Burglary

Burglars really are cunts aren’t they, waltzing into people’s homes, pawing through people’s possessions and valuables looking for something to make a few quid off, I was burgled last year by a pair of iron curtain cunts who thought my house was a treasure trove, but they only managed to steal a few crayons of all things, I hadn’t realised I’d been burgled until the next morning, I knew where the cunts were at the time, and I thought about visiting them with my 12 bore, but alas I decided to phone the local cuntstablary, 2 days later PC Creasote waddles round my humble abode, saying we know who it was, but they’re leaving for home so waste of prosecuting, if I had been awoken by said cunts I would probably be typing this at her majesty’s pleasure,

I always say Tony Martin was right, a few cartridges and the criminal future of these cunts would be greatly reduced, but then some cunts would say you should let them go or phone the police for a slap on the wrist and a cuppa. Maybe the mudslimes are on to something, cut the cunts hands off and they won’t be able to grab so much, cunts to man and beast burglars really they are!

Nominated by Captain Quimson

50 thoughts on “Burglary

  1. As far as the police are concerned, burglary is no longer a crime, unless it’s a celebrity or an MP who’s been hit. They only exist to provide a crime reference number on the off-chance you have insurance. Oh, and to protect criminals, the left-wing and racist, illegal immigrants.

  2. It’s a sad day when the police can’t be arsed because they can’t be arsed!

    The law now depends on ‘only easy targets’

    The bloke who pissed next to the memorial to the PC who was murder hands himself in and takes his punishment, I bet the cunts who vandalised statues and the cenotaph didn’t say ‘it was me gov init’

    In your case CQ, the cops say they are foreigners and are fucking off so no point, by inference they are indicating that if they were British they would, so the crime is a crime.
    The only problem with the plod logic is if the two cunts were convicted they would have a record and could be prevented from returning to the UK, but now they can come back and rob someone else

    Cunts!

  3. Tony Martin was a decent bloke who just wanted to be left alone. The traveller trash who broke in that night were only the most recent invasion by these parasitical varmints.

    How was he to know who it was in the dark out to rob or kill him? The bastatds shouldn’t have been there! The little teat who died deserved what he got, the one who survived tried to sue Martin for a leg injury. He couldn’t even go back to his farm when he finished his sentence, too risky with the pikeys out for revenge. Scum.

    No amount of force should be deemed too much for dealing with burglers.

    • Anybody burgling my house would be involved in ‘a fatal fall down the stairs’. Nothing to do with me, cuntstable.

  4. I remember when two Cunts decided to rob an old work-mate of mine’s cottage. Pete was a big lad,a fucking big fella who swung a chainsaw all day…he was also not quite the full shilling…best avoided when he took one of his moods….he awoke to hear glass smashing so jumped bollock naked out of bed and went to investigate…caught some lad climbing in through the window…Pete very kindly helped him in by grabbing the Cunt by his hair and dragging him through the broken glass. He then set about dismantling the would-be robber…apparently it ended with the burglar screaming to his pal who was still outside…”Call the Police….he’s fucking killing me…call the Police” until silence reigned and his “friend” sped off in a transit. The Police did attend but were canny enough to point Pete in the right direction…”you’re too shocked to make a statement now..we’ll come back when you’ve calmed down ( and got your story straight)”. The burglar was taken away in an ambulance and really was in quite a bad way for a while….Pete was never charged and Dined/Drank out free on the strength of his actions for a long time.

    • Remind Pete I owe him a pint Sir Fiddler! Anyone in my home with bad intent leaves in a mess – I worked hard looting all that nazi gold – it’s mine, all mine! 😄
      I also have helpful and somewhat feral assistants who love the taste of trespasser – no trouble with felonious scamps at Fox towers!
      The Police do NOTHING, so the householder has to do something.

    • Fucking awesome story Sir Dick!
      If it had been Texas, the cunt would have had his head blown off with a sawn off more than like. That’s my kind of justice for these vile cunts.
      We’ve been burgled three times. Once the plod caught the cunt responsible, who was known to them as an an old school lag with a list of convictions as long as your arm. The cunt got six months, out in three.

  5. Only have two personal experiences of burglary. Once when looking after my sisters house, got broke into and just the video player was stolen, plod turned up and his first suggestion was I’d nicked it.

    I explained to plod it was my fucking VHS machine and he probably was never going to make it into the CID.

    The second time was when my mum died, the cunts burgled her hours after she died, made off with a mobile phone which the dumb cunt picked up when I called it, hello Mr sorry piece of shit says I.

    Burglary is a real low life crime, some of the cunts ain’t satisfied with breaking in, oh no, they have to shit on peoples floors and piss over the contents of their wardrobes while they are there. Burglary has been tacitly approved of by the judiciary for a few decades, now its not even a crime, if you don’t have adequate insurance though shit.

    Burglary of residential premises should be punishable by having a finger whacked with a lump hammer first offence, second offence off with your hand.

  6. I always thought Tony Martin was wrong to use his 12 bore.

    As soon as he was released, I sent him all the 10 bore loads I had.

  7. The only mistake Tony Martin made was not killing both the dirty pikey trash. They say he was running away and was shot in the back. So fucking what? What do you think he was doing there in the middle of the fucking night? He wasn’t collecting for the Sally fucking Army was he?
    The only cunts who give a flying fuck about a dead gyppo are the usual limp wristed, libtard, cry baby brigade. They can go and fuck themselves.

    • Well said Freddie! Dead thieves make poor witnesses, and I reserve a special malevolence towards thieving gypsy vermin.
      The only people who care about gyppos are the ones who have not (yet) been robbed by them.

      • The only thing I care about gyppos is their usefulness in picking up knackered appliances if, as I did a couple of weeks ago, you leave it at the end of your drive, not for the first time. They also take it much quicker than any paid council service would, 2 days on this occasion.

  8. Sorry to hear that your place has been hit cap’n.
    Tony Martin’s case never should have gone to trial and he should have been given a public service award.
    I’m not sure but I thought the Tories had changed the rules allowing lethal force.
    Shortly after whatever the change was a husband and wife team killed two burglars with legally owned shotguns, and other than an explanation, I think that was the end of it.
    In any event, I have a machete for just such an occasion myself, and I’ll worry, or not, about any consequences afterwards.

  9. You are on your own for just about any crime these days. Burglary, nicked car…….claim it on insurance, coppers don’t want to know. If you have the cunts on video make sure you’ve got a copy before you hand it to Plod because the cunts will lose it, fucking guaranteed. Of course if you are a peaceful, a poof or a tranny and some cunt has looked at you the wrong way Stap-ons finest will pursue him to the ends of the earth.
    Policing is all about politics these days. If you didn’t know that then the sight of Plod down on one knee in front of a baying mob should have given you an education.

    • And of course the insurance companies are happy to go along with the idea’ there’s so much crime about make sure you have everything insured’ . There wouldn’t be as much crime if the cunts were dealt with in an adequate manner.

  10. As previously mentioned, the closest we ever came to being burgled was when the Rottweiler was sleeping out in the garden and some scrote made the mistake of waking him up. I just managed to catch a glimpse of the white Reebok disappearing over the back wall. Hotly pursued by nine stone of muscle and teeth.

    In my book Tony Martin is a hero and should have been given a crimefighting award, not prison time.

    The little do-as-you-likey cunt, Fred Barras that Martin slotted had travelled all the way from the north to break into the old boy’s home accompanied by another walking piece of shit called Brendon Fearon.

    When interviewed, Fearon had the brass bollocks to actually say that Barras was a good boy and no way should have been shot. No mention of personal responsibility or any kind of remorse for being a thieving cunt who’s actions got his little boyfriend killed.

    Well you stupid cunt, when you break into a tooled up reclusive farmer’s house there is only going to be one likely outcome.

    Right now, Fred Barras is being spitroasted by Adolf Hitler and Satan himself and loving every second of it. Brendon Fearon will be joining them soon enough to be the spunk sponge in Hell’s very own bukkake circle….The cunt.

    • I knew Brendon Fearon in my teaching days ; a little shit. I last heard of him when he got busted for dealing heroin outside Newark Police Station.

  11. I’ve a notice on my fence warning all potential thieves of the fate that awaits them on my property:
    “DANGER: Michael Barrymore roaming free in garden. Trespassers will be fist-raped and drowned.”

  12. It is shocking that people on here are advocating the taking of a human life.

    #Thievingpikeybastardslivesmattertotheivingpikeybastardsapparently

    • We’re not advocating it but, you know, shit happens, and if it happens to them, nobody’s going to have any regrets, sort of thing.

  13. I’ve taken measures at my house to prevent burglary and they’re pretty obvious, the cunts take one look and decide there are easier places to rob. There’s been two attempts to get into my garage in the last few years, both failed but they fucked up one of the locks which cost me money.
    They’ve got the right idea in the States, if they get in your house you blast them.

  14. Thing is, it doesn’t matter how you try to protect you, your family, your home and your grounds, the law is so weak that it still favours the fucking tea-leaf over the victim,

    You can’t even put barbed wire along your perimeter fencing; you can’t even use plastic spikes, unless you put out a warning sign to say “trespassers fuck off – these walls are covered in spikes!”

    And if someone breaks into your home tooled up with machetes, simiters, Uzi 9mms, grenades and surface-to-air rocket launcher etc. and all you have is a cricket bat, the law will probably say you were in the wrong to attack the poor burglar because you used “excessive force!”. So down you go for a 15 year stretch at HMP Cunt.

  15. I once saw a pretty cool sign.
    It said:
    Anyone found here at night…
    Will be found here in the morning.

  16. I’ve been thinking about getting a gun recently so a mate of mine introduced me to a shady character who goes under the name of T.Rex.

    He’s just a small arms dealer….

  17. Let’s not forget another hero, Richard Osborn-Brooks aged 78, from Hither Green, who stabbed a pikey burglar to death with his own screwdriver. His cowardly gyppo mate ran away and left him to bleed to death in the street. Mr Brooks was arrested but not charged. However he had to change his identity and move away because the useless coppers couldn’t protect him from the poor victims of racism and discrimination.
    Fucking pikey bastards. I fucking hate them. I’ll never get in with the Islington set will I ?

  18. The old bill are pointless cunts. I want my right to bear arms as stipulated in the English bill of rights back. Then we can have a proper civil war and sort out loads of cunts. Cunts

    • And the bears should be less dangerous without their arms!
      Off now – I should be ashamed of myself! 😄

  19. Fuck the law.
    Uninvited guests in my country cottage will have to deal with a right ferocious cunt..
    Mrs.Terry.
    I pity their fate.
    No I don’t.

  20. Would love to live in the old US of A with their gun laws. Blowing some burglars head off with a magnum .44 would certainly make my day.

    • It’s a lovely thought Bob. The ultimate revenge and all that. But it’s far from glamorous.

      By no means an expert in such things, I can tell you a .44 Magnum revolver would not be a good choice for home defence. Too powerful. The last thing you need is to take the burglar’s head off and the round keep going through internal walls killing/injuring family members. Or they’re standing by a window and you miss. Where’s that round going? Could have a dead/injured neighbour or passer-by on your hands. Then there’s the sensory assault to deal with. A .44 Magnum round will be VERY loud. You’d need to be able to handle that because you might need a second or third shot. If after all that you down the bastard and it’s considered justified with no criminal charges, you could – and most likely will – face a civil law suit. That’s right, the surviving family members will try to sue you into oblivion. Everything you’ve ever worked for all gone with one squeeze of the trigger. Plus having to deal with the reality of having taken a life. Plus attitudes of neighbours, harassment from the dead cunt’s family and friends possibly leading to having to move. The list goes on. It’s a very big deal.

      Not trying to be a smart arse at all. I recently took the Texas License To Carry course. It was a real eye opener. What happened, how it happened, what you said to the cops, what you didn’t say to the cops, etc. etc. etc. all matters and can be the difference between a really bad day and a really, really, really horrible and lengthy ordeal for you and your family.

      Makes you think a tazer might be a better option! 😉

      • Evening IY.

        That’s a real eye-opener, a lot of people including myself had a certain admiration of home defence in the US probably romanticized from films and TV coupled with the UK’s pathetic attitude to protecting your property and the law seeming to favour the criminals rights.

      • Evening LL.

        Yeah, I certainly didn’t want to piss on Bob’s firework. I too thought it was all gung-ho with regards to guns on the US. You know – step on my property ya punk and I’ll blow your fucking head off. It’s really not like that. There are loons of course, but the people who carry or practice at the range on a regular basis do NOT want to use their firearm if there is any way for them not to. It’s absolutely last resort stuff. The mantra is 1) Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation to begin with and 2) Don’t engage and always walk away if that is a safe option, even if you look like a tit, a wuss, weak or ‘the loser’. A firearm will always escalate a situation, so it’s best not to introduce one.

        Films & TV does romanticize it and that’s OK I suppose. It’s supposed to be entertaining. But they really don’t show the effects of recoil, how loud handguns are let alone rifles or how difficult it is to shoot accurately one handed or while moving. The actors always make it seem like it’s simple and straight forward. It’s not. Shooting a hand gun well and accurately is a very difficult skill to master. It is fun though, but the paper targets I shoot at the range don’t shoot back. They do talk to me though – not sure if that’s a problem or not. 😉

  21. I was always taught, if it doesn’t belong to you, leave it alone.

    I’ve never been burgled, but I know people who have been. It’s devastating. Aside from the loss of valuable or precious things, the sense of your private space having been violated is a tough one.

    I’d like to see the law changed whereby if you’re in someone else’s home without their knowledge or permission and you’re caught, then all bets are off.

  22. I suggest keeping your home looking a right tip.
    That way, if burglars come, they’ll think it’s already been burgled, they’ll give up and go elsewhere.

      • Imitation Yank, I remember when I was a young child I kept my room tidy.
        When I was a teenager, complete opposite hehe 🙂

      • Well observed again my man. I did the same thing. Despite the mess, we always knew exactly where anything was though, right? And could always tidy up in 30 seconds if a girlfriend was expected. Ahhhh…..those teenage years.

  23. Burglars are the fucking scum of the earth. I don’t give a dry whore fuck what problems they have in their lives, damaging someone’s house and stealing their property is bad, but it’s the violation of their home that does it for me. After some cunt has broken into your home, you never feel the same again, all because some filthy smack rat, or some cousin fucking gyppo wants to earn a quick few bob. They don’t care about anyone but themselves, so fuck them. Hang them, gas them, shoot them, I’m easy.

  24. I should just like to echo IY’s considered and well written comments above regarding the employment of deadly force.
    It is something that should be thought about long and hard particularly if it is an option you have available.
    I recommend one should read “In the Gravest Extreme” by Mass Ayoob.
    Carry on cunting!

    • Cheers Creedence. That book was also recommended to me. Since I did my LTC course, I’ve bought some books on situational awareness. It’s something we could all be better at, except perhaps some of the cunters who have served in the military. They can probably smell trouble a mile away.

      • Hi IY,
        Your right on all points.
        Keep your powder dry!
        👍👍

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