Congratulations to me (General Tso’s Chiggun) for notching my first ever Deadpool win after correctly predicting that Glee actress Naya Rivera, who went missing last week, would be found dead. She was 33.
On to Deadpool 169
The rules:
1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will be next to conk out.No duplicates allowed .It is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s nominations (Like Black and White cunt frequently does)
2)Anyone who nominates the World’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored
3)It must be a newsworthy cunt we have heard of.
My picks (General Tso’s Chiggun):
Tom Smith (rugby)
George Alagiah
Dick Van Dyke
Mikhail Gorbachev
June Brown
Sir Chris Bonnington
Sir Trevor McDonald
David Jason
Clint Eastwood
Alan Bennett
0
Sean Connery
Barbara Windsor
Joan Collins
Kilroy
Ozzy Osbourne
0
David Attenborough
Alan Alda
Gary Linekunt (please!)
Alex Ferguson (cunt)
John Major
1
Leonard Fenton ( Dr Legg )
Barbara Knox
Julie Goodyear
Stan Bowles
Ratko Mladic ( freedom fighter )
1
Colonel Tom Moore
Ed Asner
Val Kilmer
Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull)
Henry Kissinger
0
President Moduro of Venezuela
Barbara Windsor
Prunella Scales
Pierre Cardin
Olivia De Havilland
0
Dear old Livvie is 104 now don’t go putting the mozz on her!
1
Lord David Owen
David Steel
Marty Wild
Lord Sumption
Lady Hale
1
Bert Newton
Kamal
Paul Hogan
Donald Rumsfeld
James Hong
0
In there, General.
Tommy Docherty
Frank O’ Farrell
Patsy King
Henry Woolf
0
Oh aye, a fifth one.
Tony Barber
0
Bit jammy this one as I changed my pick of Andre Wisdom upon hearing that she was missing but I’ll take it.
1
Jammy? A very dubious “win” to say the least.
Rule 1 states “will be next to conk out”. The key word is “will” which is suggestive of a future event.
At the time it was announced she was missing the liklihood is she was already dead.
Consequently nominating her when you did would not meet the rules.
Shame on you, General.
A stewards inquiry, court martial and demotion back to the ranks is called for.
3
We don’t know when she died though – for all we know she might still have been clinging onto life when I nommed her. Don’t throw a hissy fit because I took advantage of an opportunity.
1
Hardly a hissy fit, General. Merely stating the obvious.
It’s true, the exact time of death is not known.
However, what is known is that her son was found alone on her hired boat at around 5pm local time on 8 July (around 1am 9 July UK) after a search for it was started an hour earlier. The poor boy has reportedly told investigators that he saw his mum slip under the water and not resurface. Even though he is only 4 years old his version of events has to be considered a fact.
Your nom was timed @ 11.14am on the 9 July UK, some 11 hours after the boat was first reported missing. That is a long time for her to have been holding her breath underwater.
Face it General, you’re clutching at straws. The poor woman was almost certainly dead when you nommed her.
Admit it, like a true officer and gentleman would, your “win” is highly questionable.
5
” you’re clutching at straws”…as was Miss Rivera apparently.
6
I certainly agree I’ve pulled a dirty one Dick but as we don’t know the exact time she died there’s technically nothing to stop it from counting, and I took advantage of the loophole. Perhaps it would be sensible though to put a rule in against such things in future. My sincere apologies if I came across a bit caustic – certainly wasn’t my intention.
1
Should have the buttons and epaulettes ripped from your uniform and drummed out of the regiment. Damned disgrace sir!
4
Mind you, if you think this one is controversial take a look at Deadpool 108 from a few years back – the cunter that won it did so by nominating their neighbour’s cat.
2
Let’s just say I’m not above such methods if the loophole is there Freddie. 🙂
1
Prince Philip
Prince Andrew
Ghislaine Maxwell
Richard Wilson
James Randi
0
For all those of you who fancy having a wager on how Ms. Maxwell will meet her maker:
https://www.sportsbookadvisor.com/ghislaine-maxwell-manner-of-death-odds/
1
Any holes a goal General, Great shot
Jimmy carter
Tina Turner
Betty White
Larry King
Frank Williams F1
0
Cheers. Besides I suppose it’s nowhere near as controversial as the time when whatsthefuckingpoint won with next door’s cat – remember that one?
1
Good Point – there was that baby on life support too
2
Phil Lesh (Grateful Dead bassist)
Vivien Campbell (Def Leppard)
David Crosby (CSN)
Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)
Willy Nelson (Cuntry singer)
0
The queen.
Charlie Zelenoff
Ed sheerhan
Jeremy Corbyn
Dianne “aaaargh, my eyes” Abbot
2
Surprised nobody bagged Big Jack Charlton.
I saw his name in the pool a few times.
1
Yoko fucking Ono
Danglebert Pimpledick
Kenny Lynch
Graham Nash
Lyndsey Buckingham
0
Kenny Lynch kicked the bucket in December.
0
Harvey Price
Lily Allen
Meghan Markle
Jeremy Corbyn
Some instagram ‘influencer’
0
Bollocks. Cuntflap already bagged Corbyn.
I’ll have Katie Price instead.
0
Harvey Price. You savage.
2
Yes, and your point is? 😁
2
When Harvey does cop it, the old slag Katie will cash in on him when he’s dead even more than she did when he’s alive. The bitch will probably sell tickets for his funeral. What a cunt.
3
She’ll have to sell tickets for the massive hole and coffin that’s going to be needed.
Good shot GTC.
I’ll have
Roger Daltrey
Brian May
John Motson
Jon Snow
Kenny Sansom
0
Emperor Akihito
Harry Belafonte
Frankie Valli
Bill Turnbull
Dick Van Dyke
0
John Carpenter
Al Leong
Hal Holbrook
Derren Nesbitt
Chrissie Hynde
Nice shootin’ General…
0
Geoffrey Palmer
Olivia Newton John
Jet Black
Alan Arkin
Kenneth Cope
0
The Dalai Lama
Rupert Murdoch
Diego Maradona
Alex Ferguson
Eve Marie Saint
Well struck, Tso. No idea who this bint is.
1
Yegad, Somebody’s chavved my purple-faced Ferguson again. Píkeys, thieves, tinkering swine, etc
I will have Dick van Dyke if he’s still alive.
0
Sorry Cap’n Van Dyke’s my fish.
0
Ah, beg pardon Tso.
I’ll have Barry Humphries, the boy from Moonee Ponds.
0
Brigitte Bardot
Bobby charlton
Patricia greene (The Archers)
June spencer (The Archers)
Max Baer Jr (Beverly Hillbillies)
was going to trawl the interweb for the names of some rappers from the USA as they seem to get shot at a rate of at least once a week but can’t be arsed
2
Arthur Scargill
Juliette Gréco
Helios Creed
Renate Knaup-Kroetenschwanz
Imelda Marcos
1
Irene Papas
George Shultz
Robert Fyfe
Marsha Hunt
Roger Corman
0
Marky Ramone
Eric clapton
Beast of Bolsover
Harvey price
Suzanne vega
1
Harvey taken have stanley johnson.
1
Sorry miserable. Already bagged and tagged Harvey.
How the hades did General guess Naya Riviera?
1
No probs Odin, first come first served etc
If Harvey croaks gonna need a shipping container for a coffin!😁👍👍
2
You savage.
2
Again, yes.
If I win, that will be £100k of taxpayer cash per year saved on the special licky bus that Harvey needs to transport it from Sussex to a London ‘special’ school every day.
Mostly where it spends it’s time being restrained from raping the fridge.
On top of all the other shit that it’s whore of a mother claims for.
Her loss. Our gain. 😁
4
Angela lansbury, willie mays, John lowe(darts), Russell Watson, camilla Parker bowles
0
Tony Blair Back to old CuntyMort. Please Lord, him and his Mrs at once please
Cherie Blair
Anita Harris
Cliff Richard
Gorge Takei
Good darts General Tso’s Chiggun
1
Stanley Baxter
Bill Ward
John Astin
Luke Rhinehart
Dickie Davies
Bang on, General.
2
William Shatner.
Bill Wyman.
Billy Idol.
Lady C.#
Norman Lloyd. (Ha got him back).
0
Eddie Richardson
Freddie Foreman
Sammy The Bull Gravano
John Gotti Junior
Tony Green (Bullseye)
0
J R Hartley
Captain Birdseye
Peter North (Porn actor)
Steve ‘Stop Brexit’ Bray
Polly fucking Toynbee
2