The Mental Elf

Be aware my friends the Elf is everywhere. The Royal Family, the politicians, the rich cunts, the slebs never stop warning us about the Elf.

Some peacefuls stab complete strangers in the street….. is this connected to their “kill all the Infidels” ideology? Of course not…..they’ve been visited by the Elf. Hate what’s happening to your country, importing cheap labour to undercut your standard of living? You have been infected by the Elf disease. Don’t like being in the queue behind the peacefuls, pikeys, trannies, poofs and lezzas? Fuck me the Elf is renting out your brain and paying fuck all.

Don’t think you can shout “ fuck off, i’m not mental, there’s fuck all wrong with my mind.” That’s exactly what mental cunts always say, everyone knows that.
Oh yes, it’s an old trick used by the Soviets, the Nazis and many other totalitarian regimes. Oppose the Establishment, ask too many questions and you get a visit from the Elf. Coming to kick your door in very soon.

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

75 thoughts on “The Mental Elf

  1. Hehehe, great nom Freddie!👍
    The mental Elf gets about doesnt he?
    I was thinking I was rightfully angry at being cheated by my goverment, but turns out it was the mental Elf!
    Ive been told not to worry about it its far to complicated for me, and to take the pills that help me forget…eh, stuff??

    • Afternoon Miserable, its a lot to take in isn’t it? After feeling guilty for my white privilege, unconscious racial bias, slavery and toxic masculinity, I now have the ‘Elf’?

      • Evening LL, yes quite confusing!
        I never realised I was mental, dont know if theres benefits im owed?
        Maybe a invalidity car?
        I’m still coming to terms with my white privelege, is there a expiry date because I never used mine?
        Yes toxic masculinity, didnt know I suffered from that either until recently, told off about being macho!
        I didnt realise carrying yourself like a man with manly ways was poisonous, hope anyone I infected hasnt sprouted a beard and stopped bedwetting.
        Its hard to cope with all these ailments can I get a homehelp?
        Maybe a shapely Scandinavian support worker?

      • So many ailments, it seems available cures include going to university or joining a political party to be around likeminded people.

      • I blame my grandad LL.
        He was toxic masculine!
        WW2 he racially bullied germans and the japanese, its spread to my dad then me, maybe he had mental elf issues?
        Know in the 70s/ early 80s before he died hed look at the way the country was heading since the war and say
        “I must of been bleedin mental”😁

      • Evening Bertie!
        You well?
        Doubt theyd give grandad a bayonet anymore on grounds of elf and safety,
        He was that racist and toxic they gave him a medal as a reprimand.
        Think he should of ‘took the knee’ mice elf.😁

      • Evening Miserable. I’m fine thanks.
        Get yourself over to the Isle of Man – all the pubs are open and Okells is a really nice bitter.

      • Are they really?
        I do like the Isle of Man!
        Only been twice, but like their attitude, common sense, no messing, might see if the missus fancies going next year?
        They must keep the mainland at arms lenth eh?😁

      • Yeh, they’ve had no new virus cases for a month and have opened the pubs completely.
        I used to take school groups over there years ago and we had a great time. Of course, cheap travel to Europe buggered up the tourist trade.

      • You’re right though. They are isolated until further notice – an indication of what might have been possible if we’d lockdowned sooner.

      • I once made a point in the local paper that rather than giving the raspberries Motability grants which they seem to spend on Range Rovers and German SUVs, they should go back to being issued with the little blue three wheeler Invacars. Football matches aren’t the same without them all lined up on the touch-line.

        Bloody hell – what a load of unpleasant responses I got. Ungrateful cunts.

  2. Not wrong Freddie, used to be transsexuality was a mental health disorder and being a bit low resulted into being told chin up and carry on.

    Fast forward to today and bring a transsexual is lauded and everyone else is on antidepressants, no one ever stops to ask why the authorities would want ever larger percentages of the population living on happy pills.

    Amazing the questions the MSM never ask, indeed the MSM encourage everyone of us to think about our mental health and seek help.

    Chemical lobotomy’s free on the NHS.

  3. Fuck it.. I’ve had sir Ian Holm on Deadpool for fucking ages.
    Just come out of my three month stretch and my fellow ass bandit pops his clogs.
    What a cunt.

      • I thought he’d been married three times? (to women…real ones with vaginas…real vaginas not nobs turned inside out). Think he has kids too. Could be wrong can’t be arsed checking.

        I thought he was a chutney ferret too, but perhaps he wasn’t?

    • A “three month stretch”, MPG? The mind boggles! That amount of stretching could make you invulnerable to a pool party at Barrymore’s gaff.
      Seriously though, welcome back…have you been detained at her Maj’s pleasure?!

      • Indeed not, Mr F.
        Ever since I paid that solicitor bird to produce that report picking holes in their “evidence” and the blatant threat at the end that we’ll go straight to the Financial Services Authority, I haven’t heard a dicky bird. That was 3-ish weeks ago. Bunch of parasites.

    • Ian Holm a poofter? Well I never… I blame the wife for me not knowing, she usually fills me in on unsolicited trivia concerning celebricunts lives. As does ISAC.

      • He’s not a Woofter! Been married four times with five kids.
        Even Schofield would be pushed to keep up that pretence!
        These luvvies really suffer for their art! 😅

      • I believe he’s a old version of Russel Brand (without the utter cunt factor).

        A bit camp, but only liked the minge (and chased it about it seems).

      • Ian Holm was fucking ace in The Homecoming:

        “I said to her, now look here, why don’t you stuff this iron mangle up your arse? I had a good mind to give her a workover there and then, but as I was feeling jubilent with the snow-clearing I just gave her a short-arm jab to the belly and jumped on a bus outside.”

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv4-XI1hD9o

        😂

  4. I like this elf cunt.
    Maybe he’s from Chy-na? Nah probably not,too happy.
    I hope he’s related to his African cousin Idris Ebola.
    He can infect Black Lies Matter all day and night.
    Soppy cunt central.

  5. The Mental Elf will be the majority by this time next year, the media and every campaigning cunt (yes including the royal cunt) seem to be promoting it, now people are questioning themselves, ‘is there something wrong with me, I don’t feel like I have any issues’. Well don’t worry that in itself will be covered by the Elf.
    Having a bad day will be diagnosed as mental elf, the millennials will see mental health issues as a right of passage, if you haven’t had it there is something Seriously wrong with you.
    Just wait for the categorisation of the elf and how the disadvantaged don’t have access to the Elf, we need to do more to make sure disadvantaged families have the best elf possible.

    Bunch of soft arse cunts!

    • South East Asian men more likely to die of Covid…… that will put the shits up the fuckers!!
      Maybe all those cunts desperate to get free flights back to UK in April will be regretting coming back 😂

  6. The elf is not an issue for me as I enjoy the protection of the Magners pixies.

  7. I must be mental, I’m hallucinating, the bbc are telling me more black men died in ratio to white men. This is due to systemic racism.

    I’ll write the solution for David Lammy, save him the trouble.

    To combat immigrants living in houses of multiple occupancy we must build a house for every individual BAME in the country. If we can’t build enough houses fast enough we will throw some white people out of their houses.

    Poverty, every BAME person in the UK, citizen or not, to be given one thousand pounds a week subsistence allowance.

    To eliminate inequality of healthcare every BAME in the county to receive private healthcare paid for by the tax payer.

    These small steps will go a small way towards readdressing the constant racism of every white person.

    Told you I was mental, no one would suggest any of that, not even Lammy.

    • It’s already been done – Mugabe got there first. And that was a great success for the black man wasn’t it?

      • Indeed

        Customer: How much dis loaf of bread?

        Shopkeeper: 50 trillion dollars…100 trillion dollars…200 trillion dollars..sorry it’s da inflation…500 trillion…kill da honky…700 trillion

    • “Told you I was mental, no one would suggest any of that, not even Lammy.”

      I wouldn’t count on it.

      I’m going to respond to libtard conversations I get drawn into with sarcy stuff like in your post from now on. If an employer has me on a diversity course I’m going to suggest shit like that. Leave them unsure if I mean it or not.

      How far could you push this shit with these idiots?

      “White people to be paid half of what a black person is paid for the same job as repayment for systemic racism and slavery. White males to be sterilised after having more than one child to promote more diversity. All MPs must be BAME for the same reasons” etc

      I bet they daren’t say you’re going too far. If they do, I’ll say I’m reporting them for racism and not promoting diversity.

  8. I’ve been wondering lately if I have actually gone mental. I wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told me 30 years ago that a ” Tory” Govt. would wreck the economy to cover up their own incompetence….that men could become women…..that our history would be vilified because of some screaming vocal minority…that we would be powerless to protect our own borders from hordes of filth and spongers…that the Police would become a force more concerned with the “rights” of criminals than the rights of victims…that Sharia Law would trump British law in some parts of the Country…..that ” Run,Hide and Tell” would be the advice given when faced with danger…that “hate” crime” and “bullying” were more important than real crime….but most of all I wouldn’t have believed that we would just sit back and take it.

    Perhaps I have gone Mental and am just imagining it all…I certainly hope so because if this is the reality, I’m not sure that I want anything to do with it.

    • What ho, Mr F…how goes it oop North?
      I must say, the last couple of weeks have been most liberating…I’ve gone from using soft, gentle, almost progressive phrases such as “göllý, c0ön, j1gabö0, tår baby”, etc right back to loudly (at work) using the word “ni 99 er”. Ever since the statues started getting toppled and the pathetic police knelt in front of the assorted protester rabble. Beyond disgraceful, those chicken shit bastards

      • Oh. it’s gan OK, Mr. C-K….just don’t remember ever being quite so doubtful about just what the future holds…and caring as less.

      • I’m not doubtful in the slightest. In the latter half of 2020, working / middle class white men will be fucked over even more, England’s enemies both foreign and domestic will continue their evil advances to undo our entire history, Bill Gates will force everyone to have his Ch1nký flu innoculation (probably containing tracking nanites).
        And black persons might finally learn to eat their fried chiggun with a knife and fork.

      • Knife and fork? Tools of white oppression, stopping the black man and the chinese from taking their place at the dinner table. Such bourgeois cultural imperialism will no longer be tolerated. To the Gulag with you, where you will learn to eat with one hand and wipe your arse with the other.

    • Dick: You also wouldn’t have believed that one person’s ill informed and ignorant opinion would be more important than someone else’s facts. Or disagreeing, putting forward a different opinion or standing up for yourself could result in your life and livelihood being irreparably damaged.

      Sadly you’re not imagining any of this and neither are we. Lunatics…asylum…you know the phrase.

      • Evening I.Y. ….wondering just how it’ll all end tbh….it’s not going to be pretty,that’s for sure.

      • Chin up Dick!
        Not a great deal we can do about it, I’ve no influence on anything, youve lost your marbles,
        May as well just carry on as normal!
        See a chance to stick the boot in take it, but theres that many snowflakes we are entering a new ice age.

      • The ordinary working people of London should sell up.
        Liberals should stay, but they aren’t. They’re heading west along the M4 and down to the south coast. They love diversity, but dont want to be butchered for it.
        London is becoming a cross between Dubai and Los Angeles, without the weather.

  9. It’s a little known fact but the first person to take a knee was hired by Tonya Harding….

    • I like to think that Nancy Kerrigan forgave that mental case Tonya Harding and that they lezzed up extensively.

      • My mental elf is deteriorating by the day. Can’t take my pet to the vets, can’t go to the dentist, can’t get a haircut. Just found out I can’t get breakdown cover online because I don’t have a mobile phone. They won’t accept a landline number. Either the whole world’s going mad or I am..

      • Didn’t Harding do a porno? She was a bit rough mind. Kerrigan was worth a scuttle though.

  10. Latest mental news from Yankland. The stepmother of the copper who shot that cunt in Atlanta last week has been sacked from her job because her colleagues feel “uncomfortable” working with her. Fuck me, why bother with a trial? But I suppose if we are responsible for “crimes” committed by cunts with the same skin colour 200 years ago it makes sense that we should be responsible for “crimes” committed by our relatives yesterday, even before they’ve been convicted!! Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me.
    Don’t tell me i’m mental you cunts…….we’re running the asylum now.

  11. The whole country has gone fucking mental.

    Footballers giving black power salutes before games, imagine one throwing a nazi salute (white power) and seeing if that flew? To me, a black power salute is the same. But not only is it not criticised, it’s fucking praised!

    I’m at the point of just going ‘Fuck it then. Let’s have no cops and put the dark keys in control of everything.’

    The thick as shit virtue signalling champagne socialists will soon change their fucking tunes.

    The only knee these self hating honkies should take is the one they may take one day begging for our forgiveness.

    They can fuck right off.

    • And Marcus Rashford (new Minister for Work and Pensions, it seems) was one who threw out the black Nazi salute, so fuck him, the cunt!

      Mind you, it did ‘seem’ like a Spurs honky player refused to take a knee. I could be totally wrong and he may just have stood up a few seconds earlier than everyone else. But as the camera panned all were on their fucking knees apart from that cunt. It was a honky centre half. I turned it off at that point (I’m seeing if any cunt will refuse to do it).

      • Crap! I missed that almost protest by not kneeling right. I joined the game 6 minutes in because I could not stomach seeing my team’s players belittle themselves like that.

  12. I watched the Spurs v Man U game off and on.
    Seems that Black Dives Matter. Well done Pogba. Happy now?

  13. I’m mental. But not an elf. I’m a mental cunt. Shame there are no blacks in our village, well apart from a decent Sikh family. Who are good people. I would have a burning fucking cross on any kaffir’s lawn. Enough is enough.

  14. I didn’t watch it, I refused to watch it, and I refused to pay to watch it. In the old days United vs Spurs was one of my top fixtures, but now they can fuck off and the United I knew and loved as a Stretford Ender is dead.

    I wonder, who was the man of the match? Was it Black Lives Matter? Could it have been that other lad, what’s he called, Black Lives Matter? Or was it the striker, Black Lives Matter?

    What a fucking farce, and they can stick their black terrorist salute up their arses.
    Manchester United FC RIP

    • It’s heartbreaking in a way. Been a gooner since I was 7. Been to countless games, home and away. Seen the likes of Brady as a little kid, then Adams, Wright, Bergkamp, Henry, Vieira, Van Persie etc etc.

      Now, I just can’t watch anymore. Seeing the players giving black power salutes and taking the knee?

      I’m done. Unless there is a huge turnaround and apology of some kind, but I can’t see it.

      Fuck the cunts, they’ll be getting no money from me again.

      • Went to that final in 79. Brady turned United inside out. Gary Bailey fucked up and Dave Sexton was a cunt.

        I do miss those United vs Arsenal games. Keane vs Viera. When giants walked the earth.

      • I was at primary school when we sold Brady to Juventus. I was in tears for days lol. Remember the final well. That was Brady very close to his best really. I think he got footballer of the year playing for pretty much a mid table team at the time (Arsenal). Not many do that.

      • Could not agree with Norm or Cunty any more than I do.

        I’m so underwhelmed and uninterested in the football I can’t even be bothered to call Cunty’s team the Woolwich Nomads.

        Seriously though, this is a crock of shit. Someone else on ISAC said something along the lines of the EPL being quite happy there’s no supporters right now. It avoids abuse and chanting from the stands about the hypocrisy of siding with Black Looting Murderers. It is an absolute disgrace. Even the cunts in the NBCSports studio were waxing lyrical about these ‘powerful moments’ and ‘solidarity’ and other cunty made-for-tv one liners. Puke inducing – utterly puke inducing.

      • Sky are the worst, but I heard they toned it down a little from the last time. Still way too libtarded though. I didn’t watch the Utd Spurs game but I heard Tyler was sucking Rashford off again, the cunt.

        And yes, I too would be reminding you of winning the title at Shite Fart Lane, but I can’t be bothered anymore 😉

      • Cunty: LOL. I have no recollection of that event. I’ll assume you’re making it up. 😉

        “Tyler was sucking Rashford off again” – I got tears in my eyes I laughed so hard at that. Cheers mate.

  15. Oh aye, Man City wearing Black Lives Matter on their shirts when their owners have one of the worst human rights records in the world, ban Israelis from entering Abu Dhabi and imprison anyone who dares to disagree with them is an even bigger joke than their performance in the 81 Cup Final. And that was a fucking joke!

  16. Manchester City Council “stands in solidarity” with BLM protesters – while maintaining its “strategic partnership” with the United Arab Emirates, where workers are still exploited and abused.

    What a load of cunts.

  17. Football with no fans.. Just what is the fucking point?!
    Oh yeah, they want mongs and cunts to pay Sky and BT wads of cash for the privilege.
    If I want to fund supporters of black terrorism, I’ll buy an album by those Public Enemy cunts.

    Fuck right off.

    • Playing the remaining games has everything to do with money. I read somewhere that the clubs would have had to re-pay Sky etc. £380M for not playing the games. Sod safety. Sod the fans. Sod outrage at the violence and destruction metered out on innocent people by Black Looting Murderer supporters. Yeah, fuck all that – just count the dosh. Enjoy it EPL clubs – it’s now blood money. YOU are now officially part of the problem.

  18. I tbink this country has seen the complete failure of meaningful democracy. Parliament has done everything it could to block Brexit, a tory government was voted in with an 80 seat majority and where are we?… facing a woke cultural revolution organised by the establishment and corporation.
    10 years of Tory rule and it’s more left wing than Blair.

    • And elegantly brief synopsis Cuntamus – for the solution to the conundrum, follow the money…

    • I made the mistake of being pleased Chelsea have sign Timo Werner, but why?
      The fans are less and less part of the Premiership than ever , with TV deals and sponsorship bringing in the bigger share of revenue than matchday.
      I may simply ignore EPL and watch the Bundesliga where fans have a bit more of a say.

  19. If you’re in sheep-shagger land, the Mental Elf is doing overtime. I went into our offices one day, compared to the previous occasion, to be greeted by the Hazmat-tape and signs on every fucking door and possible surface about ‘keep your 2 metre distance – stay safe’. (DON’T get me started on ‘stay safe’ or I’ll blow a distinctly unpretty gasket.)

    Then driving merrily along the M4 towards home last night, one of those motorway overhead signs – ‘CAMPSITES STILL CLOSED – STAY HOME’.

    Stay Home??? STAY FUCKING HOME??? Jesus Christ this ‘They Live’ agenda is so bare naked and clear, I’d laugh about it if I wasn’t fucking rocking in a corner in despair about it. NO-ONE IS FUCKING DYING, and yet they’re still trying to force-feed us this shit, and the sycophantic hordes are capitulating.

Comments are closed.