Newspaper websites

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If you’re foolish enough to go on websites run by the likes of the Daily Mirror or Daily Mail, you may also be familiar with having to press ‘Ctrl+Alt+Delete’ whenever you try to navigate their site. Ad blockers? About as much use as a vegetarian restaurant in Wuhan.

Yes, I now ignore any links to most newspaper websites due to the amount of utter shit and spyware they’re infested with. You can get videos auto playing, the screen freezing as you try to scroll the page down or indeed, just the plain old frozen screen that can crash your fucking computer.

‘We see you’re using an adblocker’. Yes, to stop cunts like you shoving spyware onto my computer or just throwing on auto play videos over what I’m trying to read. No, don’t make the mistake of turning off your adblocker, just to get access. Not unless you want to see what using a ZX81 to access the internet would be like.

Calling themselves ‘news websites’ should be a matter for Trading Standards. They’re virus, spyware and pop-up advert sites,

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

41 thoughts on “Newspaper websites”

  1. I clink on the link of something I want to read then leave the tablet while the page is loading and do something useful. Like go on holiday or build an extension. Then read the 2% of what has loaded.

    • The Express is the worst. It begins loading. Then a minute later a message comes up that reads:

      “a problem occurred with this web page, so it was reloaded”

      Then the process starts over again… and again… and again… till I throw in the towel.

      Can’t be having with their cuntishness anymore.

      • The Express is generally OK for me. The Daily Fail is my personal bugbear – takes an age to load then when it finally does the article is usually shit anyway.

      • Well said RTC. I occasionally click on links to the Express’ website because the article looks quite interesting. Then the article itself has interesting links. But, the pages take ages to load so I rarely read the articles in their entirety.

        These newspapers should realise that people want to READ news articles not watch videos and have their computers slowed down by stupid fucking interactive adverts.

        And the Daily Mail is the same in many ways but worse because of its stupid Femail articles on the right-hand side for dumb fucking slappers. The only good thing about the Daily Mail is Richard Littlejohn’s column.

  2. I only go on these websites to check something I heard on the news that made me swear profusely at the screen.
    I see the Guardian is still begging for money.

    • Guardian has its hand out ,on the tap more than a Romanian big issue seller!
      Scaving cunts.
      Pop ups, stealing your data, profiling you, cookies, liked them better as newspapers
      And then only to hold cod and chips.

    • Al Groan’s journalists will be busking on the streets next DoC

  3. We have to be on the ball these days . With the Ruski and the chinks playing games , we all need to be alert with computers.

  5. Ive stopped looking at yhem because of the non-stories, videos , ads and problems scrolling.

    If I see a link to the Mail Online I rarely, if ever, click. I dont like giving those shits ad money.

  6. You would be surprised just exactly how large and how intrusive some of these web cookies are. Even when you’re prompted by the legally required privacy notices when you first access a website, there are still a number of intrusive cookies that not only interrogate your web history, the spec of your machine, your network setup, contacts, photos, documents, hard drives, OS, IP, MAC. logins etc

    And not all cookies are stored in one place; so you can’t just delete them from a default folder. Moreover, attempting to cleardown your browser history won’t get rid of all intransigent cookies.

    And its some of those cookies that shag your broadband, fuck your memory, screw your system resources and generally fuck about with your OS- and its even worse on tablets, phablets and phones.

    • It would be really helpful Techno if you could devote, say 1 hour a week to solving IsAC tech problems. The first thing I’d ask you is why the fuck does Safari keep crashing on my iPad?
      When clicking on the Safari icon it hangs for about 15 secs and then from time to time, the chosen website crashes. It’s pissing me off as the iPad involved is the newest of the three I’ve had.

      • Is safari that site with people getting passionate with wildlife?
        People like you should be locked up!
        I’ll report you.
        ☺

      • I’ve got a passion for cats!
        What’s happened to your emojis? They’ve shrunk!

      • Dunno Bertie?
        Ive no control over them,
        But they do shrink with age.
        😁

    • Are you sure about that? I thought cookies were text based code that only looked at browsing history, not actually querying into your computers undercrackers!

      • The term “cookies” is far too generalised these days, with most people thinking they’re harmless text based files.

        Most of them are, but there are “some” that go under the wire, so to speak. Similar to old-school TSRs they can infest resident memory and wait for some executables to kick in, and then bang!

        Android device are far more susceptible to this.

  7. The Daily Mail has become unreadable, and not just because of the content. The whole top half of the article is covered in some advert, usually some old cunt holding up a sign saying payout or some such shit, the bottom corner has some shit unrelated video trying to auto play, and by the time half the article has loaded behind the pop up shite, it has ‘a problem’ and has to reload, complete with ads and pointless celeb video. I don’t watch live TV and I don’t listen to commercial radio, so it’s my only brush with the cunt that is advertising. So, shove your shit website sideways up your arsehole.
    Those old cunts in the ads have become the eye of my rage, so much so, that I wish chinkyflu was nearly as bad as they say, and it wipes the lot of them out. Fat chance…

  8. The Express has gone nuts! I fully expect one morning to read -‘Armageddon to happen next Thursday! They’re obsessed by comets coming close to the earth. Predictions about the end of the world no matter how obscure the source. The most dire warnings about covid.
    I can imagine the journalists in the newsroom not looking at what’s ‘on the wires’ anymore but thumbing through Nostradamus.

    • And extreme weather that never materialises.
      ‘Weekend to be hotter than death valley!”
      =overcast.
      “Arctic front to bring 10ft of snow!!”
      =overcast.
      “Hail size of golfballs!
      Deathtoll expected to run into thousands!”
      =overcast.

      • To make himself useful, the Prince of Pork has resorted to providing online weather forecasts . . . . . . . .
        Hey, Andrew; what’s the weather forecast?

        Tonight, we’ll be dipping into the teens.

      • 😁😁
        In this crazy modern world it wouldnt surprise me to see our prince hopping on a floating weather map on morning tv like Fred Talbot.
        Few things in common!!

  9. I only see these fuckers when one of you cunts puts a link in. Then I delete the fucker before it can disgorge it’s shite.

  10. I only visit such muck on my work computer.
    The quality of the journalism presented on these sites is really quite sub par.
    Also they are absolute fucking cunts.

  11. I can’t use Xhamster Piratebay or Limetorrents without being bombarded with Viruses or Malware …

  12. Hilarious CB “No, don’t make the mistake of turning off your adblocker, just to get access. Not unless you want to see what using a ZX81 to access the internet would be like.”

    I loved played Chase HQ and other games on the Sinclair ZX Spectrum 128k. The sound when it loads… Durrrrr skik durrrr skik schhhhhhh etc. The background reminds me of scrolling pencils on a conveyor belt.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7iZIWFMk4Ts

    • I had an Epson printer many years ago, that when it went through its ink-wasting start-up routine, really did sound like “Sieg Heil ! Sieg Heil!”

  13. If I can get by the video in the corner, the big banner ad trying to cover what I’m trying to read and the general slowness then I carry on for a while and read the headlines- I dare not click on an article for fear of repeating the same obstacle course or for fear of reloading. I use The Daily Fail occasionally, find The Express unusable, Torygraph wants money, so no.

    II get very annoyed with the funeral ads, the same bullshit Shein fashion ad, meet geriatric singles in your area ads and grandma’s cure for wrinkles ad that is apparently pissing off all plastic surgeons.

    What kind of testing do these clowns do before rolling out their unusable shit???

  14. Use duckduckgo search engine, it filters all the crap and pop ups and tracking data…fuck Google

  15. My stats tell me that since last year I have blocked 11 million snooping websites on this PC alone, that about 11% of what the browser loaded.
    I used to own a computer security company and watched a rise of those dishonest cunts think they own your computer, your personal information.
    There are simple steps you can take to minimise the damage, for instance
    https://someonewhocares.org/hosts/zero/
    One of the things my computer does is send out false information when it gets a request for browsing history ect. The site I posted make the computer dump the spying websites into the digital trash can where they fuckers belong.

    The best defence is lies and if enough computers send back lies their data gathering is useless, problem is that most young people think the internet is owned by corporations. Their woke short lives just don’t know any better. Dumb cunts.

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