OK I admit I am probably a fuddy duddy myself but that doesn´t mean I have to put up with other fuddy duddies.
I like fuddy duddy things like spending hours over a cryptic crossword, wearing a suit and tie on a special occasion although I am immediately ridiculed by wife and daughter for doing so, fountain pens, afternoon tea with scones and shortbread, bowls, playing the mouth organ and birdwatching. This latter brings out the worse in Ms P who accuses me of inventing species like the three-toed treecreeper or the blue-footed booby. Mrs P´s reaction when she sees me remove my harmonica from its case and wipe it reverentially is to put her hat on and leave.
However, other fuddy duddies piss me off. For example, I have a brother-in-law who thinks he is good at sculpting and wood carving and has filled his large house with his “works of arts”. He hasn´t realized after 30 years that he has no talent yet leaves these pieces of twisted junk everywhere. I once counted 80 pieces in his living room, ranging from a crumbling Eiffel Tower made from soapstone to a shaky “erotic” Kama Sutra carving of what looked like stick insects, before giving up.
I met another fuddy duddy a while back as I was about to reverse after taking a wrong turning. A cardigan came flying out of a nearby house and angrily pointed to a sign saying “No turning in this street. By order”. I let him rant on before I realized he was enjoying himself. So instead of arguing, I nodded sympathetically and told him I had the same problem in my street. I think this annoyed him more than if I had Dick Fiddlered him and told him to fuck off.
I had better stop now as I am beginning to enjoy this and will go on forever.
Nominated by Mr Polly
I must admit, I think the noms on IsaC are fucking hilarious of late. Instead of the usual suspects on an endless loop, we have some decidedly left field rants and most enjoyable they are too.
A tip of the hat to you Mr P, superb effort 🤣🤣
17
Nothing more british than a petty,interfering,nosey,old fudey duddy!!
Found throughout the British isles on neighborhood watch committees, community actiin groups, and the like, always convinced that ‘chairman of the high peak vintage railways position is like being chief of police.
I like them!
Sorry meant I like telling them ro get fucked.
11
Rest assured, the fuddy duddy is rife over here too. Moaning, interfering or holding up queues by blathering on to the supermarket checkout girl, they are everywhere. To be honest, I’m quite looking forward to being of an age where I can join in!
Evening Miserable.
8
At least IsAC now has a new addition to the vocab by way of ‘Dick Fiddlered’ following this cunting.
5
I like that…..you have now been “Dick Fiddlered”, followed on by giving the victim a calling card.
6
Morning LL, everybody.
The picture for this nom,
Isnt actually Victor Meldrew its Dicks passport photo.
6
Morning Kiwi, think its just the natural evolution of the ageing white bloke?
Blokes that used to have some authority when working, in charge of a hundred men, retire, find no ones listening to them so become a fuddy duddy?
I like getting older too, my behaviour can be written off with “its his age”
“He didnt mean it !”
😁😁😁
6
Lucky you. My behaviour is often met with lots of pointing and people saying “it was that fat cunt over there!”.
5
I have a plethora of fuddy duddy CUNTS as neighbours. My house sits adjacent to a communal private road. The hedge separating the two is essentially a mix of dead hawthorn, weeds, English Ivy, ferns and brambles.
I wanted to cut the cunt down and replace with a new, healthy hedge (of their choice and at my cost) but the fuddy duddys objected as they liked the ‘natural look’ and one was a birdwatcher. They even tried to argue the hedge was protected under the 1997 Hedgerow Regs, but clearly didn’t read the Regs as this was bollocks.
Fed up of the wankery, I had my boundary pegged out by a surveyor using GPS. To their chagrin most of the growth fell into my land!
I have now cut back most of the dead hedge, much to their disgust. I am now erecting a sturdy metal panel fence.
Fuck them.
27
Morning Paul, as Fiddler will verify farmers are paid nowadays to maintain hedgerows, add to them, some are really old.
The hedgerows not the farmers.
6
I was watching an old Michael Wood history programme tother day. He said that there was a study on hedges done by some Oxbridge cunts back in 70’s, their conclusion was that on average, the more plant species found in a particular hedge row, the older it was and as an approximation, one species of plant would account for about 100 years. So if you could count about 15 species of plant, you were probably looking at a hedge from the late Roman period. Not sure if utter bollocks but seems like a fairly reasonable conclusion.
Lovely weather, I’m going to go for a stroll across the fields
3
Testing testing…
0
I don’t mind the ‘fuddy duddy’, despite being in my (late late) 30s. I can conceivably see myself becoming one sooner rather than later.
I mean, there’s an indescribable charm around some forthright retired geezer who loves his cricket, smokes a pipe loaded with Wills’ Superfine Shagg, delights in pointing out order within his homestead and neighbourhood, only eats meals with heavy offal content and only drinks archaic beverages brewed using mead production methods from the renaissance.
It’s proper. It’s structure. It’s values. And most of all, it’s a last standing bastion of Britishness – something I am rapidly learning to appreciate in this irreversibly changing society burgeoned with increasingly barbaric enrichers and lobbers. The fuddy-duddy says hello when you pass him on a cold Winter morning. He goes to let you on the bus first even though he can barely stand upright these days. He says ‘much obliged’ to you after he does you a favour.
Around 2015, I was working with a elderly Yorkshire architect – proper old school panama hat ‘n’ cravat ex-RAF type – who after a meeting, whipped out a dictaphone Alan Partridge style and masterfully recorded some of his action memos. It was simultaneously embarrassing, yet lovely; seeing this guy clearly showing off his idea of ‘new fangled’ technology whilst totally oblivious to the fact that the rest of us had mobile phones which could perform the function of his beloved gadget one million times more efficiently as a throwaway extra.
Maybe I’m an overtly mawkish cunt romanticising this shit beyond reason, but that is nevertheless how it feels to me.
Nice nom Mr. Polly, but I cannot cunt fuddy-duddies no matter how much they might annoy me at times.
31
is late late 30s really 47? – you’re cheeky you are
2
Sadly Britain will lose many fuddies to the cursed Chinese virus.
6
Funny isn’t how the Western media have spent the last 35-40 years telling us how Russia is the enemy, dangerous and a threat to our freedom.
Turns out all it took to ‘destroy our freedom’ was a backward, diseased, noveau-riche population who like to eat literal shit and rotten animals.
18
No doubt this was a “Cunning Plan” contrived between the Chinese and the bitter and twisted Remainers.
Create a virus that would be selective in who it infects, with special attention to old cunts in Britain who voted to leave the EU and/or voted Tory in the last election.
Kill them all off thus reducing the average demographic age to about 40 (roughly encompassing Millennials). That way when this government falls apart, and a new election is called, Labour will win by a massive majority, Brexit will be put on hold as a new referendum is called, along with some rigged questions, and again the Remainers will win by another massive majority.
Job done!
9
Glad to see you’ve been paying attention to my posts over the last couple of months Techno… either that or it’s a case of great minds think alike.
5
We need a selective virus that only kills politicians. Been saying so for decades
1
Sorry to break into this thread Mr Polly, just read the below.
“ Four boats carrying up to 57 migrants have been intercepted by the Border Force in the English Channel.
Some of those on board, including 23 people on one boat, said they were Iranian, the Home Office said.
It comes after 63 migrants tried to cross the English Channel on Tuesday, despite lockdown measures remaining in place in the UK.
All of those brought to the UK will be monitored for signs of Covid-19, the Home Office added.”
I’m doing my best to stick to the rules and we then embrace the incoming.
I don’t fucking believe it!
15
Sent e-mail of complaint and asked Home Office for an investigation into what I see as a “nice little earner ” at £800 a peasant. No fucker has responded.
Cunts.
7
Put them in a cage! Load onto a Hercules and fly back to Iran, unload cage and fuck off!
Sorted!
7
Fly Hercules to 30,000 feet over pretty much anywhere, lower ramp, slide cage out back, raise ramp, fuck off.
4
I have no problem with fuddy duddies except at bloody cash point machines .
4
Where I live now on the West coast of C.u.mbria, most of the demographic seems to be white, working and middle class, and over 45, with some as old as in their 90s!
I have met a few fuddy-duddies, but there mostly harmless, usually complaining about the weather – too cold, too wet, too hot, too dry etc. Or they moan about the RAF flying their jets a little too low in the skies; or the MOD for firing their practice missiles over at Eskmeals so early in the morning.
Makes a nice change from the usual whinging I used to hear when living in Brum “Bloody kids/bikes/cars/music” and “Look at all that litter!” and “Those parking stanleys have parked outside my house again!” or “Look at the state of that tart walking down the street” or “how many more kids does she want? Never worked a day in her life!”
Therefore, I don’t mind the Victor Meldrews up these parts – at least they’re English and speak English. Which trumps any criticism from me.
“I don’t believe it!”
17
Eskmeals. Always trying to hit the Isle of Man.
Do they still do proof firing of big guns there?
The sound of those triple or whatever charged guns was worse/better than any puny jet or missile. Amused me to see the excursion steam trains using the loop which was not on OS map. Nice beer, lovely folk. Happy days.
2
I remember Vulcans firing up at Burtonwood when I was a kid. They flew over the house low enough to mess with the telly.
Unforgettable sights and sounds.
Burtonwood Ale was pretty good a bit down the road.
0
The only problem I have with fuddy duddies occurs when I am stood behind one of the cunts in a shop who insists on fucking yapping inanely to the checkout girl then putting their money on the counter for said mong checkout girl to attempt to count it out instead of just fucking handing it over. Fucking cunts!
4
It’s an uneasy balance between fuddyhood and growthefuckupyoucuntyou’re70, I find. You’re too hard on yourself, Mr. P. To thine own self be true etc, but Mrs P may have a point re. the moothie. Get a sitar.
4
I thought all the old’uns were to stay indoors, survive and protect and all that?
Still seem to be plenty of them to dawdle around in front of me when I’m trying to get to work.
In fact, old cunts in Toyotas and Hondas seem to be the only ones around now all the school run gin mums are having to look after their own spawn.
8
I’m with you on this, marvellous cunting.
I was out in my local park the yesterday taking my dog for a walk and having my daily allowed exercise.
An old timer was ambling towards me a metal walking stick in each hand – as I got closer to him I veered away to keep my distance, but Amber (dog) had stopped to piss, he saw this and suddenly stopped, dropped one of his sticks, grasped the other with both hands like he as wielding a broadsword and fucking reached out and poked me in the chest with it saying ‘keep your distance young man’.
I was flabbergasted to say the least and it took all of my reserves of patience not to grab said stick and shove it up his arse sideways.
Then, the William Wallace motherfucker had the nerve to say, ‘you shouldn’t be out anyway’, to which I replied, ‘well, in that case, neither should you’.
Then, he uttered possibly the craziest thing I’ve heard in a while
‘My doctor has told me I have to exercise, so I have right to be out’
At this point my dog is growling low in her throat at him as he’s still got me at swordpoint… bearing in mind Amber is the size of a peanut (she’s a chiahuahua cross) but she must have the voice box of a Rottweiler, her growl is really throaty and loud which is at odds with her size.
At this he went mental and made a move to swipe at her with his stick – I fucking lost it and ‘gently’ told him to cease and desist with what he was doing.
At this, he picked up his other stick and shuffled off, hopefully to his demise in the non too distant future… but not from Covid-19 obviously 😉
Honestly, you go out for a quick fucking stroll, minding your own business and encounter a geriatric extra from fucking Braveheart…
Unreal…
12
Things said by Fuddy duddies-
“You cant park there”..
“The rules clearly state”..
“Think youll find”..
“As chairman/head keeper/ warden”..
“Its within my authority”..
“Im phoning the police”..
9
Many years ago – early 70s – I was ratting with my air rifle down by the canal.
Female fuddy-duddy came along and asked if I had a license for my gun. I pointed out the fact that the rifle I was using did not require a license.
The look on her face was priceless when I asked her if she had a license for her dog.
I’m an old bugger now, but I don’t think anyone would call me a fuddy-duddy as I still hate ’em.
2
“They’ll never take our free bus pass”…
5
Never! NEVER!
They will have to prise it from my cold dead hands!
2
“We will fight them in the comfortable pants section of M&S, we will fight them on our mobility scooters clogging up the pavements and dawdling on the outside lane of the motorway at 40mph, we shall never surrender”.
4
I’m an old cunt out getting my exercise and I can’t count the number of times I’ve stepped out into the road to avoid people walking toward me two or three abreast across the pavement.
I can’t say I didn’t know how many arseholes there are because I did.
3
I too am a very old fart. Fuddy Duddy ? Nah….not me.
4
I like my fountain pen. Does that make me a fuddy duddy?
And I have nothing but contempt for millenials, so I guess I’ve answered that question. I’m loving the way the bearded soy boys leap out of your way in the supermarket. This is the millenial way of social distancing. Us fuddies make eye contact, grin, then use that small social interaction to agree which path each party will take. Simple. The millenials simply freeze like the cunts they are.
6
One classy old bag, from M & S I’d say, made me laugh in Asda this morning. She wouldn’t pass a couple of us (the look of horror on her face at there even being people in the same shop) just saying how pointless some of this distancing is, as in trying to do it in aisles that are less than 2m wide, when I pointed out to her that here was a bloke standing right behind her. It wasn’t her husband and I thought she was going to fill her pants. Funny as fuck.
6
Don’t wear a suit and a fountain pen together though.
Ink on a shirt is unpleasant.
1
I suppose I am on the fuddy duddy fringe, I like things a certain way and have pet hates, however one thing I have liked since I was a teenager are women with nice pert arses and the day that stops I will be officially dead!
6
The origin of the term is Scottish. . . . . . . . . .
Wee stuffy, stumpy, dumpie laddie,
Thou urchin elfin, bare an’ duddy,
Thy plumpit kite an’ cheek sae ruddy
Are fairly baggit,
Although the breekums on thy fuddy
Are e’en right raggit.
Which, translated, roughly means . . . . . . .
Poor scruffy little lad, bare and ragged, your wet belly and red cheeks are swollen and the trousers on your buttocks are torn.
Fuckin great IsAC, isn’t it? You learn something new each day.
4
By Fuddy Duddy you mean the ageing population or a general, “everyone can be one” diversity?
If you mean ditherers then I agree. The sort of cunt who stands there looking at the store shelves wondering what to buy, ever heard of a shopping list? There’s an ever growing queue outside while you’re perusing your choices, it’s a food shop not the cunting library, buy your shit and fuck off sharpish.
Or the sort of twat who crawls along in their car with their spouse/partner pointing at various houses as they try to work out if #37 is before or after #211.
Pull over and work it the fuck out in your own time without making the rest of us assume tortoise factor 6 speed.
Or the groups of fluorescent backpacked mongs standing in the middle of the street with an upside down map and jabbering incomprehensibly in some polyglot turmoil, find a bench, sit down and apply some rationale to your predicament. Get out of my way you foreign cunts, oh sorry, my fault for barging into you.
These scenarios apply equally to the aged and senile, but they have the excuse of being aged and senile. Millennials on the other hand are so phone zombified they shall be allowed no such excuse. The future generation of fucktards, libtards and mongtards.
And one more thing, all you young buckaroos who reckon you’re the bollocks, consider this, there’s only one alternative to growing old and that’s death, so think on that before you try getting all Peter fucking Pan.
12
I have to concur with 3 d cunt,
Here in Beirut I am on a ground floor flat and with the hot weather have the back door open, I also have a 7 foot fence round the garden to keep the dogs in (Guinness book of records highest jumping dog Greyhound 6ft, I have two) and the cunts out.
However I hear regular screams of indignation as various flats are invaded by one of the fudie dudies Chihuahuas, who is doing her “One walk a day” I would differ on this one walk claim, because the little cunt tries to get under my gate, and should it succeed I doubt it will make it out alive ( this is fact and not a death threat in keeping with forum T’s and C’s).
To be honest, we seem to be having more micro dog fights and aggravation from pensioners with their dogs off the lead than anything else.
1
Remember one in the car park at work years back, asking me where the nearest marina was. I asked her if I looked like I owned a fucking yacht, as I climbed into my beat up 15 year old Ford Sierra.
2
Is “fuddy” an adjective.
And if so are there other types of “duddy”?
Obviously this comes from a fully paid up Old Fogey.
2
Loads.
Theres a showaddyduddy like a ageing teddy boy,
A big duddy, fat likes pushing his weight around,
And a duddy warbucks, a flash rich old duddy.
1
Mr Fiddler (a poem)
His face is ruddy
His Wellington boots muddy
He doesn’t wear a ‘hoodie’
He doesn’t get in the ‘nuddie’ (he’s not a Naturist)
Though he sometimes waves his ‘woody’
Of The Gayness he has made a study
And stubbornly sticks to his unorthodox views though many think he is bloody (minded).
Thank you.
6
I work in a shop.
I notice people of a certain age lick their fingers before taking money out of their purses and wallets.
Please stop doing that.
3
Make sure they see you sticking your hand down the back of your trousers, and scratching your arse, before you hand over the change. I was told this by the landlord of a pub I worked at as a student. It works.
1
My next door neighbour is one of these and a right cunt.
I’ve told him he’s a cunt but he just carries on like a fuddy duddy cunt anyway.
Fucking hopeless.
1
Spot on cunting also..
1
Unkle Terry, have you put him in the oven yet? Haha! 😀
2
Isn’t Fuddy Duddy the same as being eccentric? If so, I have to stick my hand up to it. I have a fountain pen, and thoroughly enjoy afternoon tea at the marina! Sadly, they have no idea about clotted cream, and try to serve up something weak and watery from an aerosol can! My ambition is to become Commodore of the Yacht Club, where I can Fuddy Duddy on a scale that would impress the Emporer Caligula, himself!
3