgin Islands along with the aforementioned two.)

    • OK… a few corrections…

      Chamorro Standard Time should be ChST.

      Wake Time should be WAKT.

      US Virgin Islands in on Atlantic Standard Time (AST).

      I didn’t think of this but as the US is responsible for a few outlying Islands there may even be one of two more Time Zones.

  11. admin are too kind in their deliberations here – i say put the clocks back for as long as possible to leave wales and scotland in the dark before we cut them off and send them floating into the atlantic or north sea – for ever

    • That is pure Welshism you cunt. Hate speech designed to lower my self esteem.
      I was just coming round to forgiving Birmingham for stealing all our water in the 1960s, by uprooting 3 wildmen and 40 000 sheep to flood the Elan Valley.
      Consider Brum unforgiven. The cunts.

      • i spent a lot of my childhood in north wales, including being thrown out of pubs for just going in, and i’ve explored south wales a lot too in older life – i love the country – howsabout we just agree to release the Drakeford and his unruly crew instead and send him on his happy way and treasure what’s left of a fine country

    • To resemble an Ore0?
      Jesus, imagine the smell of being sandwiched between those two blåck puddings…the smell of their unwashed Turkısh delights wafting up and their natural c0ön musk making your eyes water.
      Still better than getting naked with Emily Thornberry though. Not even B&WC would be brave enough to get his tongue up her Grand Canyon-sized crack

      • Change Flabbot and Buttlard for Esther Krakue and Candace Owens and it would be a much more appealing scenario… 👍👍👍

  12. Tell me this, the clocks go back 2 months before the shortest day. Yet some cunt decided to wait 3 fucking months after to change to lighter evenings. Pisses me right off.

    • Totally agree Harry!

      It’s very noticeable in March that the clocks returning to BST could easily be enacted 3 weeks sooner !!

  13. I’ve ordered one of those light up alarm clocks that light up slowly like a sunrise. I hate the dark mornings.

    In the olden days, there wasn’t electricity, alarm clocks. Humans used to wake up when the sun woke up and went to bed when the sun went to bed.

  14. It’s about time we stopped fucking around with clocks. It’s retarded. Noon is always at noon, when the sun is at the highest.

    Personally I’d prefer BST so we get to enjoy the long summer evenings, then reduce the working day to 4 hours over winter so again we can maybe get some sun post-work.

    We need sunlight. Fuck the economy.

  15. As a retired cunt I’d far rather having an extra hour of daylight in the evening than in the morning. It’s of fuck all use to me it getting light at 7am in December when I’m still in bed.

    So my preference is for BST all year round possibly with BST+1 in summer. Greta Shitface and Sir Attenborough would surely approve of the resultant lower carbon footprint too.

    Why can’t Scotland have its own time zone anyway? It’s of zero significance to anyone else other than a few people living in the border area and should be a devolved matter.

    And finally what’s so special about the March and October dates? If we have to change the clocks why not mid-November to end-January?

  16. Longitude dictates sunrise and sunset. Stop fiddling about with the concept called time, leave the clocks alone and fuck off.

  17. I’ve just altered my clocks, and long may it continue.
    When will these european bastards learn to pipe down.

    • Easy – when we blow one of their super-trawlers to the bottom of the channel. That’ll shut the cunts up.
      Leave our fish alone , and we might buy some of your shitty wine.

  18. No sense fucking around with the clocks.

    When told the reason for daylight savings time the Old American Indian said, “Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket.”

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