The (f)arts

I nominate The Arts.

Ballet, opera, theatre, music, art.

We all know that 1000s of people depend on “the arts” for a living. Dancers, singers, musicians, actors, luvvies, box office staff, prompters, lighting engineers, tea makers, artists et al. And we further realise what a wuff time the poor darlings are having right now wiv no audiences. But why should they be subsidised anyway? Grants for this project, awards for that “workshop”. How is it that the posh middle classes get free money to support what THEY like while there is little or none for majority interests such as sport?

The argument is that these splendid troupers are guardians of the nation’s culture and well-being. That we could not live without the wondrous “work” they do in uplifting our dreary little proletariat existence.

Well, we seem to have survived for a good few months without this army of pretentious prats. I don’t hear of many folk sobbing because they can’t book to see Les Miserables or even Mama Mia. Let alone watching impossibly thin twats in tights poncing across a stage or improbably fat gits wailing in Italian.

If (posh) people want this stuff then let them pay for it without taxpayers propping them up. The full price.

The rest of us simply don’t need this array of subsidised snobbery.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

38 thoughts on “The (f)arts

    • The arts have been infested with this shit too. The BBC recently had an Opera on with a ‘gender bending gayness/diversity’ angle to it.

      Fucking maggots.

    • Good read that, cheers.I would argue though that the rejection of Christianity in the UK has led to a loss of community spirit and allowed things like this to go on (and for the growth of islam).

      I’m not particularly religious myself, but I think the rejection and ridicule of Christianity has helped speed all this nonsense up.

      Mind you, the church has gone woke too so it’s not much use now anyway!

      We’re either fucked and on the way to becoming slaves in our own lands or heading for civil war, unless our ‘leaders’ get a fucking grip. And quickly.

      • Get rid of one religion and another will replace it.
        Too many people out there who can’t live without a belief system.

  1. The circle will turn, these clowns will jump onto another bandwagon in order to parasite their social media peer approval and bask in their sanctimonious smugness once more.
    Then one day the worship will falter and ultimately stop as education is enlightenment.
    What’s next we ask, year zero?

  2. I have a theory that nobody really likes ” The Arts”…it’s all just The Emperors New Clothes….
    Painting…why bother?…I could use the cheapest disposable camera and come away with a better likeness of the subject that all the “Old Masters” put together could ever manage.

    Ballet/ Opera/theatre…. Bunch of sexually sinister Nancy-Boys and bulimic or grossly obese tarts. The males (and I use the term very loosely) play “dress-up” just as they did in childhood…and seem to have a rather unhealthy interest in “childhood” all together. The females seem to bring “Daddy Issues” with them from their childhood too.

    Music….Cunts scraping at a violin while some fat Wanker warbles away in Wop are the worst..if an animal sounded in such pain you’d shoot it.

    I’d ban The Arts and place anyone involved or supportive on some kind of Register before they inflict their “luvviness” on an innocent public.

    Fuck them.

    • You forgot the conductors DF, some frizzy haired mad professor type waving half a pair of chopsticks (LYB) about while the real performers thrash furiously away on their funny banjos and twiddly drain pipes.

      • Being a man of sophistication and deep appreciation for high culture I like the Arts.
        Sculpture, painting, music, photography,
        All of it.
        Like to sit eating a chippy tea in my undercrackers to Wagner though he was great in Hart to Hart even if he did murder his wife.

      • I bet you have a copy of that painting where the dogs are all sat round a table playing cards in your “lounge”

        Common…very,very common you are,MNC.

      • Its true Dick sadly, common.
        But!..got 2 pieces of commissioned art in our living room!
        A view of winnats pass to the Devils Arse ( not making these up) and a image of the moorland atop Kinder Scout by a. Photographer called Phil Sproston from Castleton.
        See?
        Arty as fuck me!😁

      • I have noticed the lack of ‘arts’ at Fiddler University. But then, I have rarely ventured out of the Union bar and my place at the Chancellor’s table as he bellows foul-mouthed insults at individuals he believes are carriers of ‘The Gayness.’

      • I haven’t noticed many of the normally highly vocal and visible Gay/Tranny etc. contingent on these Dark-Key marches… It’s as I suspected..The Gays are obviously vile racists…if there’s a statue of Larry Grayson it should be spattered across the face with white paint…it’s what he would have wanted.

        Morning Mike.

      • You’re right..bunch of fucking Nutters. You could have the “greatest” orchestra in the world playing and the only part that I’d enjoy would be the “boom,crash,bang,wallop” as I gave them both barrels from my 12 bore.

        Morning CS
        Morning All.

        Sir Henry Wood was a pointy-stick brandishing noise polluter.

      • “Sir Henry Wood was a pointy-stick brandishing noise polluter.”

        Another laugh out loud moment.

        Yeah, the fucking limb-tourettes,apprentice electrician dancing cunt.
        It’s all gone very Simon Rattle.
        Good morning fellow cunters all.

  3. Want to go to the theatre, ballet, a play, a museum, last night of the remainers?
    Sound, crack on – just don’t expect me to fund your ticket unless you are prepared to come to my local and pay a quarter of the cost of every pint I have.
    No? – Well fuckoff then.

  4. I’m torn on this one. Sink or swim for the arts is an attractive argument but without subsidy you end up with Simon fucking Cowell. I don’t want to get drawn into that debate but if these arty farty cunts don’t stop giving me their faux commie, woke lectures they’re going to get their cellos shoved up their arses and their Jackson Pollocks kicked very hard. Wankers.

    • Van Gogh never sold a painting in his life and he made heaps of good pictures.

      And he never had a grant just a bit of help from his brother and the asylum.

      Not many knows this but he cut off his ear because he was fuckin’ HUNGRY.

      Never get good art from a well paid or fed artist, the cunts have to SUFFER to come up with the good stuff.

    • Aye Gary yet lives and gets awsomer every year. I wish he could be regenerated as a 20 year old so he could do it all again. It’s one “ numan “ rights I’m all for!

    • Simon Cowell’s output is Wagnerian compared to Feminists bleeding on bedsheets.

  5. If we don’t fund the arts we end up with another Hitler. One arts council grant away from apocalypse we are.

  6. I have never understood why, given their filthy rich followers and patrons, ballet and opera should get so much public money (I believe they even get grants from the National Lottery, something the PDSA doesn’t get, among other more deserving causes).

    Ballet and opera are the equivalent of poofs football, and I would ensure that none of the Boggs millions ever get wasted on them, not even the Ballet Starmer, though God knows, the cost of their principal ballerina, Dame Kweer’s costume bills must be enormous with the heavy duty corsets needed. Let Jonathan Ashworth buy his own codpieces.

  7. Mrs K is quite keen on going to the theatre and on the occasions I’ve joined her, I’ve got to admit I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    Jersey Boys, Mama Mia, Wicked, My Fair Lady…..all excellent, in my opinion, even though I’m no expert. I think I’d rather pay to watch those than the latest Hollyweird woke bollocks.

    • I make you right Kiwi. You’d have to threaten me with a red hot iron up my bum to get me to watch a musical on the telly but live is a totally different experience. If you go to a music festival you are bound to be impressed by some band or performer you always thought was total shit. Gary Numan is one that springs immediately to mind for me. The live experience is totally different.

      • Yes the Gary still lives and gets awsomer every year. I wish he could be regenerated as a 20 year old so he could do it all again. It’s one “ numan “ rights I’m all for!

      • I saw something called What A Feeling some 20 years ago. It had, amongst others, Louise and one of the Goss brothers from Bros (Matt, I think). Bros weren’t my thing but he was a revelation live.

  8. I had hoped that this nom was about farts.
    I had a curry (delivered) last night and well, after this mornings performance in the toilet I think farts are best avoided.
    The song Ring of fire springs to mind right now, and I have to take the dogs for a walk……..This is going to be interesting.

    • Just take a couple of those little plastic bags with you and a trowel to scoop it up. No problem.

    • I used to be able to eat vindaloos and phaals but ive been out of practice and now I have the palate of a gay.
      Madras is usually my limit these days.

  9. What about those poor porn actors and actresses?

    They have been hit hardest by the lack of funding during the beer virus pandemic.

    And the fluffers, don’t forget about the fluffers.

  10. I love theatre and can’t wait to go back to it. Unfortunately most arty types are drearily left-wing, but as someone said elsewhere it is possible to separate person and performance.
    As for all the subsidy stuff, can’t say I’ve ever benefited from this, being thoroughly un-tickworthy. There will of course be loads of hand-wringing now about not enough ethnics in the audience. Despite the fact they don’t want to go. Blacks in general are not of the right mindset (shall we say) to appreciate most theatre, and it’s probably against a certain religion, being entertaining and all that.
    If I go to a play I have a couple of hours away from fucking scum.

  11. Most ‘art’ created nowadays cant really be said to be worthy of the description.

    The late Roger Scruton knew about art and said one of its qualities is beauty, a quality that should transcend time.

    What the luvvies produce nowadays falls into two categories: cheap entertainment, or politicised ugly shit..

  12. I love the arts. They should keep them.

    Where else can you gawp at naked paintings without feeling guilty?

    *Runs away*

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