Tik Tok

I nominate Tik Tok, the new platform for complete cunts.

Anybody seen this crap?

They are all there. All the talentless, tattooed twats who dance around in their house or garden miming to hip-hop “songs” or doing duets of ‘you’re the one that I want’ with other fuckwits.

You don’t need to be able to sing or play an instrument or make up a funny story.

No, you just move about in your chav clothes, poking your fat tongue out, pulling stupid expressions and adding ‘special effects’ in a pathetic attempt to make the whole yawningly boring episode seem interesting.

Fucking show-off cunts.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

Right, I have to nominate Tiktok adverts. More specifically, that one with the really annoying dark key called Shem and his mother. I swear, every third YouTube video I see has this advert either beforehand or as a midroll. I won’t share it here so as to spare the piss of my fellow cunters from completely evaporating, but it is so ear-splittingly awful that it makes me want to put my phone through the fucking wall.

Everything about it – from the mock Jamaican accents to the faux-childlike voices – enrages me like no other advert, including the ones featuring those bastard meerkats, possibly can. Fuck you Tiktok – selling your users’ data to the Chink government is bad enough but this advert is a new low

Nominated by General Tso’s Chiggun

53 thoughts on “Tik Tok

  1. Although I agree with this nomination, tiktok has kept the kids entertained during lockdown. However I cant abide the 56 year old woman who I walk the dogs with showing me her tiktok videos. Fucking grow up.
    Kids are now choosing to watch their peers on social media rather than getting sucked into a lot of the celebrity shite and manufactured Simon Cowell bollocks on TV.
    As for the Shem adverts they are almost as annoying as the cartoon man trying to save the fish. Please tell me other cunters are having that one rammed down their throats.
    Good morning.

  2. We should join them.

    I look forward to seeing Unkle Terry in all his finery miming along to “Something’s cooking in the Kitchen”,

    • Or Miserable Northern Cunt giving us his version of ” I Touch Myself “…the noise alone’ll do in his case…I have no desire to see some bearded 7 footer in a bowler-hat and a basque acting out the lyrics…however keen he might be.

    • A quick update of the latest post from that woke bitch in the village…”Song of the Day: Think of Me

      I share this today with some purposeful discomfort. My choir singers know that I stay away from ‘African songs’. I do this for a number of reasons.
      1. Africa is a continent not a country, which African nation/ ethnic group/ language/ tradition is the song from?
      2. Who wrote it? Who arranged it? It’s not ok to not credit to composer/ arranger when it’s European so why is it acceptable when it’s from the African continent? If you don’t know then you should say that before you publish the arrangement.
      3. Is the person who published the arrangement making money from people of colour without their knowledge/ consent?
      3.I need to be very careful that a want to be culturally curious doesn’t become cultural appropriation. As a traditional singer I am aware of authenticity and integrity when I sing. I am aware of this for my choir singers too”
      ******************
      For Fucks Cunting Sake.

      PS…apologies for straying off subject.

      • She sounds wonderful.
        Worries a bit about offending the dark keys doesnt she?
        Dont ask just take, colonialism was great!👍👍

      • Morning Sir Fiddler.
        I for one would particularly enjoy any sarcastic periodic review of things in the village.
        In my mind I can see you paying a visit, parodying an earlier stunt of yours in a small car with a sunroof and megaphone.
        Most small villages see the good natured and well intended benefits of a witchfinder general.

      • Next time you take the hounds out Dick you should collect their chit and chuck it all over the silly bitch’s house.

      • Jesus Christ. Send the demented harridan to Bongoland for a month.

        How the fuck does anyone not punch her in the face? I am not a violent man and anyone hitting a woman is an utter cunt…but that one would push my morals to the fucking limit if I were trapped in a lift with her for an hour or two listening to her shite.

        To be fair, I’d probably end up smashing my brains in against the walls of the lift within a few minutes.

        Sir Fiddler, could you perchance arrange to use a shit lorry to spray her home with shite? Just say it went off by itself.

        Go on lad, you know it makes sense.

  3. People don’t see the conditioning that is going on these days. We are performinhg to the prompts of those who are playing us……”fetch boy !”

  4. But don’t forget the heroic tik toc nurses, they kept me smiling as the UK economy went down the hitter and a whole new world was born.

    We may be sitting around in rags eating other humans in the near future but at least we have the dancing nurses.

    One small aside here, shouldn’t they have been working instead? caring for poorly people or cleaning out shit pans?

  5. Heard the phrase but didn’t know what it meant. Now i’ve read this thread i’m none the wiser. Is it gay?

  6. We didn’t need TikTok videos to keep us quiet when we were kids, we had the belt. Cheaper, no shit music, and it stopped you growing up to be a vacuous cunt. An audio visual cunt trumpet.

  7. TIk Tok is for Dark Keys and people with a very low IQ 👎👎
    Best avoided if you have half a brain cell👍👍

  8. The platform is owned by ch1nks, so worth just for that reason alone.
    General Tso’s Chiggun: Youtube is fuckung well annoying with their bastard ads every couple of minutes, so if you’re viewing on your phone, use “Youtube Vanced” instead.
    It’s simply the youtube app with the ads stripped out.

  9. It comes from Chy-na.

    And is used by clueless pre and teen girls who are then targeted by online middle aged greasy fat slob predators.

    Kill it with napalm.

  10. I don’t know much about tic toc or have any wish to. I will say, however, I’ve been sent some spectacularly funny vids of tic tocers that have been nicked, edited, dubbed, narrated, and or set to inappropriate music. Thus propelling the said tic tocer from soft cunt to mega cunt in under 30 seconds. Brilliant!

  11. From what I’ve seen it lets you watch 15 seconds of cunts being annoying, which is 15 seconds too much. Talentless cunts, as Lord Helpuss says.

    It seems to be designed for people who find karaoke too artistically demanding.

  12. Tik Tok is just another tool that is slowly chipping away at the IQ and self-esteem of society. Lip-synching, jigging, pointing and pouting cunts. No excuses for this shite.

  13. Tik tok is for wannabee Hollywood actor cunts who think they’re going to get recognised online and given a multi million dollar acting career – ooooh look at me, I’ve gone viral.

    Gone are the days of the traditional route of getting into the industry by pimping your ass or fanny out, sliding your way up the grease pole of success.

    This is another bunch of BAME, WOKE and pussy cloe millennial snowflakes – a generation of people disconnected with the real world, expecting everything to come to them cos ‘I know a lot ’bout social media innit’.

    Cunts don’t know what a hard days work looks like…

  14. Like others on here, when it comes to “soshul meeja” I have no interest in it. What little I know of it is based on snippets gleaned from mags read in doctors/dentists waiting rooms. What I don’t understand is how some of these jerks become “stars” with nigh on 40 million followers (see https://www.elitedaily.com/p/here-are-the-12-most-popular-tiktok-accounts-you-should-be-following-21786510) for what seems to be bad lip-synching or “dad dancing” à la Top of the Pops in the 70s. Just what is the fascination of watching some attention seeking ADHD misfits devoid of the ability to socially interact face to face make an arse of themselves? Is there a CIA type conspiracy going on where these pointless apps have subliminal messages added to make the modern generations gullible, malleable morons?

  15. You’ve just got to love tiktok. I’m addicted . I’m on it all the time with big Paul doing our thing.
    Catch us doing our ABBA tiktok routine.

      • A request, Cuntstable? If so, then speaking on behalf of everyone, thanks for the offer but no thanks. A liver couldn’t cope with the amount of alcohol necessary to achieve the paralytic drunkeness level that would be required to even contemplate performing such an act.

  16. Great cunting, I must say! Yet another social media platform for utter mouthbreathers that reinforces thinking people’s opinions that the users of said platform are even bigger cunts than originally thought. How many platforms do we fucking need?!! We need more railway platforms for this shower of bacterial vaginosis-riddled cunts. The icing on the cake would be a video of one of them accidentally walking over the edge of the platform because they were so immersed in their phones (akin to that silly South Korean gook bitch who fell to her demise a few years back while jumping up and down like a total spaz at the edge of the Seven Sisters cliff while someone took her photo). What a pile of cunt!

  17. I’ve heard Tik Tok is crammed with cunts.
    But I’ve also head that there are some nice tits on there too.
    Only heard, mind….

  18. Tik tok being a Chinese built app. And yes it can switch on the camera without your permission unless you reset your mobile phone permissions. So not only do they give us Wu Flu, the fuckers are watching us die

  19. The only platform I would like to see these Tik tok cunts on Has a noose and a trap door floor….
    Talentless Attention Seeking Cunts

  20. A bit of sleuthing reveals that the Shem cunt is a supposed ‘comedian.’ Based on those adverts he’s about as funny as kidney stones.

  21. Tik tok?
    More like Chinkywink Nonce-Cock.
    I bet BBC three are already planning a highlights show for their audience of sexual degenerates.

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